The SciPunk Center

Tale of Two Tablets, two stores, and two sides of town.

2011-12-14T01:26:00.015-05:00

OK, so here's the premise... in my typical fashion, two weeks ago I told my friends I was starting to research which Tablet Computer is the best choice for Christmas 2011, and I was going to go down to the two flagship showrooms and grill the professional sales force, and report back with some definitive insights. So after a few quick searches, and a few articles, I finally (two weeks later) headed down get the hands on experience.

Now just for historical context...
It is now 2011... the eve of 2012. This year marked the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11th. This year was the 100th birthday of the New York Public Library. The two southern entrances of Central Park had long since been established... Grand Army Plaza on the East and Columbus Circle on the West.

Two years ago, the media announced the final demise of the CRT (Cathode Ray Tube) and since then virtually everybody has switched over to a High Definition Flat Screen.

Steve Jobs died this year.

The first iPod was released 10 years ago.

Born the 60's, coming of age in the 70's, I saw the hippies, the punks, the grunge, the hipsters, disco, hip hop... I spent HOURS as a kid playing Pinball... mastering the nuance of my favorite machines. (Paragon... Fireball... FirePower... ) I saw the first video games EVER... Pong, Texas Shoot Out, Sea Wolf, Space Wars, Space Invaders, Asteroids, etc etc etc.

I owned an Apple ][ computer, with TWO floppy drives (the old 5.25 inch vinyl disks, and I'd cut a notch w/ a toe nail clipper so I could flip them over and use the other side). The two Steves were legends... Jobs and Wosniak, Wosniak being the ACTUAL genius, the other soon to be forgotten to history as the "smoke and mirrors" guy. (ok, so much for predictions)

BTW: that Apple ][ went for about $1300... not including a monitor. We just used an old TV.

But I digress... here we are 2011. Eve of 2012. Christmas is 11 days away. This is the year of the Tablet.

I was once actually PAID good money to be an early adopter. Advertising execs hired me (via their IT department) to poke around on the latest gadgets and report back to them. Long since I've been out of that game. I'm practically AMISH these days. I wait until tech is stable, then wait two more generations until it comes down in price... then I make the purchase. Well welcome to 2011 (eve of 2012).

So right now there are two stable products in direct competition. No other tablets are really relevant... and as we will see, even one of these is hardly relevant. The two contenders are the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 and the Apple iPad 2.

Cut to the chase... bottom line... Reader's Digest version...
... just pick one, buy it, and enjoy. Both products are essentially equivalent in functionality, in user experience, and in price. There is no WRONG choice here.

Want the nitty gritty... here's the chart and a decent article.
Galaxy 10.1 vs iPad2

So to cover the main concerns, if you want to chose between the two, only a few things matter.

BOTH are slim, light weight, and AMAZINGLY cool.
BOTH show movies in HD, photos, music, news, etc.
BOTH have BEAUTIFUL graphics displays.
BOTH now let you zoom in and out w/ your thumb and index finger in a "pinch" motion.
BOTH give that cool "flip of the finger" motion to scroll from page to page, including the nuance where if you flip faster, you will scroll faster and see "virtual momentum".
BOTH will take a day or two to get used to, a week or two to get the nuance, and inside a month you will probably have it down to second nature
BOTH go for between $500-$700

The hardware differences are VAST, yet from the end user's point of view, completely minimal. Does anybody really care??? The REAL difference is the Operating System. (iPad is 7 grams heavier... yes, the weight of seven paper clips... yet is about 1/8 inch slimmer. You GET me?)

So let's talk about quickly about Apple's image... and hypocrisy.
Let's just start with this, shall we?
Apple's 1984 commercial.

From DAY ONE, Apple kept tight control on their proprietary rights. Fair enough. They invented stuff, they want to OWN that stuff, and monetize that stuff. Let's ignore for one second that they actually STOLE the graphics user interface from Xerox (literally while the boss was out of the office, and a lackey let them in, and they downloaded the entire Xerox library of code). So how is it that this corporation who fiercely protects its proprietary rights and is attempting to dominate the marketplace... how are they seen as "raging against the machine"???

While Apple was building the Macintosh, there was already an "open source" community that was actually offering alternatives to the establishment. In fact IBM's first computers, and what is TO THIS DAY considered to be the "Windows Platform" is in really an open system. Apple IS the machine against which they are raging.

OK, this is getting far to long. Let me get to the main point, and describe my experience today.

Came out of the subway at Columbus Circle. The South West Entrance to Central Park. The statue of Christopher Columbus standing here since 1892, and the monument to The Maine (remember The Maine) since 1911. The Time Warner Center has been here for a decade, replacing the old New York Colosseum. I walk in the big main entrance, go upstairs two escalator flights up (paste the now defunked Boarders Bookstore... talk about irony)... up to the Samsung Flagship Showroom. It's BEAUTIFUL. Glass walls looking out over Columbus Circle and Central Park... tables set up w/ the tablets, sections on the side with the new Flat Screens, Laptops, Home Theater Systems...

Three freak/nerds at the main doorway to welcome me in. All wearing the nice Samsung clothes, ties on the gentlemen... but the tattoos and matted thick hair and unshaven faces gave away their freakish nature. (all good... I'm FINE with that). I should have stopped right there and stated my case... "I'm here too look at your Galaxy 10.1, ask a few questions, and then head across town to the Apple Store... now SELL ME your product !!!"

Nah, I walked by them, and headed to the table and poked around on the several Galaxy Tab 10.1 tablets that were on display. Spent a good 10 or 15 minutes getting a good idea of what was there. Mind you, I don't have Android ANYTHING right now... so I'm completely naive. Was able to pull up videos, pictures, web... found my OWN YouTube vids... assumed FB would work (didn't want to punch in my FB password on the demo unit).

Now here's what I want to talk about... this is THE FLAGSHIP STORE... at Columbus Circle, NYC... looking over Central Park... just upstairs is Jazz at Lincoln Center. This is the BIG TIME.

So I look around the store... not a lot of customers there. Mostly Euro-tourists. Some kids poking around on the Tablets or checking out the Home Theaters. No hustle, no bustle. The few workers (besides the nerds at the door) were more interested in surfing the web, or checking their FB accounts.

I looked over at the Samsung rep next to me, he was about 19 years old, native New Yorker from The Barrio... he didn't acknowledge my presence, was just poking around on a tablet. So I said "Can I ask you a few questions? First of all is the easy one... I'm thinking about buying a few of these for my family, but next I'm going across town to the Apple Store. Why should I buy the Galaxy instead of the iPad?"

OK, softball... should have a list of 10 reasons at the tip of his tongue. He was clueless. "Uh... do you like Android?" I said, "I don't know... I don't use Android." "Uh, well, if you like Android, well this runs Android... other than that... well, they're kind of the same."

DAMN KID... at least give me the sales pitch.

So I say "I have a camera in my pocket... I just shot a few pictures outside. Can you show me how to put them on this tablet?"

He said "Uh, we don't have a cable that connects to your camera. I think you have to go through a web site or something."

I repeated "Or something? Really?"

He said, "Yeah, maybe something like Snapfish."

OK, so he's useless. I pull over the Asian kid. I ask the same question. He's FAR more knowledgeable... which isn't really saying much. He said, if you plug this into your home computer with the USB cable, you can just drag and drop your pictures into the picture folder."

I said, "So it just mounts like an external hard drive? Doesn't launch some sort of iTunes app? I can just drag and drop? I like that... can you SHOW ME THAT?!?"

He says, "What do you mean?" I say, "well can you plug this tablet into a computer that's running Windows 7, and show me that it mounts like an external hard drive, doesn't launch some proprietary app, and lets me drag and drop files?"

He says, "Uh, well this unit is connected by a security device. And besides, we'd need a computer to show that."

I say, "Yeah, but this is a really basic feature. This is your main show room... in Columbus Circle... in New York City. In fact right there is a whole section of Samsung laptop computers on display. Can't you show me how you can connect this tablet to one of those computers, and move files to it?"

Him, "Uh, let me see." Talks to security guy... like this never ever came up before. They break out the special key, unhook the device, and we walk over to the laptop section. Unfortunately, the security device USB cable isn't standard, so he has to go into the back room to find a USB cable.

Meanwhile, one of the (apparently) main nerds who was manning the front door (remember the freak/nerds who welcomed me?) comes over because clearly something weird was going on. He seemed sort of flabbergasted that this guy left an unsecured tablet in front of me, while he went into the back room to look for a cable... he grabbed the tablet and held it until the guy came back from the back room. So twenty minutes in, I got to see that a Galaxy Tab running Android (Honeycomb 3.1) does mount as a hard drive and lets you drag and drop files. NICE! I like that !!! How about THEM Apples ?!? :-)

Next two questions, them I'm outta here. "Can I use this as a GPS?" "Sure, if you get the 3G version." "But under no circumstances will I be paying a monthly fee... so can I use the Galaxy Tab as a GPS without a monthly fee?" Answer, mostly accurate... "No."

But here's what bugged me... I said "are you sure?" He said, "Let me check..." Did he go to a supervisor, to a Samsung Wiki, to some definitive source of information? No, he went to Google.com and typed in Galaxy Tab 10.1 GPS. For THIS I came down to the flagship store?!?

Well before I left, I stopped by the nerd/geeks at the door. Turns out I should have just started with them. They were the guys who knew the products, knew the nuance, new what was what. There IS a USB connector offered by Garman that allows your Galaxy to act as a GPS. Otherwise, even without the G3 network, if you are in a WiFi hotspot (basically anywhere in NYC) you are likely to get a damn good idea of your location... but once you're outside the city, you need 3G and a monthly contract to figure out where you are. Also discussed a bit about development (something the floor guys were CLUELESS about). You can EASILY develop on the Galaxy, with just a USB cable, or your wireless network, or the Google environment. (Again, try that on Apple)

During this whole time (almost an hour), there was not a single SALE made in this Samsung show room. Just tourists poking around, and me asking easy questions that sent up red flags.

OK, walk across town to the main Apple Store in Grand Army Plaza... the OTHER main entrance to Central Park. No views of the park from here... Apple Store is under ground, inside the big glass cube, down the spiral staircase.

WOW!!! Maybe TWO THOUSAND people bustling all around the store. People lined up in a maze of ropes waiting for... well I don't know WHAT they were on line for. Red shirted "geniuses" pre-emptively asking people "can I help you... do you have any questions?" Though it was sometimes hard to get their attention, as they seemed to be waving people over form one table to another to show them some other device. And keep in mind, there are now FOUR Apple Stores in Manhattan... Grand Army Plaza (in front of FAO Schwartz), B'Way and 65th (there abouts... upper West Side), 14th Street and 9th, and NOW Grand Central Terminal. Each one equally as bustling.

The guy next to me got the attention of a sales rep, and she pleasantly gave advice and recommendations, and promptly sold him two iPads w/ extended warranties... each coming to about $750. She disappeared for a few minutes and returned with his iPads in the boxes, and a nifty Apple shopping bag (kinda like a knapsack).

She then happily turned her attention to me. I knew I was not gonna get to plug an iPad2 into a Win 7 PC, but I asked what would happen. She assured me, all communications to the iPad2 go through iTunes. You don't get folders, it doesn't mount like a flash drive, you are always "inside" iTunes.

When I asked her how I move my pictures from my camera to the iPad, she happily asked me to wait for a minute... and returned promptly with the solution... a usb adapter that would accept my HDSD card.

As with the Galaxy, the only true GPS functionality comes with a contract and monthly fee. Unlike the Galaxy, they DON'T offer a GPS add on device.

Development? Well apparently that's a whole other story. If you want to develop for the iPad, you need to upload your apps to Apple's central brain-tank... and if they're OK with what you're doing, they will allow you to download your own app onto your own device, and see if it works. Yes this IS the machine they were RAGING AGAINST !!! Keep in mind, Apple has been known to "brick" their devices. Yes THEIR devices... even though you bought it... if they don't like what you are doing with it, they will send the sliver bullet through the air waves and turn it into a door stop.

And finally, I really need to add the final feature... FLASH. Since Steve Jobs doesn't like the content that is being delivered by some people who use FLASH technology (ahem... porn), he decided to cripple the iPad. The iPad runs FLASH perfectly... but it will ONLY run FLASH when it is streaming content from YouTube. Otherwise, FLASH will not run. You paid for the device, but HE gets to decide (from the grave) what you do with it.

So there it is. Two very similar devices. A few technical advantages for each. Mostly the exact same functionality. Galaxy runs Android, is open source, allows drag and drop, allows easy development, and allows you to run Flash and watch porn. iPad runs iOS, is proprietary, does not allow drag and drop, needs to go through Apple's central office for development, and does not run Flash except for YouTube.

Neither can run as a GPS without a monthly fee, though for a one time purchase, you can get a GPS adapter for the Galaxy.

People are CRAMMED into the Apple Store, grabbing the knowledgeable staff and making purchases hand over fist. Inventory is FLYING off the shelf. Samsung store is staffed mostly by flunkies and a few knowledgeable managers, and is mostly empty to the point where you can hear crickets chirping... no sales to be seen.

Grand Central Terminal tour

2011-11-26T08:51:00.000-05:00

Was fun and interesting, though could have been better in my opinion. The tour was sponsored by the Grand Central Development Corp (or group, our whatever they're called). They are the group who puts out the information kiosks, the garbage cans, etc etc... apparently taxes in NYC only go so far, and are not enough to cover things like Central Park, or Zuccotti Park, or to keep districts up to par... so the better connected groups can organize and make their own areas better with their "Development Corps" (or whatever they're called).

We started in the lobby (privately owned public space) of a building across the street. For almost an hour it was a lecture by the guide, with some pictures on a clipboard (just a few, like 4 or 5).

The guide was a dandy of a fellow, in a nice suite and bow tie, with a brass white rabbit on the lapel of his suite coat. I'm going out on a limb here, and guess that he's an old gay jew in his late 60s. While he was a fountain of information, he also was putting on a show. I guess that's what we tour guides do. But he can't sing, or dance... and his jokes are pretty bad. He often uses volunteers from the audience for visual aids, except that he's expressing simple concepts that don't really need a visual aide, so they end up sort of cheap ways to get audience participation for no real reason (imo). For example, hes demonstrating that the building we were in did not own the land it was resting on... they really just own the air rights, i.e. the rights to build above the land below them. So he brings up a woman, asks her to remove her glove, hold her hand out in front of her, and has several people touch her hand and asks how it feels. Not really sure what that was about, people awkwardly said "warm" and "soft"... really just a way to get a few people involved in the demo I guess... then asked what she was holding in her hand. Eventually we came to the conclusion (ok, he just said it) that she was holding hundreds of millions of dollars of air... then he started blowing air towards her hand saying "millions and millions of dollars". OK, kind of cute, got a vague smile from some people. But we didn't come here for the silly demonstrations, or to be entertained... we came here for INFORMATION. (well, I did) Honestly, there are funnier people to make you laugh, better entertainers on every street corner of Times Square... let's just stick to the stories.

But I get it, and he IS THE professional. But it reminded me of a magician... minus the magic. His big reveal was not some mind-bending illusion, but a simple fact.

That said, he did have some really interesting and enlightening facts and stories about NYC, Park Avenue, architecture in general, socio-politics, religion, business, finances, literature, etc. I just didn't need the silly visuals... they were distracting to me, and dragged the process out rather than making it more interesting. Most entertaining is the old gay dude trying to visually demonstrate how a man would make romantic gestures towards a woman. Round hole, square peg.

To a large extent it was his version of New York History, starting with a diatribe about how NYC and America at large was not a Christian nation. Now I was told, as tour guides, we should avoid religion and politics... which of course is impossible if you are talking about history and site, which are inevitably tied to religion and politics... but there are boundaries. He seemed to be proselytizing, or perhaps challenging some potential tourists from the Bible Belt (don't know if any were present)... trying to inject his New York Liberal Gay Jew paradigm. I also note, this forum was not a debate... while there were some questions and comments from the audience, it was mostly his monologue. So nobody could really challenge his assertions.

Mind you, he did have a convincing argument... and I agree with him on most of his points. I'm just not sure why this was the forum for this subject... and not sure we got the whole story.

But this was not for no reason at all, it lead into the construction of St. Patrick's Cathedral... built by those NON-Christians known as the Irish Catholics... his point being that the only official Christians in NYC were the ones who acknowledged the British Monarch as the head of the Church. Irish were NOT allowed to be buried inside the City Limits, so they built their own Cathedral out in the sprawling grassy hinterlands.

He made clear that the event includes a tour of Grand Central Terminal, but was sponsored by the consortium to bring awareness to the whole neighborhood... thus the history lesson was appropriate. The tour of GCT was cool, but by now I knew pretty much all the facts that he relayed to us. For me, it was more of a learning experience as to how a professional tour guide works. This guy literally wrote the tour guide test.

Just like my instructor (and his buddy) Lee Gelber, he's a bit out of date. For example, telling the crowd how The Hotel Pennsylvania has the most famous phone number... and goes into a little routine where he hums the tune and dances a bit, and expects the crowd to all chime in and sing Pennsylvania 6 5000. One guy (besides me) knew the lyric. Uh, everybody knows the most popular phone number is 867-5309 !!!

Best Tour Ever

2011-11-24T22:15:00.003-05:00

At about 5:45pm my dispatcher tells me he's got a charter for me. That could mean anything, but he gives me the detail sheet. Jump in a van on 8th ave in Midtown, meet the driver, head over to the Essex House on Central Park South, and pick up six passengers for a four hour tour (actually took 3 hours).

Well the six passengers were a couple in their 70's, their two kids and a spouse (in their 40's), and a couple of grand-kids (maybe 5 and 8). This is all wide open... I got the van, a driver, and my clients... so I ask, "So what do you folks have in mind?"

"Well, we just want to drive around New York, head downtown, maybe see the Statue of Liberty. I don't know, you tell us."

"OK, we can do that. So where are you from?"

After a bit of conversation, and the ice breaks, I hear from the older folks "If possible, could we maybe take a detour into Brooklyn? You see, my wife an I were both stationed here in New York City 51 years ago... over in the Brooklyn Navy Yards. I was in the Marines, she was in the Navy. We lived here in New York for two years, and we got married here... 51 years ago. We'd like to go past the place and see what's still there."

Kept my composure, and just smiled and said "Yes sir, I think we can do that for you."

Gave them the grand tour down 5th Avenue, the New York Public Library, Lord and Taylor w/ the window displays up, Cartier wrapped up like a Christmas Package... THANK YOU CHRISTMAS for coming so early !!! Pull out all my best stories, answer questions, then over the Manhattan Bridge, see the Brooklyn Bridge, The Statue of Liberty, etc.

Then off to find the Navy Yards... not hard, it's just off Navy Street. (go figure)

"Look honey, remember... that was my post, right there. Look, that's where I stayed... where was your place. Oh yeah, right down the street, over there...WOW. OMG, such memories!!!"

Next he starts schooling me on the receiving station, the different functions going on in the different buildings... "carpentry over there, welding over there..."

He's telling me about how he and his seven buddies would go into Chinatown in Manhattan and order enough food for 20 people. How they never had to pay for a drink when they were in uniform... and how they took advantage of that fact. How they knew the bar which didn't exactly "close" but would just lock their door for an hour or so at 4am. (I said "come up to Inwood some time.")

Back through Brooklyn Heights... "Hey, that's where I had to go to get my marriage license."

Finally back to Manhattan and daughter asks for Nolita... well luckily I had done my walking tours and taken all those photos... I took them by the old Police Station (that AMAZING one), and then down some streets where we could peek into the windows and catch a glimpse the LOFT apartments done up with chandeliers and bookcases.

OK, I knew we had to go past The Intrepid (lots of oohs and ahhs), and as I'm about to take them back home, I get "My daughter wants to see the New Years Ball."

Sooo down 7th Avenue... they were amazed with the flashing lights... how it was like daylight in Times Square. The old guy tells me that he was IN Times Square on New Years Eve in the early 60's... how he (standing at 6'2") was held up by the crowds, his feet not touching the floor... just one hand on his wallet the whole time.

End of the trip, "Thanks Kevin, that was PERFECT. Thanks for bringing back some great memories."

"The pleasure was all mine. I'm glad I could be part of this experience."

Oh, and the commemorative picture of Benjamin Franklin they gave me was a nice touch. :)

Maiden Voyage

2011-05-06T22:49:00.005-04:00

Arrrgggg me laddies, come and hear the tale of me maiden voyage... and how I narrowly avoided death, and lived to tell of it.

OK, wasn't really harrowing, but it was every bit as nerve racking as I thought it might be.

I'm supposed to show up at 3:25. I showed up early, had my notes on cards on a clip board for easy reference in case I got stuck, had my mic and my tip jar, got my license on display in my neck lanyard. I walk over to the only driver and I introduce myself, and he says I MIGHT be on his next bus, or maybe the next one. I should go talk to the dispatcher. Dispatcher is a thug-life home boy working his cell phone, doesn't seem to want to pay any attention to me. Eventually I get his attention and told him I was told to show up at 3:25. He says, "OK, I'll put you on the 3:40 tour. Wait over there." That gives me a good 15 minutes.

Stage fright is at it's max... I sort of want to just walk away and say "This was a stupid idea anyway." JUST THEN I got a text, from a girl I know who likes to send inspirational messages once in a while. I haven't heard from her in six months at least... she has no idea what I'm doing. It read something like "Face your fears, do something new and exciting, be with new people today..."

Not two seconds later, the dispatcher says, "OK, I gotta use you RIGHT NOW... that's your bus."

It's already loaded w/ people. That's not supposed to happen. You're supposed to talk to them while they're standing on line, ask where they're from, how are they enjoying NYC, etc. Then you go up and test your mic, set up your tip jar, come back down and check tickets as you welcome each individual onto the bus.

Nope! I look at the preferred place to plug in the mic, at the seat near the top of the stairs... and there's nothing but a hole in the metal. So I run up to the front of the bus, as far away from the stairs as possible. Takes me almost a whole minute to get the mic chord plugged into the jack which is mounted at a weird angle. Meanwhile, the bus starts to move.

So as soon as I get a sound out of the mic, I just go for it. I channel every WWE wrestler, every Rock Star, everybody who has ever successfully worked a mic... and I just start... "Hello, and WELCOME TO NEW YORK CITY... we start today's tour in the Theater District as we head uptown... There are 40 theaters in New York City that qualify as 'Broadway Theaters'..." The notes never made it out of my backpack.

At each stop I announce, "So does anybody want to HOP OFF at the next stop..." Nobody got off the whole time. So either they liked what they were hearing, and wanted to hear more... or I wasn't selling the sites convincingly. I'm just gonna assume they liked what they were hearing.

Two hours later, after a lot of stuttering and stammering, flubbing a few facts here and there, searching for words that just didn't come... we pulled back into Time's Square. These folks got to see the Theater District, Columbus Circle, Lincoln Center, Central Park West, The Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Columbia University, Riverside Church, Grant's Tomb, The George Washington Bridge, HARLEM, Museum Mile (5th Avenue along Central Park), Grand Army Plaza (lower corner of Central Park), Central Park South, Carnegie Hall, and back to Times Square.

After splitting the tips with the driver, 50/50, I had enough to buy my fruit for the week with a couple of dollars left over. I get on the schedule in a day or two and should get 3 or 4 tours in a day. Not gonna get rich, but I said all along, this is the entry level. I'll do this through the summer while I begin networking and start building a repertoire of my own walking tours. Apparently with the right marketing, and the right product, a good guide can make a very comfortable living in this city.

Bill Cunningham New York Hero

2011-04-07T13:56:00.002-04:00

Well maybe "hero" is a bit strong. But this guy is an awesome character. Yesterday I went down to the Film Forum and caught the biography on him "Bill Cunningham New York".
Wiki

He's the most happy-go-lucky guy in the world. He's a fashion photographer and columnist for the New York Times. He's known for just wandering the streets of NYC all day, snapping pictures of people and spotting fashion trends. He's been at it since the late 60s.

The high end fashion world would all KILL to have their gear appear in his weekly column. They are continuously offering him HUGE sacks of cash, perks, wine/women/song... all the luxuries that so many people dream of. The kind of luxuries that go on in the upper floors and private clubs in NYC, that most mortal people just don't get to see. But he has NO DESIRE for any of that. While working the biggest and most extravagant events, he won't eat or drink anything... not so much as a glass of water. He'll eat in a deli or diner before hand... loves the $3 bacon and egg sandwiches and coffee.

It's actually kind of weird... it really is an obsession with this guy. He spends all day every day snapping photos, and editing them together for his weekly column, except for about an hour on Sundays when he goes to church. Not married, never ever dated... just had no time for any of that. Is not gay, claims he has normal physical cravings like everybody else, but just doesn't have time for romance.

For most of his career, and while they shot this movie (last year some time), he lived in Carnegie Hall. Yes, that world famous concert hall one block south of Central Park. Sounds like a pretty expensive and extravagant place to live, right?

Well at one time, Carnegie Hall had large and small studios for rent. Dance groups and choreographers, photographers, and fashion designers took up space in there... with a separate entrance, right next to the main entrance to the hall. The musical Oklahoma was choreographed in there, to give you an idea of how big some of the studios must have been. He started there as a millinery (hat designer) in a tiny little one-room on the corner... and he never left. During the filming of this documentary, it was loaded with nothing but file cabinets, and a makeshift bed... a board and a mattress propped up on four masonry blocks, with books stored underneath. The only other things in this "studio apartment" are file cabinets and loads of books stacked up all over the place, and room for his Schwinn bicycle... his 29th Schwinn... the other 28 were all stolen.

His few clothes were on hangers hung off the handles of his filing cabinets. Sometimes he'd have to move a couple of hangers to get to a particular drawer to pull out negatives of a photo shoot he was looking for.

The bathroom and shower were in the hallway outside his studio, shared with other tenants. There was no kitchen. It was rent controlled.

He spends most of his time on the streets of NYC, at fashion shows, or working at social and fund-raising events.

Or he's in his area in the New York Times building (the big new one). His area consists of a block of a few cubicals, one of those light tables so he can view negatives, a computer where mostly he arranges the layouts for his weekly column (his assistant does the actual mousing of the layout, cropping, pasting, etc... while he says "No, don't cut off her arms... they're the most beautiful arms in New York...")

Carnegie Hall (owned by the City of New York, apparently) is run by a management company who decided they wanted to evict the 3 people left in the building who still called this their residence. They found comparable (or "better") accommodations for these tenants, in the area (i.e. ON Central park w/ views and a kitchen, bathroom, and closet). They show him going through a couple of places w/ the agent and he's like "Why do I need a kitchen? Just something more to clean. What would I PUT in that closet anyway?"

Apparently Carnegie Hall split up the studios (not his, his was TINY) into Telemarketing offices and cubical farms for businesses.

So anyway, over the years this guy has developed friendships with some of the most wealthy and influential people in the world, notably "Lady Astor" the 90-ish heir of the Astor fortune. Publishers, politicians, designers, philanthropists... he knows them all. Apparently The New York Times pays him a very decent salary. He took on some side jobs as well, most notably his work with Details Magazine starting in the early 80s (now defunct). However, he refused to take any money from Details. The first check Details offered him, he went in to his boss (the publisher) and ripped it up. He didn't want them to "own" him or influence him in any way. His attitude was "take my work as it is, or don't... but don't ever tell me what to do". They were known to publish 100+ page issues, featuring up and coming designers who nobody had yet heard of... apparently that's an unheard of number of pages for a magazine. They said that this magazine got bought out by another, and is now part of the Conde Naste empire (just down the street from NY Times building)... he didn't accept his share of the buyout either. Conde still sends a letter now and then telling him they have a check for him.

He quit working for another high profile magazine when they used his work against his intent. He did a column featuring shots of high end fashion on runway models at the fashion shows, and then the same clothing on people he saw randomly walking down the street. The magazine used unflattering captions for the "common" people. This was 100% opposite his philosophy, that fashion was ALL ABOUT what the common person wears on the street.

There's a great scene in the movie where he's in the crowd outside one of the biggest fashion events in Paris, and he's showing his press ID to the young chick at the gate... with a THRONG of people trying to get in, or at least snap a photo of people who ARE getting in. One guy behind the velvet rope reached passed this young girl and took him by the arm and escorted him in, while telling the girl "This is the most important man in the UNIVERSE right now."

He was honored in Paris for his work, and at the gala event he spent the whole night like he does every other night... snapping photos of the guests. He tells the promoters of events, "Don't even send me a guest list. I don't care if you have celebrities or royalty there. If I like the charity, I'll show up and your event will be featured in the NY Times. I don't CARE about who is in the dress, I'll find a good fashion layout at any event... or even better, in the street outside."

He is also noted for calling BS when he sees it. He's gone into his archive and published (in The Times) side by sides of some "new" designer's work, right next to something 30 years old... embarrassingly similar.

He also published some shots of models many years later, who he randomly caught on the streets of New York, in almost the exact same poses (just naturally occurring) that appeared 30 years earlier on the covers of magazines... such as a woman stepping over a puddle.

While the credits are rolling at the end, they flash a note saying that he signed a lease for a new apartment and is moving in this month.

Rich Dad, Poor Wilk

2011-03-10T00:20:00.001-05:00

Ever watch an entire half hour late night infomercial? How about one that lasts more than an hour? I knew what I was getting into, but I went anyway... and I regret it just the same.

Talk about Bait and Switch, the Rich Dad Poor Dad guy, Robert whatever his name is, wasn't even there. It was HIS product they were selling, but he wasn't there. We got a pitchman who could have just as well been selling knives or vacuum cleaners or crazy glue.

Don't get me wrong, he was EXCELLENT at what he does. I have seldom seen or heard a sales pitch so well crafted. And this guy was one of the guys who could talk SUPER FAST when he wanted to... like an auctioneer. They hit every one of the psychological buttons... they said every thing EXCEPT "act now, don't delay". Well they really DID say that, many many times... but not that exact phrase.

They actually went into a big thing about "What's the difference between the rich and to poor..." and one of the big points that they kept coming back to was "The rich TAKE ACTION !" And when it came time to reveal the big pitch, it was accompanied by "Take Action".

It was all well and good, with they guy trying to "make it fun... let's have fun with this... boy you guys are grumpy today... hey, this side of the room is louder than THAT side" ... trying to stir up audience participation... just like they do late night. (Host: "set it ..." Audience: "... and forget it!" accompanied by a big round of applause, by the audience, for the audience, because they can say the phrase "and forget it".)

BTW: this was the same routine Joe Hayes used to do at the Children's Theater down at Long Beach Island. "Hi boys and girls!! ... WHAT??? I can't HEAR YOU !!!"

I also saw this technique spelled out in a "How to do children's parties" guide for magicians.

I also saw Paul Stanley do this at a Kiss Concert.

So remember, the whole idea was that he was going to show us how to make money in the stock market, even when stocks are going down... or sideways. I'll jump ahead and tell you... what he was ACTUALLY going to show you how to register for a three day training session, including the study kit (in the limited edition yellow canvas bag), all for the low low price of $200. But wait... since you showed up, if you sign up today before you leave this room, we'll let you bring a guest with you to the three day session.

Truth is, this was really a pretty good deal. You got a couple of booklets on trading techniques, Robert's latest book Prophesy, the software CD (Mach Trader) which scans the market data in real time and gives you the charts and lists of stocks that meet your criteria, and one month free data feed from E-Signal (thereafter $45 per month, no contract, pay as you go)... and three days of training, for you and a friend. I suppose there might be more "opportunities" at the end of those 3 days (at a fee, of course).

It was all pretty light and upbeat, but at one point just before the big pitch, I SWEAR I saw horns grow out of this guy's head... in the name of Jesus! He was trying to impress upon us that he was not going to tell a lie, and that he would be accountable for what he was about to say... then went into this schpeel about how he attends a house of worship in his home town, based on a book 2000 years old, which gives the moral standards by which people have lived successful lives for all those years... all in his super fast pace. I heard some of the black ladies in the audience going into Gospel mode ("uh huh... you know it..."). He went on "... I'm accountable to my spouse and my community... we don't just want a good marriage, we want a GREAT marriage..." Apparently well chosen, because he was getting more "oh yea's" from the "congregation".

He also dragged out the America is the greatest country in the world, the most fertile green ground for investments... do you BELIEVE in America? Do you stand behind those men and women laying down their lives to protect our freedom?

Then finally the pitch... what you get, how much does it cost... act now and take a GUEST with you free... that DOUBLE's your value... bring your spouse and get TWICE the income into your home. Now this offer is only available at this price because you are HERE IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW. Call tomorrow, and the same offer over the phone will be $600.

Then he asks "How many are ready to sign up right now... cuz I'm gonna go on for another 90 minutes or however long it takes to go through as many of the investment techniques as I can... but let me first count who is ready to sign up RIGHT NOW.... 1, 2, 3..." (up to like 45) Then says, "while I start going into the details up here, how about all those who raised your hands go RIGHT TO THE BACK AND SIGN UP RIGHT NOW..."

So a ton of people head back to the tables in back, big ruckus in the room from this flurry of activity... and he says, for those of you who are NOT taking ACTION... I'll continue. Then he started to speak EVEN FASTER, being partially drowned out by the noisy room. Started showing the slides of searches you could do with the software, showed that if you looked at their MACD chart over time (that shows the "change in momentum") and bought and sold and shorted according to their method (as opposed to buying and holding)... making 5 transactions in APPLE in six months would have yielded a 26% gain, as opposed to a net loss. Then he paused and says "To those of you who DIDN'T take action... look behind you... you are now BEHIND all of those people. You have to stand in line and wait for THEM..." Then back to some more charts and slides.

Now, for those who never saw or heard "Rich Dad Poor Dad", the basic concept is to know the difference between assets and liabilities. Your HOME is not an asset, but a 2nd home which has a positive cash flow because you RENT it out... that's an asset. So he keeps going back to the "is this an asset or a liability..." game. He put up X-Box, and switched into "hellfire and tarnation" guy.... "it's a TOY for you CHILDREN, not for gown adults busy making money... and it teaches your children to be desensitized, to steal cars, to have their way with prostitutes, to sell crack, and to be lazy..." Then he puts up Education, Information, Knowledge, Financial Training... each going into the ASSET column... and finally he puts up Mach Trader for $200 in the Asset column.

He went back to more slides, but by then I'd had enough.

I did get my 5 gram block of 99.9% pure silver, in a soft pouch... and that's what I was really there for... the pouch.

Latest run in with New York City Beuracracy

2011-02-14T00:14:00.005-05:00

Life with a car in NYC... you get tickets... it happens. OK, probably not to EVERYBODY, but it happens to me. I'm not making excuses, I take responsibility for my actions. I was putting off dealing with three tickets for far too long, and I finally decided to take the trip down to John Street to take care of them.

Clearly I put of the first one too long, as it was already "in judgment". Now there's a phrase you don't get to use very often... "in judgment"... but more on that later.

So by this point, I've been down this road once or twice before. I know the procedure, I know the terminology, I speak English, I'm a fairly well educated person... I should be able to usher this process along at maximum efficiency, right? Riiiight !!!

Here's the basic flow chart...
step 1) go to main information desk, get form to fill out and get number
step 2) sit in seats and watch board until your number assigns you to a bulletproof glass window
step 3) go to bulletproof glass window, hand them your form, and they print out your rap sheet.
(forget what it's really called, but it used to be listed out on ultra-thin fan-fold tractor-feed dot-matrix printout... now there's an image of each ticket, on heavy stock paper, one per 8.5x11 sheet)
step 4) take said rap sheet and head over to adjudicator area, have a seat, wait for your number
step 5) show rap sheet to adjudicator and see what they offer you... likely each offense will get steep reduction in fine
step 6) decide if you want to contest any of the offense
IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO CONTEST ANY, PROCEED TO STEP 9
step 7) proceed around the corner and wait for the next available judge
step 8) hand the judge your paperwork, swear in, state your name, sign in, plead your case, hope for the best. He can only dismiss the offense, or find you guilty in which case you are obliged to pay the full fine (not the reduced fine offered by the adjudicator)
step 9) proceed back to bullet proof glass area, to the cashiers in the back, and pay fine
step 10) get out of Dodge

Simple as pie, right? Riiiight !!!

Must have picked the right day and time (was there early in the morning), place was pretty empty. Front info desk had no line, smiles and courtesy from the workers, and ZERO wait time when my number was up right away. Yeee-hah, this is gonna be a breeze.

At bulletproof glass where I hand over my form. Woman takes my form and then looks at me. I wait. She waits. I wait.
She says, "What would you like to do?"
I give her my best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "I believe I have some outstanding tickets. I'd like to take care of them today."
She says, "You would like printouts of your tickets?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Which ones?"
I give her my 2nd best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "Since I'm here, I'd like to take care of all of them today."
She says,"You want printouts of all of them?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Can I see your license?"
I hand her my license, and she scans it in the electric beam. Then prints out two tickets, and a third sheet that lists all three offenses, one of which says "in judgment". Then takes out a PEN. Yes, a blue ball point ink PEN, and writes a series of numbers along the top of the page, which she is copying from the computer screen.

Can I repeat that for emphasis... after scanning my license with an electronic scanner, printing out two tickets ad a rap sheet, she WRITES a long series of numbers along the top of the rap sheet... numbers she's READING from the computer screen.

She hands me the stack, including the original form and my license, and asks "Is there anything else?"
I say, "No thank you. Now where do I go?"
Mind you, I don't know WHAT ELSE she could possibly do for me... I don't know what else she DOES there... as far as I can tell, that's ALL she does there, all day. And I DID know where to go, but I wanted to be sure we were all in agreement, and honestly, I wanted her to do her f'n job and direct the people towards the next stage.
She says, "Over that way to the adjudicator and wait for you number to come up."

So I head over to adjudicator, have a seat, and wait for my number to come up. Meanwhile two people come after me, and go right up to the desk, and the adjudicator deals with them. OK, apparently they DON'T go by the numbers at this point. I did notice that she directed both of those people around the side to go see the judges.

I approach the adjudicator, and say "I'm not sure if I should come right to you or wait for my number."
She says "It's fine, what do you have?"
I say "I just got my printout, and I'd like to adjudicate these tickets and fines."
She says "Go around and wait for the judge."

Hmmmm... that's not right. I'm pretty sure she's supposed to go through the papers and offer me a reduction. But I'm gonna play this there way, and see where it brings me. I go around and wait a few minutes for the next judge.

Nice guy... funny guy... comments on my ski lift tickets... (note to self, don't wear lift tickets next time, just in case I want to plead poverty, or insanity or something). He takes my paper work, I sign the electronic sign in gizmo, swear in, and he starts to type the hand written number into his computer. Tries it a few times, hands it back to me and says "read off that number to me"

I read it back slowly and accurately, and he says "Yeah, that's what I got... it's not working... go back and tell them that the number doesn't work. Come back to me if I'm around... or any of the other judges."

Yup, the one hand written part of the procedure... and the FUCKED it up !!!!

I go back to the same window, now waiting behind a lady who is yelling that she needs a copy of a ticket that they don't have for her. Eventually I get back there and say "The judge sent me back. This number is not right. It doesn't work." She punches around for a minute, crosses it out and writes it back again... this time with the digit she forgot to write... but it was still sloppy, so she wrote it out yet again.

Back to the same judge, have a good laugh about the missing digit, and he says "I see you have three tickets, but only two are coming up under this number. The third is in judgment. I could hear your case about the one in judgment, but not now, not under this number. You'll have to go back there and get another number for that one. So let's deal with these two. What's going on..."

I say "I'm kind of confused, I was going to just have these adjudicated."
He says, "So what are you doing here, you should have done that out at the desk."
I said, "I told them that's what I wanted to do... they sent me back here."
He said, "Well, let's look at this anyway... hmmm, ok, How about this... you'll still come out ahead... I'll just waive one ticket, find you guilty of the other, and that will be less than the adjudicated fines would have been."
I say, "Fair enough."
He says, "Then you can get back to the ski slopes, with your rosignol skis, and your salomon boots, and your SNS bindings, and be like Glen Plake... and starts prattling off half a dozen other ski terms."
I ask about the other ticket. He says that I can go get another number for that ticket, but I better have a good reason why I didn't pay it... like I was in Afghanistan fighting terrorists at the time, or something like that... otherwise the judgment will stand. "In Judgment" means that I was already found guilty.

Like I said, no excuses, I head over to the cashier and hand him all the paperwork. He looks at me, I look at him, he looks at me and says "So what do you want to do?"
I say, "I'd like to pay these fines, there are two of them... one of them was dismissed."
He says, "You can't just SAY THAT, you have to prove it."
I say, "How should I prove it?"
He says, "Show me what the judge gave you."
I point to the stack of papers that are in his hand.
He says begrudgingly, "Oh, ok... let me look... hmm... yes... ok... well, according to this, you had three fines, one was dismissed. What would you like to pay?"
I said, "I'd like to pay the two fines that I owe, and not pay the one that was dismissed."
He says, "Hmmm.. oh, ok. So where's the bill?"
I say, "I don't know."
He says, "They were supposed to give you a bill?"
I say, "Who was supposed to give me a bill?"
He says, "I don't know... the judge?... ahh, it doesn't matter..."
He then punches it into a glorified adding machine, and reads off the ribbon receipt $237.45. I pay cash and he pulls the change from an old school wooden money drawer. Punches something into a computer, and gets a printout that shows that I paid both fines.

Step 10... GET OUT OF DODGE.

Rally to restore Sanity

2010-11-01T10:59:00.008-04:00

... or March to Keep Fear Alive.

So the event was a success. Apparently there were more than 200,000 people in attendance. I got to Citi-Field at about 6am to find thousands of people and hundreds of buses lined up. I jumped the line a few times and got on to a bus by about 8am. After flying down the NJ Turnpike, we came to a slow crawl through Delaware, Baltimore, and then into Washington. Then we came to a clusterfuck at the Metro station, so I walked the 2.5 miles to the mall.

By then it was after 1pm, and the rally was already on for more than an hour. On the bus, people were breaking out their iPad and iPhones and streaming the feed off Comedy Central. Somebody on the bus passed up their speaker to plug into the iPad so more of us could hear. We heard The Roots play and saw The Myth Busters attempt to start an earthquake.

The mall and the surrounding areas were jam packed with groovy people from all walks of life. Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves, being pleasant and not angry. There were a few signs from some left wing wackos, including a 9/11 Truther, some people advocating socialized medicine (not mincing words, owning up to the term "socialism"), and lots of anti-Tea Party jabs (making fun of Sarah Pallen and Christine O'Donnel). But mostly they were signs geared towards the intent of the rally, to promote cooperation and to lighten up a bit.

There were absolutely no political endorsements from the podium. It was mostly an extended Daily Show and Colbert Report, followed by a speech by John Stewart. The main thrust of the speech was to raise awareness as to the danger of the 24 hour news cycle as seen on the cable TV news networks. This is not a new theme for Stewart, it's essentially the same message he was preaching years ago when they had him on Crossfire.

His big metaphor was how cars merge on the highway when entering a tunnel. Even though people are from every political slant, and every walk of life... they still work together allowing each other to get down to two lanes and get to the light at the end of the tunnel, even if that light is not Paradise, but is only New Jersey. He said that the American People work together in harmony and peace "every damn day". Only in Washington and on the cable news stations do you find the jerks who ride up the shoulder and try to cut people off. The rest of us are willing to say "You go, then I'll go... you go, then I'll go..."

And yes, I DO feel a bit guilty about jumping the line to get on the bus.

The trip took 4.5 hours down, and 6 freaking hours back. All that for about an hour and a half of actual on-stage entertainment at the rally, plus a nice walk around the mall snapping pictures of the funny costumes and signs, and the hike back across town to RFK stadium to catch the bus back home.

Was well worth the effort, though if I had to do it again I would seriously consider booking a hotel and taking the train. Much thanks to Arianna Huffington and the Huffington Post for paying for the hundreds of buses and getting us there safe and sound at no cost. She was there at Citi Field at 6am, and I have a picture to prove it. If I was more on the ball, I could have gotten my picture with her. She was with an entourage, but was accessible and able to talk to people and take photos. Not that she is an A-list celebrity, but she is pretty famous, did pay for all the buses, and didn't HAVE to be there in person.

Exploring Mercury with The Messenger Spacecraft

2010-07-27T10:01:00.003-04:00

Wow, what a great experience last night. It was so refreshing to be in the presence of highly intelligent, competent, enthusiastic people pursuing science for it's own sake, attempting to discover the secrets of the universe by reaching beyond our own planet and into the inner edge of our solar system. Sean Solomon is a role model for all human beings.

Here are a few things I learned...

- A while ago, NASA approved nine big ticket projects collectively known as the Discovery Program, one of which was the Rovers on Mars. One of which was the space craft called "Messenger" which is tasked with achieving orbit around Mercury and gathering data.

- the last space ship sent to explore Mercury was many years ago. It was a straight shot from Earth towards Mercury. Late in the project a European mathematician explained how it would be possible for them to actually loop around Mercury so they could get two whole passes at the planet before it fell into the sun (or smashed on the planet's surface... wasn't clear what it's fate was). This flight took about 6 or 8 months of travel.

- To achieve a true orbit around Mercury, Messenger needs to be launched at a high speed (just to get off the earth, then to not get sucked into the sun, etc). Then it has to decelerate at 100Km/s... not mile per hour or meters per second, but Km per second... that's a daunting amount of deceleration. It can't be done practically with thrusters. So they chose to use a more elegant solution. The ship first circled the Earth, twice, decelerating on each pass. Then it circled Venus, twice, decelerating again each pass. Then it circled Mercury once, decelerating yet again... and started to send us data on Mercury at that time. In approximately 6 months time, the Mercury Orbit Insertion will be attempted, and if all goes well, it will remain in orbit around Mercury for several years until they run out of propellant needed to make the fine adjustments. At that time, the sun's gravity will influence the orbit and it will crash on the surface of Mercury.

- This circuitous journey is taking 6 years of travel time.

- The mission is funded for one year after the insertion date, and they hope to be extended for some time after that if the data collection is going well.

- Right now they expect to get as close as 200 Km away from the surface of the planet. They hope, towards the end, to attempt to get even closer.

- The ship had to be designed to deal with the extreme heat. Thanks to a ceramic curtain on one side, the craft will exceed 700 degrees Fahrenheit on one side facing the sun and will remain at room temperature on the other side facing Mercury. That's where the electronics and data gathering equipment (the payload) reside.

- This payload consists of about 12 devices including a high resolution camera, a magnetometer, several spectrometers, and a few things I won't remember... but sound really really cool.

- From the one spin around the planet, we have already gathered an immense amount of data including high res images (as in, this is what you would really see with your eyes if you were there), maps of the small magnetic field, composition of the atmosphere (not technically called an atmosphere as it is not dense enough... the atoms contained don't interact and are unaware of each other's presence... similar to the outer edge of Earth's atmosphere), maps of elements from the solar wind as it passes around Mercury, mineral distribution on the surface, maps of volatile compounds being emitted from the planet, evidence of volcanic activity as seen by huge impact craters that seem to be filling themselves in over time (billions of years) and even pouring over their edges, various topographical features indicating tectonic activity...

- We are going to learn a hell of a lot about planets in general, and Mercury in particular over the next couple of years.

- When you gather amazing people from many different disciplines in science, you can do mind-bendingly amazing things.

- This is a great time to be alive.

Across The Universe

2010-02-18T15:17:00.004-05:00

Picked this up cheap on Blu-Ray at Costco. I saw some clips on YouTube and figured it was worth watching. I will give it a "should see", especially to music fans, pop culture fans, 1960's gurus, film enthusiasts, and lovers of choreography. For Beatles fans, this is a "must see"... though any true Beatles fan has already seen it, and doesn't need me to tell you that. I would put this as a modern version of the movie "Hair", but with all the music selected from The Beatles' extensive catalog.

The original Broadway play "Hair" did not have contain a narrative, but was a collage of songs, dances, and essays; the movie took those elements and wrapped them loosely around a plot. This is essentially what happens in "Across the Universe". A group of characters meet up and interact as music and dance occurs around them, sometimes occurring within the reality of the movie (such as performances by Sexy Sadie), but more often in typical musical fashion where they just break into song and dance as the plot is revealed.

This is certainly a quality production on many levels. The dancing and singing is quite good, the camera work is very imaginative, the choreography is also innovative and well executed. The script contains uncountable references to Beatles lyrics on top of the fact that all the characters take their names from Beatles tunes. There are also infinite references to various pop culture icons and events of the era. Of course the War in Vietnam is a central theme, the burning of draft cards, Yippies marching in the streets with analogous characters to Abbie Hoffman and other real life people, a scene from an "Electric Cool-Aid" party where you can see a Gerry Garcia-like character, an Allen Ginsberg, and many others.

Oddly enough, though certainly a conscious effort, there are many drug references yet the characters do not themselves partake. They mime smoking weed, but say things like "I don't even smoke". They do, however, drink beer.

The movie is speckled with well known celebrities such as Joe Cocker, Bono and Eddie Izzard (Brit comedian).

There are some anachronistic elements, such as musical interpretations that just didn't exist back then... like a bit of heavy punk-ish sounds, and general singing styles that didn't come into popularity until much later. But this is not really a problem as this is not a historical piece, it is a modern interpretation of the 60's era.

Lots of "making of" features on the Blu-Ray, director's commentary, detailed commentary on the correography, and all that good stuff. This works pretty well as a movie, and pretty well as a video album.

I recommend experiencing this one through a good audio system. I'm not sure it would hold up over plain old TV speakers. Swing on by if you want to have a look.

Bizarre occurance on my way to Florida

2010-02-09T15:12:00.003-05:00

Finally got around to writing this one up...

So I guess I bit off a bit more than I could chew on my trip to Florida at the end of January. I was leaving on a flight from McArthur Airport on Wednesday at 4:10. So in the best of all worlds, I should have been at the airport at 2:10. But I had noticed that the registration on my car was about to expire, and since I had recently changed license plates, I really wanted to go to DMV in person to be sure all went smoothly. How long could it POSSIBLY take to get my car registered anyway? Half an hour? Forty minutes? An hour? OK, so I budgeted a good hour and a half and gave myself some wiggle room on top of that. I was all packed and ready to go. Just had to get the reggie, and drive 45 minutes to an hour over to Islip.

At the Yonkers DMV I got my form and my "deli" ticket... I was number C706. Checking the light board I saw C660. OK, so I guess there were about 46 people in front of me. Or perhaps more than that, but 46 people in front of me who were there to register their cars? So I sit and wait... and wait... and I see that their are lots of other numbers being called, that begin with A, B, D, E, F, G, H, and I. Oh bloody hell... there could be NINE TIMES forty six people in front of me... and apparently there were. Two and a half hours later, they are up to C700, but I could not wait for one second longer. I would miss my flight. So I ran out of there as angry as a human could be, without actually killing somebody.

Mind you, I was sitting there ready to go with my license, old registration, insurance card, form, and debit card all in my nice little folder ready to just drop at the desk. I shouldn't have had to say a word, and the transaction should have taken about 5-7 minutes.

So out I ran, and headed towards Islip. My travel mate, Corey, assured me that McArthur Airport security is pretty lax, that the place is more like a bus terminal than an airport, and that it's quick to get in and out. Still, I was seriously pressed for time at this point. The plan all along was to leave my car at Corey's house, and have his wife Dom drop us off at the airport. On the way I called ahead and Corey was nervous... he said he's gonna have Dom drop him off at the airport, and then she could make a second trip with me if I got there in time. There was traffic on the Throg's Neck Bridge, but I made good time on the L.I.E. I pulled up to Dom and Corey's house as Dom was on her way back from her first trip. Five minutes later, I'm on my way to the airport, Dom laughing at me the whole time for being so predictably late.

Well I got to the airport a good 20 minutes before the plane was supposed to take off. Corey was right... curb side check-in was a breeze. I gave my bag and told him my name, and had my boarding pass printed up in seconds... keeping my backpack of electronics with me.

So now I'm doing the "Go OJ" through the airport up to security. HERE's where it gets weird.

So I come up to the security maze and pull out my wallet to get out my license. OMFG !!! My license NEVER leaves my wallet... where the HELL is my license ?!?!? Nooooooo... it's in the folder in the compartment of my car along with the DMV form and my insurance card.

So I guess that's it.. there's no way to get my ID in time to catch the flight... and BOY am I gonna hear it from Dom. So this TSA uniform guy sees the look of panic on my face and says "What's the matter son?" Mind you, he was about my age. So I say "I left my license in the car back at the house." He asks, "Well, what DO you have? You got a Costco card???" I simply don't believe he just said that. It's just too surreal to believe. I said "Yeah I have a Costco card... I got credit cards... got a New Jersey boating safety certificate (stamped with the State of NJ seal), etc..."

He looks at my stuff and grills me for about a minute... "You live in New York but your boating certificate if from NJ?? Where are you going anyway? What for? When will you be back???" Apparently I did OK and he could tell that I was not a sweating stammering underwear bomber... though I was nervous as hell and completely upset with myself.

He said "OK, I'm convinced that you are who you say you are. Let me sign off on this boarding pass" as he scribbles with his pen. He said "I don't know what will happen on the other side when you make the return trip, though." He then unhooks the velvet rope and lets me to the front of the line for security check. I unload all my gear into bins, zip through the check point, pack up my gear, and head to the gate.

I still can't believe it happened. I meet up w/ Corey and Ant and we still have 15 minutes before the plane starts to board. I'm totally convinced that any second somebody is gonna come by and say "Would you step over here sir..." but it never happened. In fact, once on the plane, the 4:10 flight actually was IN THE AIR at 4:13. I said "What happened to the 45 minute approach to the runway?" Corey assured me that that NEVER happens at McArthur.

Eventually after a few minutes in the air I finally convinced myself that this was not a dream, ant that this actually happened. BTW: Dom overnighted my license to me. And it's a good thing she did, because there was NO WAY I could have gotten through Tampa airport without it... never mind the obvious fact that this COULD NOT happen at LGA or JFK.

The Saga Continues

2010-01-20T15:12:00.007-05:00

So yesterday I went to take care of the Manhattan leg of my car ticket woes. Already took care of Yonkers last week. I was enlightened, disgusted, relieved, and befuddled.

Quick recap (not posted on this blog, sorry)... my front license plate had been missing, and I got a few tickets before I realized it was gone, and another after I got new plates, but before I could get the front plate mounted on my bumper. Had one Spanish guy at the local auto parts store try to screw it into my metal bumper and then had to attempt to explain that he would actually need a drill to do it because the bumper is not plastic. Finally got J and Tray's guy in Riverdale to do it.

So the plan was to plead to the judge that I got four tickets for the same offense, tried hard to get it fixed as soon as possible, and made all attempts to rectify the situation. So the day before, I checked online to see if there was any info I might be able to use to make my case. HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER !!! There were SEVEN additional tickets that I didn't know about. I had almost $1000 of outstanding fines. I'm AMAZED my car had not been towed. I immediately brought the car to the parking garage so the sharks w/ the tow trucks didn't scoop me up. All these tickets were BEFORE the first ticket I had ever seen for the missing plate... they were parking IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, double parking, alternate side parking, missing registration and inspection, and missing front plate. HUH? I didn't do any of those things... except missing front plate. Further scrutiny of the tickets (immaged online) and I saw the vehicle description... Blue Ford Pickup !!! I drive a BLACK JEEP !!! Now it all makes sense. Bucci called it right away, though it never occurred to me... somebody either swiped my plate off my car, or off the ground, and slapped it on the back of his unregistered vehicle and parked wherever he felt like parking. I wish I checked the vehicle description on my Yonkers tickets... wish the judge bothered to look too. Some of the NYC tix had a note saying VIN not visible, but two of them had a VIN listed which was NOT mine.

OK, so here's where it gets weird. Down at 66 John Street to the NYC department of finance where you can adjudicate your tickets and pay your fines. First step they send you to a window to get a printout of all your tickets. Next you go to the waiting area where you read the posters which detail the procedure. You have TWO CHOICES. First you go to a clerk, not a judge, and (s)he will automatically offer you a significant reduction of your fines (for most offenses). Then you can choose to take this reduced fine, OR go see the judge. The judge is not allowed to reduce the fines. He can dismiss the ticket or uphold the ticket. It's an actual gamble that you are taking.

So, before I get to the clerk/judge, there's the incompetent lady. She's got the clip board, calls the numbers, ushers people into seats where you wait for the clerk. She tells me, "fill out this form, go down this hall and have a seat". I ask politely if there is a pen I could use (my fault, I shouldn't go anywhere... especially court... without a pen). She assures me there's a clip board down the hall. So I walk a few feet to the end of the hall and there are chairs on both sides. I take a seat as she walks past me and wanders further down the hall. I spot the clipboard, stand up to get it, am walking back to my seat while fitting my form into the clipboard. She starts to berate me... "Sir, PLEASE have a seat. There's no reason for you to be standing up." I sit down and start to fill out the form. She says "So you're going to see the judge?" I say, "Yes, I intend to. But first I'd like to see what the reduced fine is." (This was spelled out clearly on the posters) Incompetent lady then says "No, you already gave up that choice." I calmly said "I'm sorry, but I didn't make any such choice." She said "But you're sitting on this side of the hall, that means you chose to see the judge." I said, "No, I sat where you told me to, and have not many any choices yet. I'd like to see what my reduced fines will be." She said "Then why are you on THIS SIDE... you should be on THAT side." (she points to seats three feat away on the other side of the narrow hall). "OK, thanks, I'll sit there then."

Clerk calls "NEXT", and I go talk to her. She's a little better, but still seemed befuddled by the task of doing exactly what she's been doing all day, every day, for God knows how long. Seemed like a novelty that she had to go through a pile of copies of tickets, and check them off, and figure out what the reduction would be. I told her that I was planning on seeing the judge about the first 7 tickets... she said "Which are the first seven?" I said, "you see that form on top that lists my 11 tickets? The first seven on that list are the first seven tickets." Oddly enough, she seemed incapable of looking through a stack of papers without spreading them out haphazardly on her desk, and then stacking them back up in a random order. She did help me out, though. She noted that of the four tickets that actually seemed to be written for MY car, for an offense that was (arguably) my responsibility, that two of them were issued on the same day, so she waved that one right away. The reduced the other three from $95/$75/$75 down to $43 each. At that point I said, I'll take that deal and see the judge about the rest.

OK, now back out to the hall and sit on what I now know is the correct side. Incompetent lady is now ushering other people into seats. Mind you, she's supposed to put people in seats IN ORDER, because that's how they determine who is NEXT. She seats an Asian guy, who clearly has little capacity in English, on the correct side and he starts filling out his form. He says "Miss, can you please give me back my ticket." She says "Ticket? I don't have your ticket? How did you lose your ticket? I don't take nobody's ticket!!!" He talks to the Asian guy next to him, and he sayd "Miss, he says you took his ticket, and he needs it to show the clerk." She says "Oh wait... I DID take your ticket and I have no idea what I did with it." She wanders around aimlessly for a minute or two, then walks back to the front waiting area where the other girl working there says "Hey, you left this stuff here !!" She brings back his ticket.

Meanwhile, several people on my side have been called in to see the judge, so there are a couple of open seats. As incompetent lady ushers a few more people down the hall, they fill in the open seats, one of which was IN FRONT of me, others were in front of other people behind me. So she can't even seat people in the correct order, or keep track of people's documents... which is ALL she does ALL DAY.

OK, then judge calls me in to an office, swears me in, hears my story, looks at the tickets, believes me, and dismisses all seven tickets. We talk VERY briefly as he's printing out the documents for me... I can see things lightened up as soon as he decided I was not a liar or scammer. He asked if I called the police when I realized somebody was using my plates. I said I didn't figure it out until yesterday, but I figure as soon as I re-registered my care for the new plates, the old ones would raise a red flag for any police officer writing a ticket for the OLD plates. He laughed and said, "No, they just write the tickets. Nobody runs plates. You'd think writing a ticket for a vehicle with a missing plate, no registration, and no inspection, with the VIN covered up would be enough to have him call for it to be towed... wouldn't you?"

OK, yippie-ay-oh-kay-ay !!! I just saw $950 in fines turn into $130. Now all I have to do is pay. Over to the other side of the office and wait on fairly long line, but not TOO bad. I read carefully my paying options on the posters. Credit cards, debit cards, money orders, checks, cash... all good. In fact, one window kept yelling "anybody paying by check, please step up !!" I waited, since I was paying w/ debit. I get to the window, plunk down the paperwork and my debit and license. The guy in the window says "Sorry, we don't take VISA anymore." I said, "It's a debit, not a credit card." He said, "Yeah, but it's a VISA, and we don't accept them." (Now I'm getting mad) I said angrily "The sign says you take debit. It doesn't say anything about VISA. Where does it say that you don't take VISA." He said, "It doesn't, but that's the rules." I ask where there's a cash machine, he says "Outside the building and across the street." He was nice enough to offer that I come back to him without waiting on the line. (oh, and BTW there would have been a $3 PER TICKET fee for using debit... even though they swipe it ONCE, and there's ONE transaction, they somehow multiply the fee per ticket.)

OK, across the street, a bank of the super fast Citi-bank machines save me $6 since they only hit me for the one $3 fee. Back to the building where the front doors are LOCKED !!! Inside the glass doors I see velvet rope across all doors, and a sign saying "building closes at 4:30. I check my watch and see it's 4:10. Steam is now pouring out of my ears... but luckily a stranger who works there says "Don't worry, last door on the left is still open until 4:30. Thank god, or I might be in jail right now !!!!!

Back upstairs, pay my fine, and get the hell out of there ASAP. Hopefully I will never darken their doorstep again !!!

Phish at The Garden

2009-12-03T01:25:00.009-05:00

Let me get the Pimp/Whore business out of the way first...
http://www.ca.com/us/
Use Computer Associates for all your Information Technology needs.
(believe me, I'm not the Pimp in this scenario)

Now some of you know that I've sworn off Arena Rock and Stadium Shows this year. I made an exception for Paul McCartney at CitiField, and I don't regret it for a minute. I did, however, opt out of AC/DC as well as Metalica at The Garden... not an easy choice. But Phish is back together after something like a 10 year hiatus, and Dan K called me up out of the blue and said he had access to a Skybox... all on CA's dime. OK, I'm not made of stone. I'm in.

So I'm heading toward The Garden, and I'm getting just a little perturbed at the general rukus. Who the hell are all these johnny-come-lately hippies, who couldn't even find San Francisco on a map or wouldn't know Grace Slick if they bumped into her at a White House dinner. I'm noticing a lot of empty pint liquor bottles strewn around the street too. OK, I'm OLD. I know it.

Then as I push my way in towards The Garden's main entrance, I cut to the far left, as I've had the privilege to do only a few times before. I enter a glass doorway that most people see but don't realize is there. Suddenly the roar of the crowd is silenced. I hear some mellow music in the background. With uncertainty in my heart, and all the hope I can muster, I say to the worker at the desk "Ticket for Kevin Wilkinson?"... she checks and say's "Yes, here you go sir... enjoy the show. Take the escalator here, then the elevator to level 10."

OK, I've done this before... I breath a sigh of relief and I KNOW I'm in !!! The elevator has only two buttons... 3 (where I am) and 10 (the Mecca). A few seconds later I'm at 10.

Dan meets me at the elevator and we head over to CA's skybox. They have their logo bolted to the wall. Apparently they do a hell of a lot of business in New York. I meet the crew... best described as a bunch of stuffed shirts. OK, they're mostly nice guys just happy to be out of the house for the night, but for a Phish show these guys obviously just came from work and were lucky to lose the jacket and tie. Two guys were the head honchos... clearly in "Sales".

Now we've been busting Dan's balls for years now, ever since he first acknowledged himself as "Assistant Vice President of a Major New York Bank". But in this circle, that carries some juice. The CA sales guys were all "There's Dan K***"... "look, there's Dan, and he brought a friend..." I guess that major New York Bank paid for a good portion of that box.

So in comes hot trays of burgers, chicken fingers, pigs in a blanket, waffle fries, a couple of metal buckets full of beer on ice... and a bottle of Kettle One, some lemons, and a few liters of club soda. Yeah, I could get used to this. The actual seats of the Skybox were stage left (audience right), all the way up at the roof, but close enough along the edge that you could see the band very clearly... they weren't just ants. The sound was just PERFECT.

(Oh, and eventually the bottle of Kettle One was replaced by a second bottle when the first one was polished off.)

Sooooo... on with the show. I don't know Phish all that well. I saw them at Nassau Colosseum back in the 90s, I have their live double CD box set, listened to it a bunch one summer... I dig their free-form jam sound. Mostly high energy songs, each of the four players has their own groove going, and it all adds up to a cool amalgamated sound. They are definitely pigeon-holed into the Grateful Dead scene, and rightfully so... but they have their own sound. Tight, fun, interesting, unpredictable... somewhere between The Dead and The Allman Brothers, if you ask me. Metal heads, hip hoppers, stay away. This ain't for you. It's all rooted in the South Western and Southern Rock sound filtered through San Francisco Psychedelia with a bit of Jazz Fusion thrown in for flavor.

So as I posted on Facebook, they broke out into "Peaches en Regalia". It's an obscure Zappa tune that pops up in some of the most bizarre venues. The crowd seemed to pick up on it right away. The fist set went an hour-twenty, then a half hour intermission, followed by almost two hour second set, then an encore. The encore started with a ROCKING version of... get this... A Day in the Life. Wow... just wow.

Dan K had to run out to catch his train just before the end of the show. Me, I stuck around to enjoy a few Kettle One's w/ soda while the band played on. I thanked my gracious hosts from CA, but remember thinking to myself "Thanks for the good time... people I don't know and will never see again."

Big thanks to Dan K for the invite !!! Beats the hell out of whatever I was gonna do last night !!!

Of monkeys, planets, and tomatoes

2009-10-06T00:22:00.002-04:00

Just to flesh out something I started a few days ago, and oddly enough came up again in another e-mail. For some reason I mentioned that I don't like being told that there's a difference between apes and monkeys. I understand that there is a convention determined by some academic group or another, who determines which piles of animals we call monkeys, which we call apes, and which we call neither. And I'm sure that since I was a young kid, I was not in accordance with their categories. In my mind, Chimpanzees are monkeys. They are the definitive monkeys. Lance Link, secret chimp? Monkey. Tarzan's cheetah? Monkey. Kurt Russel's "Barefoot Executive"? Monkey. Gorillas and Orangutan? Big monkeys. Rhesus, Gibbon, and Colobus? Small monkeys.

OK, I get it. I can't go using my own definition for words when there are scores of people in corduroy jackets with patches on the elbows working hard to make these definitions. That's my own problem and I'll have to deal with it.

But what does irk me is when people say "It's a scientific fact that monkeys are not apes." It's right up there with the scientific fact that tomatoes are fruits and not vegetables. Or that Pluto is not a planet.

One of my biggest pet peeves in this world is the unscientific nature of science in the classroom. Again, I get it... not everybody wants to be a scientist. We have to teach everybody SOME science, but don't need to teach everybody how to be a scientist. So we turn science class into a vocabulary class and too often we refer to the art of classification as if it were science. I'm sure classification is essential to science, but it isn't science. I see it more as bookkeeping which needs to be done before we can do science. For thousands of years people have been naming animals. God literally gave that job to Adam in the first book of The Bible. More recently we have been grouping animals into categories like vertebrates, mollusks, crustaceans, arachnids, birds, mammals, etc. I think in general, this was usually done by looking at the creatures and seeing which ones looked alike. Clams, mussels, and scallops... close enough, you're a group. Spiders and ants... nope, two many legs... three part body... two different groups for you. I'm sure there was a lot of interesting and lengthy observations made, including dissecting and using microscopes and whatnot. And that observation is, I admit, a big part of the scientific process.

But applying names to the various groups, I assert, is NOT science. It's bookkeeping. Science really deals with the unknown. It is the act of making a hypothesis, testing this hypothesis, and either rejecting it or letting it stand unfalsified until further testing. After sufficient tests have been taken, repeated in various locations independently, and the results are consistently reproduced we can finally reject the hypothesis or we can claim that it is supported by the evidence and thus it is a theory. So you can say "mollusks appeared on the earth before arachnids" or "birds evolved from reptiles", and then begin testing this hypothesis. And of course, these hypotheses could not have been made if we didn't have the groups such as mollusks and arachnids already defined. Thus the categorization is important to science... perhaps necessary to science. But that is not itself science.

The categorization process, as I see it, does not require hypothesis or testing. For example, the convention is that monkeys have tails and apes don't. So do we need a hypothesis to state "This creature I'm looking at swinging in the tree has a tail."... and then do we apply an experiment (i.e. look at it's tail as he is dangling off a branch of a tree w/ said tail)? Do we now replicate this experiment in various locations? That might be difficult since the creature I'm observing is really only in one location... right in front of ME. No, it seems to me that we just arbitrarily pick a set of criteria, and look for creatures with said criteria, and apply the name to all who fit the bill. At least that is how it's been done for hundreds, nay thousands of years. Has backbone... heats his own body... makes milk... has thumbs... has no tail... he's an ape. Oh HAS tail... OK, monkey. Tusks above the trunk? Mammoth. Bellow the trunk? Elephant.

Not really any hypothesis testing going on there. Just bookkeeping. It's not a "scientific fact" that monkeys have tails. It's a definition that monkeys have tails, then we go ahead and label the tail waggers as monkeys. Nothing was discovered, no hypothesis was confirmed or rejected. No secrets of the Universe were revealed.

Today we have a whole new dimension to the process. We see things in light of genetics and evolution. So the categorization process is a lot more dependent on hypothesis testing. You don't just look for a tail, you need to extract certain gene markers from a strand of DNA. Certainly a lot of science going on there. We see which creatures were descended from which, which couldn't possibly be related any time lately. I remember there's a creature that looks like a rabbit, with big floppy ears, but is classified as a Rodent. Now I don't know why a Rabbit is different from a Rodent... though I think it has something to do with the front teeth. But in any case, if you were classifying these buggers 200 years ago, you would probably say that they belong in the same group. But with the help of DNA we can say that the two had different evolutionary paths to similar outward appearance, and thus belong in different categories. THIS decision making process seems to be real science to me. There's a similar debate going on now about the Panda bear. Is it really a bear, or is it more like a big raccoon?

But in the end, the Panda is what a Panda is. It doesn't matter what label we put on it. It's an arbitrary grouping. A label based on arbitrary criteria. The fact that you know that a Kangaroo is a marsupial does NOT imply that you know your science. Any English major or political historian can memorize names and lists of criteria. This does not imply that they know how to apply the scientific method... that they are equipped to begin the task of explaining the unknown... that they know science. It only implies that they can memorize names and lists of criteria. This is NOT science.

This can be extrapolated to any of the sciences. Apparently Pluto is not a planet. Was it ever? Were the scientists of 20 years ago WRONG? What is the list of criteria necessary for a body to be called a planet? As far as I knew, it was a night time traveler, something in the sky that moved at a different speed than the rest of the stars. As such, I suspect we really have only three or four planets... unless we allow telescopes into the definition. Then it becomes ANYTHING that revolves around the sun? Anything of a certain size and heft that revolves around the sun? Anything that does not have a tail that revolves around the sun? (Yes, apparently that was one criticism about Pluto... he DOES have a tail... or he would if he were close to the sun). So again, I conclude WHO CARES ?!? This classification is NOT science. The science occurs while we explore the details... does Pluto have a tail? Would Pluto have a tail if it were closer to the sun? What is the size and heft of Pluto? THOSE are the kinds of questions that are asked by scientists, and answered by science. Once those things are all asked and answered (independently and consistently), then we can turn it over to the bookkeepers to drop these things into their buckets and slap a label on them. Then some smart alack kid can claim to "know" science and tell us that Pluto is or isn't a planet even if he knows nothing about the questions and methods used to derive the answers which were used to make the categorization.

OK, finally I come to tomatoes. Are they a fruit or a vegetable? First of all, can't you be both? What the heck is a vegetable? In my mind, it's all vegetation. The whole of the Plant Kingdom. Apples? Vegetables. Peaches? Vegetables. Green Pepper? Vegetable. Lettuce, Onions, Celery? Vegetable. Corn? Vegetables. Sunflower seeds? Vegetables. OK, so what's a fruit? Oh, those are the bloated part of a flower after the flower becomes pregnant. They swell up with water content, are usually surrounded by some sort of plant skin, and they bear seeds. Apples? Fruit. Peaches? Fruit. Green Peppers? Most certainly a fruit, as are cucumbers, squash, pumpkins, and eggplant. Corn? By the ear... fruit. By the kernel... probably not. Sunflower seeds? probably not. Lettuce, onions, celery? Not so much.

Tomatoes? Unequivocally BOTH.

But here's the worst part of the fruit vs vegetable controversy. Who decides? It is NOT the scientists. It's not the white coats or even the corduroy jackets making this call, it's the dark suits with mirrored sunglasses. It is government law enforcement organizations such as the FDA who classify some vegetation as "vegetables" and some as "fruits". What criteria do THEY use? Generally orders from the president, or decrees from congress. And how on EARTH are they equipped to make these decisions? THEY control tax policy and tariffs. They determine that a can of crushed tomatoes from Italy is a vegetable but a can of whole tomatoes from Italy is a fruit. Thus crushed are tariff free while whole are subject to a tariff.

So in conclusion, I will keep in mind that categorization can be important for effective communication if you keep in mind that knowledge of categories is NOT knowledge of science.

This Might Get Loud

2009-09-25T01:54:00.006-04:00

Been meaning to write up this review for a while now. I headed down to Houston Street to catch This Might Get Loud as soon as I could. It's a documentary produced by the same people who made "An Inconvenient Truth". Don't worry, it's not politically charged at all.

Basically they get three famous rock guitarists from three different eras together in a room, along with guitars and equipment, and see what happens. The three rock stars are Jimmy Page, The Edge, and Jack White.

It starts off with some sort of vignettes, each of the three by himself, giving random thoughts about music and guitars. They go into each one's very earliest memories from childhood and how they first discovered rock and roll, and guitars in particular. They show some of the oldest film and video clips available. They even get Jimmy Page at about 12 years old, on British TV strumming an acoustic guitar singing skiffle style. The Edge takes you back to his high school and shows you the room where their music teacher let the band, later to be known as U2, learned to play. He showed the bulletin board where he first read the notice that Bono was looking for a guitar player. Jack White takes you to the streets of Detroit, in an Spanish neighborhood, where he and his seven siblings were among the few English speakers still living there. He explains that it was not the Mecca of rock music in the eighties.

The very first scene is Jack White building a make shift electric guitar out of a plank of wood, a coke bottle, a pickup, some string, and a hammer and nails. "Who need to buy a guitar" he muses. The Edge tells you about how he and his brother built an electric guitar from scratch when he was 10 years old, including carving the body and neck, carving grooves for frets, laying the metal frets into those grooves, winding the wire around the magnets to make the pickups...

There are lots of scenes of each of them on their own, in their own element, doing their own process.

Eventually, they all arrive in a sort of studio room... more like a movie studio than a music studio... but all of their own equipment is there, set up by their own people. They all talk about music, guitars, their experience in the business, their process... everything.

At one point you see Jack White and The Edge talking and doing stuff when Jimmy Page starts to rock out some recognizable Zeppelin riff. The two of them almost turn white as their jaws seem to hit the floor. Everything instantly stops as their attention is glued to the rock legend.

There's not nearly enough playing, in my opinion. But there is some... and what they have is good. They all jam out together on Zeppelin's "In My Time of Dying". A great number for fans of gritty slide guitar, which is perfect for Jack White. The Edge puts his own technical, crisp, clean, non-gritty spin on it. Even blindfolded, you would be able to pick out each one's style with no problem. They wrap it up by working out a group version of "The Weight" by The Band.

I learned quite a bit about Jimmy Page. I didn't really know much about him except he was from England and played in The Yardbirds. I had no idea about his life as a studio musician, writing and playing jingles for commercials and movies, as well as Musak.

I was also incredibly impressed by Jack White and his story. I knew virtually nothing about him... wasn't even sure if his drummer was his wife or what... turns out it's his sister. I wasn't sure if he was all talk, playing up some sort of image, but he comes across as a real and authentic. He talks about having virtually nothing while growing up, but scraping together enough music equipment that his bed couldn't fit in his room anymore, so he slept on a mat on the floor. He loves working with old dented broken, half out of tune guitars and pianos. There are also some almost scary similarities between him and Jimmy Page in some really strange ways... like in the old records they both listened to as kids, and some of the songs they chose to play early on.

If you are a fan of rock guitar, or rock music in general, this is a MUST SEE.

ADDENDUM: It is now November 26, 2011 when I'm looking back at these old blog entries, and I felt I had to add that I have since found out that Jack White's drummer in The White Stripes IS his ex-wife, and NOT his sister. And while I still dig Jack White, I really can't believe a word he says.

MOTORHEAD at Roseland

2009-09-10T01:23:00.003-04:00

Holy shit... what a fucking show !!! Don't write off The Goose 'till you see the box going in the ground. I STILL got some rock star in me after all.

Here was the lineup...
Nashville Pussy
Reverend Horton Heat
Motorhead

So I'm on line waiting to buy a ticket and some nerdy dude comes up behind me and starts talking... but talking in a way that made me uncomfortable. Maybe he was just nerdy, but did you ever get the feeling somebody is just being TOOO friendly? So he says "I'm here to see Reverend Horton Heat... I hear Motorhead is really good too." I'm like "YEAH !?!?!" (real douche bag like... sorry, I couldn't help it) He looks at the box office window and say "Oooohhh... I would NEVER name a band like that !!!" I said "Horton Heat or Motorhead?" He's like "No, the other one..." Then I couldn't hold back... I said "REALLY? What don't you like? Nashville or Pussy ????"

OK, drop $50 f'n dollars at the box office. Same show was $30 in Atlantic City last week (which I didn't go to, though with travel it would have been a hell of a lot more... though with table games, it could have gone either way). Meet up w/ Anthony right away inside, belly up to the bar and hang w/ Hoboken Jay (from American Standard). Me, I'm not drinking, but I say hi to everybody and we're talking...

Check out Nashville Pussy. Awesome full speed ahead, no holds barred, kick ass biker-billy, rock and roll. Songs about drinking and driving and fucking and fighting... two amazon women on bass and guitar, a scruffy cowboy guitar/singer, couldn't see the drummer... loud, fast, distorted hard rock w/ Nashville roots. Short set, like 15 minutes.

Next chill for 15 minutes at bar, and Reverend Horton Heat comes on. Power trio... hollow body w/ twang bar, stand up bass, stripped down drum kit... the perfect setup for rockabilly... though much more punk oriented. They are the definitive psycho-billy band. Latest album they say is a bit more country than usual, but that's just a phase and they'll go back to their psycho-billy sound next album. These guys kicked ass. Fun band, amazing talent on the guitar and bass, great showmanship... some long rocking jams, some short funny songs. All around great entertainment. They played for a good 40 minutes.

Another 20 minutes, just long enough to strike Horton Heat and uncover Motorhead's gear. Quick sound check by roadies, and on comes Motorhead. Motorhead, the archetypal power trio... this time w/ guest drummer from The Cult and Guns and Roses.

Had positioned myself into a good spot in the center when the shit hit the fan. Fucking MAYHEM all around me. Quickly had to duck and cover, had to spring into action and take evasive maneuvers. Fists and feet everywhere... bodies flying through the air... about a minute or two later a pit was established as some of us veterans were establishing the perimeter. My new motto... "I AM the perimeter." (Or maybe "The Pit Starts Here.") Basically, anybody moshing behind me get's tossed in front of me, anybody in front of me not moshing gets pulled back behind me (usually welcomed with thanks and praise)... and from then on, it's a matter of pushing people back into the pit as they try to expand their area. Had to tell myself, "OK, this is MOTORHEAD... take this seriously." Took off the watch and eyeglasses. Next thing several full beers come flying overhead from far behind in the auditorium, and I got a half full beer down my back. For two seconds I was pissed, and then I just had to remind myself again... "It's MOTORHEAD... and you're in the fucking midst of it." Crazy insane moshing goes on for the next I don't know how long... people hitting the floor HARD and people scoop them up as soon as possible. One dude would fall back down two seconds later, then we'd scoop him back up and then he'd drop again... he did this like six times so I was convinced he was fucking with us... I got in his face and yelled in his ear, "STay on your feet asshole!" He was back on the ground two seconds later. Next time he got up, I took him by the scruff of his neck and his belt and gave him the bum's rush across to the other side... epic wipe out and major pileup over there. This sweaty skinhead was panting and weezing and said "I'm too old for this shit... I'm 31." I'm like "Dude, I'm forty-fucking-three !!!" Fucking lightweight !!!

MOTORHEAD KICKED ASS. They were right on tonight. Last time they sort of dragged for the first half of the show and then turned it on towards the end... tonight it was full steam ahead from beginning to end.

After a few songs, once the pit was established, I noticed a clique of young girls (around 25-ish) who sort of formed their own little world in my shadow. They were going apeshit among themselves, reaching past me to sometimes push somebody back into the pit, then retreating behind me again. They kept banging up against my back and pushing each other into me. Next thing they're climbing up my back holding onto my shoulders getting in my ear and telling me "DUDE, YOU FUCKING RULE !!!". When I'd look back at them, they were all fist pumping and head banging and going apeshit... rocking out to Motorhead... all in the relative safety that is ME. Next I know they're grinding and rubbing all up on me... and I'm fucking sweaty and full of beer... and the music was PUMPING, and their were strobe lights... and the whole thing was just out of hand... next I know I got one girl up on my shoulders. She's playing my head like a drum, and stroking my hair and rocking out. Me? I was doing the bobble head... I hope she enjoyed it.

When the show was over, they all split... didn't get any pictures or numbers or anything. Just good memories of a great show. Oh, and top three buttons on my shirt were ripped off. By the end of the show I was a sweaty, beer soaked, ripped shirt, girl-on-shoulder-having ...rock star.

Running with the shadows of the night

2009-08-14T13:49:00.009-04:00

So I had a choice to go to one of two free shows on Thursday. A couple of indi bands at Pier 54, or some headliners from my high school years out on Coney Island. The clincher for me was the opening band.

Amazing Baby and Yeahsayer would have been fun, but probably not blogworthy. But that does have it's advantages as they are a quick jaunt downtown on the A line, and I could even be back uptown before the A goes local.

But how could I resist a trip out to Coney Island to see The Donnas. I LOVE those chicks. Nothing beats their straight ahead hard rocking sound. Who doesn't like chicks that rock. Now throw in the other two acts... Pat Benetar and Blondie... OK, I'm in.

So on the one hand I'm thinking that I don't listen to Pat Benetar, so why would I travel the entire length of the city to see her? But sweeten the pot with Blondie, who though I have my issues with them, was always at the very top of my cool-ometer. Most likely I would have made the trek just to see Blondie, but throw in the other two, and you've got yourself a deal. Met up with my buddy Howie, celebrity stalker extraordinaire, who gave me the whole rundown of this venue... he's been going there for years. This summer he's already seen there Frankie Valley and The OJs... just to name a few.

So, long boring trip on the D train to the last stop and end up on Surf Ave, right near Nathans, one block from the Boardwalk. Walk a good few blocks along Surf Ave past the Freak Show, The Cyclone, Squirt the Clown watergun games, The New York Aquarium, etc. Eventually you come to a park on the other side (away from the ocean) about the size of a football field.

Sort of typical New York free show clusterfuck. They have folding chairs in the center of the field, fenced off. You pay $5 or $10 extra for a seat. On both sides and on the sidewalk, people bring their own chairs, throw down blankets, or just pull up some grass and have a seat (like me). There was a line for the seats wrapping around the block, but you could just meander into the non-seated area. So of course people who show up late are stepping over people who show up early. The crowd was a VERY strange mix... lots of 43 year old moms, a few freaks from the CBGBs era (for Blondie), bikers, biker mommas, some young kids who are into retro-rock... but an awful lot of local folk FAR too old to know who Blondie was... maybe they thought Frankie Valley was this week.

It soon becomes clear that this is a Parks Department production, not a professional concert promotion. Just like the shows at The Pier, or the Medieval fest up at the cloisters, they bear the mark of local groups just overextending themselves a bit. Not enough bathrooms, one tiny merchandise booth, no coordination w/ the subway trains (like they do for sports events and concerts). Most important, the continuous presence of one Marty Marcowitz. Dude stands about 5 foot nothing, wears a white tuxedo jacket, and works the microphone for about two hours. Tells you not to smoke, not to save seats for your friends, pick up your trash, tells jokes, thanks people, plugs local politicians running for office... just keeps running his mouth continuously. Apparently they wanted to find somebody MORE Jewish, but there is no such thing. BTW: this is the guy who had the signs put up on bridges and tunnels saying things like "Fughetaboutdit" and "Oy Vey, you're leaving Brooklyn why?".

OK, enough rambling... on to the show.

The Donnas took the stage promptly at 8, kicked mondo ass for (let's see, four songs, three minutes a song...) about fourteen minutes. Wish they could have played longer, but thems the breaks when you open for two legendary headliners. They kept telling the crowd "don't be afraid to STAND UP", but in this crowd, that might cause a broken hip... (I'm saying they're OLD).

Next up, Pat Benetar. OK, I'm gonna admit something now... and do you DARE repeat this to anybody... the first record I ever bought when I was a freshman in high school was Pat Benetar. Remember Fast Times at Ridgemont High... when they point out the girls in high school rocking the many looks of Pat Benetar... that was EXACTLY my era in high school. All the chicks wanted to BE her, all the dudes wanted to get WITH her. And why not, she was a rocker... and we were in the height of the "Disco Sucks" movement... and she wore tight leather pants... and had a great voice.

Turns out Pat Benetar got the act started back in 1979. So this is her 30th anniversary. Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, we can claim her as a New Yorker... though she and the band moved to LA at the start of their career. Her voice was PERFECT. She still looks great. And man did I have some SERIOUS flashbacks to high school. It's bad enough that I'm on Facebook now, and getting in touch with people who I havn't spoken to since 1983, but this jogged more dormant neurons than you can imagine. Bottom line, she put on a great rocking show !!!!

Next up, Blondie... but first some rock and roll classics cranked out by their DJ, accompanied by two go-go girls. Now when I say "girls" I really mean go-go women, since I think they were about my age... but they were beautiful, and I love REAL rock and roll. We're talking Chubby Checker and that era... finally they sneak in The Stooges (I Wanna Be Your Dog) and The Ramones (Let's Dance)... great stuff... and then on with the show.

Now I mentioned that I have my issues with Blondie, so let's air this dirty laundry now. I remember back in the day hearing a live call-in show where fan after fan told Debbie how much they loved her, but warned her to "STAY AWAY FROM THE DISCO". Bad advice from those fans since their most popular and profitable songs were Disco... or at least in that direction... Heart of Glass, Rapture, Tide is High. Blondie was a staple at CBGBs back in the day, playing along side The Ramones, Television, The Talking Heads, The Dead Boys... they kicked out songs like Detroit 442, Hanging on the Telephone, and One Way or Another... but they got noticed by the world for their dance numbers. Me, I think Disco STILL sucks... but I'm not the one with several platinum albums. Also, there was the whole controversy when the band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but Debbie and Chris wouldn't let the original band mates play. Kinda puts a bad taste in my mouth... but what are you gonna do? Life goes on.

Now lets face it, part of Blondie's fame was due to Debbie Harry's stunning good looks. She was a freaking KNOCKOUT. But she was not just a pretty face, she could back it up with an AMAZGIN voice, and all around cool attitude. Actually it looks like Debbie's been spending some time in the gym lately, cuz she looked in better shape than she had in years. Her voice, as always, was phenomenal !!!

As expected, Blondie did most of their big hits and a few obscure numbers that only real fans would recognize. Of course they did long extended versions of their big dance numbers, Atomic, Tide is High, and Rapture.

They made my night at the encore, breaking out The Ramones' Havana Affair !!!! Then immediately went into Heart of Glass.

That's when it got weird.... Heart of Glass sort of melts into an unrecognizable disco haze, and then the keyboard kicks in... "what was that... I KNOW that riff... NO... they COULDN'T... COULD THEY???... " The disco beat goes on and it becomes clearer and clearer that EVERYBODY knows this song... the crowd goes nuts and dancing breaks out all over the place, as Debbie sings in a slow and moody style...

"Lovely is the feeling now
Fever, Temperature rising now
Power (ah power) is the force the vow
That makes it happen... "

Yes, it was Michael f'n Jackson's "Don't Stop 'till You Get Enough"

Damn, I actually just typed MJs name after I SWORE never to mention him again... ever. Oh well, it was actually a good choice, a good version, and a crowd pleaser. They guitared it up, put some hurt on it, made it mean... and Debbie's voice was hypnotic.

So that's the show folks. Glad I went. I had a ball. Don't think I'll be hitting up too many shows at this venue unless it's something equally interesting, but since I swore off big areanas this summer, this was actually perfect for me.

Moon

2009-07-30T17:15:00.003-04:00

I was afraid of this film. I saw the preview, and it really reminded me of Solaris, which you can find reviewed on this very blog somewhere. Well I enjoyed this a bazillion times more than Solaris. This is a quality piece of Science Fiction, in my opinion.

Don't expect laser guns and space battles. It's not an action flick. It's a good SciFi story presented extremely well. It's good Science and good Fiction.

The Science is good in the sense that (as you might have guessed) it all takes place on the Moon. Much is inside a moon station, some is inside a six-wheeled lunar rover, and some is out on the surface in a space suit. The lunar landscapes and textures are amazing, the details inside the space station, all the video screens and LEDs in the background, the vehicles and lunar structures... they're done just right.

The Fiction is good in the sense that they set up a fairly simple plot, though it takes a bit of time to reveal it to the audience AND to the main character. As he figures it out, so do you. Once the plot is revealed, they play it out to it's natural conclusion. I won't spoil anything, except to say that it's a really neat SciFi sort of situation.

Now add to the good Sci and Fi is some really quality acting. I'm not talking about mellodrama, but real physical acting... having an actor portray different aspects and characteristics with more than just voice intonation, but with his entire body and movement.

I wish I could say more, but I WILL NOT spoil this one. If you can't get to your local art house to see this, be sure to rent it or catch it on cable when it's available. It will never see main stream theaters because it's just a bit too slow moving and cerebral. Like I said, no laser guns or space battles... but a really good story told really well with AMAZING visuals and quality acting.

Everyone who reads this blog should see this.

Deadgirl - with spoilers

2009-07-27T13:36:00.004-04:00

So I headed down to Houston St on Friday night to catch this intriguing little work called "Deadgirl". The write-ups I saw all implied that this was one seriously disturbing film. While I caught the brief synopsis of the plot, they really didn't fill us in on what was so screwed up about this movie. The producers managed to book this film into some art-house venues across the country over the weekend, accompanied by a Q&A session with co-directors and producers.

Among other things, the director made it known that nobody in Hollywood would touch this movie. It will never see the theaters, and will be out on DVD in a few months. They knew from the start that this was not going to make any money, that everybody involved was not in it for a paycheck, but that they all really wanted to make this film "the right way", or not make it at all. At the end of the day, this is probably not a big deal... not a paradigm shift in cinematography... just another indipendent movie that pushed some boundaries. It did get enough notariety that even Rex Reid reviewed it.

After the movie, as the lights were coming up and the co-director and a producer took the mic, they said "Give us a second, we want to see the looks on all your faces... hey, there was not a single 'walk-out'... very impressive.".

I'm not sure how this movie will hold up to a home viewing. The big screen and good sound system creates the mood which may or may not translate to your living room.

Deadgirl fits in the horror category, but can not be put in the same category as Nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist, or Night of the Living Dead. There is plenty of gruesome nastyness, but not nearly as gory as any of the Saw movies or Hellraiser. There are some halariously funny aspects to it, but it's not a comedy... by no means is this Shaun of the Dead. It's sort of a "coming of age" movie, but is far from Stand by Me or River's Edge. There is some influence from Donnie Darko, but mostly in sound track and audio, not so much in visuals or plot.

OK, so that's what it's not. But what IS it? Well I suggest you just watch it and make your own oppinion. On the other hand, this is obviously not for everybody, so I can't in good concience urge you to watch it. But if you really want to know, read on... spoilers start here...

=================================================================

OK, I can sum it up in two words... zombie rape. Two high school kids cut school, get drunk, and explore an abandoned psychiatric hospital. After pushing through a heavy door which was rusted shut, they come upon a room which was clearly unused and unseen for a long time. To their shock and amazement, they find a dead girl handcuffed to a gurney covered in plastic wrap. They poke at her to see if she's alive, and low and behold, her eyes and fingers are twitching, and she is breathing shallowly. This is where it gets weird. One kid is like, "OK, let's free her and call the cops and get the fuck out of here." The other kid is like "Let's FUCK HER!"

The origin of the dead girl is purposely left untold. She is, however, clearly a zombie. While the one kid runs out of there wanting nothing to do with her, the other guy stays behind to discover that this chick is in fact dead, can't die again, and that she can now be his permanent sex slave... leaving her chained up in this dismal underground abandoned wreckage. How does he find out she can't be killed? Well during his attempt at sex with her, he beats the crap out of her and snaps her neck... just because he like it like that. While it was not actually shown, he claims he killed her three times during the first sexual encounter, and she keeps coming back to life.

Eventually several people find out about their discovery and some of them come down to the room to fuck the dead girl. Through the rest of the movie, the dead zombie girl gets raped continuously, beaten, shot, and stabbed.... some scenes more graphic than others. (With only two tiny edits, the director said they got an R rating.)

Eventually she starts to stink as her wounds are festering, and they're faced with the delema on how to make her more attractive and more sexually appealing.

I think I'll leave it there. There's a bit more to the plot, with some interesting twists and turns, but by and large, that's the gist of it.

Sir Paul McCartney

2009-07-22T10:57:00.002-04:00

I swore off big stadium shows this summer, and when I saw McCartney coming around, I thought about it for about 30 seconds and decided that I wasn't interested. But then my brother Ed told me he got me a ticket for the show at the new Citi Field. The three Wilk bros and Harry B. I was prepared to pretend to enjoy the show just to be polite, and to appreciate it for it's historical value... it's not every day you get to see a Beatle doing Beatles songs. But Paul is known for the more hokey Beatles songs (Honey Pie) as well as the slow sentimental ones (Yesterday), so I was nervous.

Well it turns out the show really ROCKED. He chose mostly upbeat and high energy songs... even broke into Foxy Lady instrumental for a few minutes. (hey, did you know Paul could actually play guitar?) They inserted several honest to God arena-rock type jam sessions. They did a rocking versions some otherwise slow-ish songs like Elenore Rigby and A Day in the Life (into Give Peace a Chance). Began the slow George Harrison song "Something" on the ukelele before the band drifted in. I was especially pleased when they broke out into Helter Skelter... wow, totally rocking! Taxman, Drive My Car, and some of the old Rock and Roll era numbers kept people on their feat. Add a few Wings numbers like Jet and Band on the Run... and you got yourself a real Rock Show ! Also, they went APESHIT with pyro and fireworks for Live and Let Die. And perhaps best of all was the finale... Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (the reprise version, you know, the one that ROCKS) into one of my favorites from Abby Road (the rocking jam that ends with "... and in the end, the love you take is equal too the love you make").

Sure, he brought it down a few times with Yesterday and Hey Jude and a love song he wrote for Linda. But that included a rendition of Blackbird, so I was happy. Also, some nice little anecdotes in between songs was appreciated.

Band was fairly minimalist, flanking him were two additional guitars, one of whom swapped for a bass when needed, keyboard player, and an amazing Samoan drummer (looked like a villain henchman from a James Bond flick). Paul swapped often between his signature bass, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, mandolin, ukulele, and piano. Of course everybody on stage was brilliant, but they also cold sing the ooohs and ahhhs in the high pitched Beatles style (at first I was looking for the black girls singing backup when I realized it was all just them). I can't say enough about the drummer. He was banging the drums with GUSTO from the beginning to the end.

McCartney did not hide behind his band to cover his ass, you could always hear him in the mix. For a few songs Paul was on stage alone w/ just his acoustic. He is known for a wide vocal range, which makes a lot of his songs hard to sing. Well he hit the high notes, the low notes, the gravelly "Helter Skelter" notes, the bluesy skat-improvs.. simply put, he delivered the goods.

Paul took the stage at 9pm and went on to 11:30, did well over 30 songs, and put on a great rock show. My hat is off to this great performer.

Boring Congressional Hearing ?

2009-07-13T10:50:00.002-04:00

I decided to tune in C-SPAN to check out the Sotomayor confirmation hearing and was immediately struck by the sense of doom about how boring this was going to be. In the audience right behind her, you could see a teenage boy yawning... and the hearing hadn't started five minutes earlier. This is especially true during the first few speakers who will pontificate about generalities about the hearing and process, as well as the formal platitudes even from her opposition. She won't get a chance to answer questions or even speak for several more hours. Right now it's just the committee members blathering on and on.

BUT, a few minutes after Senator Feinstein started her monologue, somebody in the audience started shouting "Senator... what about the..." I wish I could tell you what he was saying, but it was not really audible. The committee chair then took to the microphone and instructed the police to remove the protester and admonished the audience that such outbursts would not be tolerated by anybody either for or against the judge.

So that made my morning... nothing like some good old fashion activism to liven up a congressional hearing.

Time for another movie review

2009-06-11T18:48:00.002-04:00

This may contain spoilers, but I don't think you guys will run out to see this anyway. Read on at your own risk.

Caught this one called The Darwin Awards. It's worthy of mention and worthy of watching on a week night. No Oscars here, and the leading lady is Winona Rider... still not sure what the attraction is to her. But it was an interesting idea and definitely had some good laughs, but fell short on overall chemistry and seemed a bit contrived. I never really believed the actors, just thought they were reading their lines, if you know what I mean. And in one sense, it's really a complete ripoff of the TV show Monk.

Anyway, it's all based on a police investigator who gets fired because he always passes out when he sees blood. He takes a job for an insurance company investigating the more bizare insurance claims, all of which we've read time and time again in e-mails billed as The Darwin Awards. They have the exec that jumps out his window trying to prove that the glass is unbreakable, of course the Jato rocket attached to the car, and the headbangers sneaking into the Metalica show.

The film almost looks like an indi, but it clearly had some budget and production value. The cast was a bizzare who's who of talent... up and commers, old timers, SNL alumni, an authentic beat poet, the myth busters, and an appearance by Metalica.

They kept one gimick running through the whole thing and then blew it at the end. There's a student making a college film documentary about the investigator, but you never see him. They speak to him, and interact with him, but much of the film is from his point of view... through his camera. Once they do show him, but he's got the big camera covering his face. Then suddenly in the last few minutes they do this big goofy gag where they're scaling the side of a building and BAM there he is with not even a reference to the big reveal... just matter of fact... there he is. It's not a big secret as you recognize his voice almost in the first two minutes of the film... he's everybody's favorite Foreign Exchange Student from That Seventies Show. I just wonder why they bothered w/ the whole Hide-the-Face gag and then just dropped it with no fanfare.

Hitchhiker's Guid to the Galaxy

2009-05-20T12:38:00.005-04:00

OK, finally caught this on cable, even though the DVD has been sitting on my shelf for more than a year now. (At least SciFi ran it in HD, though it had commercials.)

I have to give this a miss. Some of the effects are really nice, and they do basically cover all of the important parts of the book. But the whole thing seems rushed, confused, and clumsy. Once again, that clumsy factor comes up in a movie... people bumping into each other and all talking at once is NOT funny.

They use the Vogons too much... and they look like something out of H.R. Puffinstuff. Or maybe those creepy puppets from the Phil Collins video.

In my oppinion, the book itself should be a big character in this movie. They do a few cut aways to graphic animation of the articles in The Hitchhiker's Guide, but not enough and not done nearly well enough. In fact, I'd say the old 80's graphics from the BBC show did a better job. These new graphics were more polished and sparkly, but not as neat or entertaining. Remember the whole graphic interpretation of the bloodiest battle in the galaxy (the perpertrators of which, due to an oversight in scale, were eventually swallowed by a dog)? There needed to be a lot more of that kind of stuff, but instead they rely on Zafod yelling at his 2nd head and showing the crew falling on the floor.

It's been a while since I read the book, but was there some sort of empathy gun (where if you shoot somebody, they know what the shooter is feeling)? I think that was completely manufactured for this movie... and if so I give a strong and rousing WTF ?!?!?

And WTF was Mos Deff doing in this movie? He added nothing. Ford is supposed to be the coolest dude hitchhiking across the galaxy, but he came accross as a bumbling baffoon... though even THAT didn't come accross very strongly.

It wasn't very long, so if you are a completist, and you just have to see it because you're a fan, then go for it. But it would never ever ever stand by itself, and was mostly a let down.

On the plus side, for fans, they did sneak a few references to Douglas Adams as well as some Monty Python references. Look for them if you decide to suffer through this film.

Two more movies

2009-05-08T00:27:00.002-04:00

Two interesting obscure flicks I caught on Cable. One gets a qualified thumbs up and the other gets a guarded thumbs down.

Let's start with the bad news... Smiley Face.

This was a bizarre comedy flick staring Anna Faris. She plays a girl who just got WAY too high and has trouble getting things done, like pay the electric bill and go to an acting audition. She winds up stumbling through a strange and desperate series of events. She actually does a really good job at playing a girl who is completely and utterly stoned. Her paranoia, forgetfulness, severe munchies, and all around dopiness is performed masterfully. There's also some very entertaining camera angles, special effects, and some clever writing. Also a few guest appearences by recognizible, if not A-list, actors including Mrs. C from Happy Days, Harold from Harold and Kumar, and the big tall creepy comedian guy who pusehed the mail cart in Mad About You (and was one of he gay guys in Sarah Silverman Show).

The main problem with this movie, which just ruins the whole thing, is that the gag is worthy of a short subject... not a whole movie. It wears thin early on, and they keep milking it and milking it. If this was a half hour piece, it would have been a raging success in my oppinion. But an hour and a half of this is just WAY too much.

On a tangent note, I couldn't help but notice the last thing in the credits actually gave credit to the owners of the happy face symbol, a company called Smiley World.
http://www.smileylicensing.com/Pages/sw_welcome.html

Next up is... What We Do Is Secret

This is the Punk Rock equivalent of Oliver Stone's "The Doors". It tells the whole story of the rise and fall of The Germs, the seminal but short lived Los Angeles punk band fronted by singer Darby Crash. Chances are you never heard The Germs. They were one of the sloppiest and noisiests acts around... unlike the tight Ramones or the more Rock and Roll oriented X or the melodic The Damned. However, their T-shirst are still a staple among the alternative rock scene of the 90's and into this decade. You may also have seen their omnipresent logo either on shirts or as graffitti, though you would never know it... it was simply a blue circle.

Ironically, after their first gig, one of the chicks makes it clear that she is not and never was officially part of the band. She says that she would never want to be on stage with all those people looking at her. However, a few years later, young Belinda Carlisle would find herself in the limelite.

Darby Crash is played by TV star Shane West (of ER fame), and there's a good performance by Bijou Philips. IMO, the lesser known Rick Gonzalez steels the show as the guitarist Pap Smear.

The movie covers all the important fixtures of the early LA punk scene from around '75 - '80. This includes mentions of the clubs like The Whiskey and The Orphium, and the characters who owned and opperated them. Also they show the inception of Slash Records. They were sure to include the Rodney Bingenheimer character, a DJ sometimes known as The Mayor of the Sunset Strip, an obscure character who was influential in the scene. They also included the appearence of Penelope Spheeris who was making her documentary of the scene, "The Decline of Western Civilization".

Most important, they show the early punk for what it was, a bunch of low down dirty street hustlers making a statement. These were not posers, they lived the life and lived the scene.

If you have any interest in the punk rock scene, either musically or just as a social phenomenon, this is well worth seeing. If you don't care about punk, and can't stand the music, then avoid at all costs.

Movies on Cable last week

2009-04-20T11:05:00.003-04:00

Here's the latest round of movies... two thumbs up and one stinker....

Stardust
This was a fantasy adventure romance where Claire Danes plays a star which was knocked out of the sky. It was a very well executed on all fronts. Good writing, good acting, and stunning visuals. Shot almost entirely against a digitally created background, they created some awesome landscapes, skyscapes, and seascapes. This includes the large crater formed when the star impacts, the evil looking crevasse where the witches lair lies, and the steam punk sky ship captained by an ambiguous Robert DeNiro (I won't say any more about this character for fear of spoilage). They created a great fantasy world along with a fairly detailed but consistent adventure story. While it's not as swashbuckling or as epic as Willow, it sits firmly in the same category in tone and in execution. The humor actually leans towards the dark side... lots of grusome yet comical deaths, and seldome seen necromancy humor. Probably best for pre-teens and above. So if you're looking for a light hearted romance with witches, ghosts, pirates, and some awesome special effects, I highly recomdent this one.

Black Snake Moan
This is the one were Morgan Freeman keeps Cristina Ricci chained up in his living room in her underwear. Needless to say, this is not for the kiddies. I really liked this one. More than anything, this movie is a story about the blues. Not a history, just an example of the blues in it's raw form, as unfolded in a bizzare and extreme set of circumstances. What is that set of circumstances? Well, did I mention Christina Ricci is chained up in Morgan Freeman's living room in her underwear? It tugs at your moral underpinnings, sort of like "American Beauty" does... you really have to ask yourself, "would you?"

The Darjeerling Limited
Go back and read the review The Royal Tanenbaums, and just copy and past it here. Then add some more SUCK to it. This was the worst of the crop. What a stinker. Take Royal Tenenbaums, wrap Owen Wilson's head in bandages, put him on a train in India, and add two hours of boring, take away the cool soundtrack, and this is what you get. Yes, even though one of the characters has an iPod and keeps plugging it in to his speakers to play music, they fell completely short on the bizare hip music. The story goes nowhere, the characters are completely unlikeable, and even though it leads up to them performing a likeable deed, you still don't like them or care about them.

I will add one general comment to this whole line of films that didn't get mentioned in the previous post. They DO make an attempt to do some interesting camera work. In both this and "Life Aquatic", they apparently had to build a replica of the vessel (train or boat) in a studio as a cross section so they can pan the camera along it's length giving you a peak into the various compartments. In "Life Aquatic", they would follow somebody as they walk from the bilge, through various ladders and stairs, through hatches and doors, all the way up to the deck and then onto an elevated tower. In "Royal Tanenbaums" they followed poeple through the house, into closets, onto the roof, and even had views from an upper window looking down towards a lower window (and this was written into the story, as Gene Hackman saw Owen Wilson thinking he was unobserved as he slipped out the window below). In Darjeeling Limited, they were forever panning back and forth from compartment to compartment, and also sticking their heads out the window and looking from one to the other on the outside.

So I will give credit where credit is due for the attempt to use some interesting and innovative camera work. However if those techniques distract from, rather than add to the expirience, then they are just camera angles for the sake of camera angles. You can decide if they work or not.

Another Night out on the Town

2009-04-19T19:49:00.002-04:00

So I'm siting home on Saturday night planning a big night of doing nothing, when I get a call from Ben Munch. He and a buddy were moving South on the Hutch on there way to a bar in Chelsea (on W 17th St), and asked for direction to my place so they could pick me up. I hemmed and hawed a bit and said, sure, why not.

Ben's buddy Howie (not Schimmel) is a local from New Paltz, and says that he built this bar. Did the wood work, including a gazebo that is the DJ booth. So we find this little hole in the wall called "Retreat" with not much on the outside except three bouncers and a velvet rope. Howie asks, is Cliff here? They say, "Who wants to know." They start to grill him a bit.. "What's Cliff's last name?" (and Howie didn't know) He finally says, "Just tell him CHAINSAW is here."

One guy disappears inside for a few minutes and comes back and says, "OK, they're good." So in we go to what is physically laid out just like a million other bars. A fairly narrow strip, some bench seating hugging one wall, then the bar on the same side, and a bit more opened up area past the bar w/ a few booths around the sides. The club music was blasting, DJ in the gazebo mixing and mashing tunes together with the steady thump-thump-thump all night. The place was crowded with a great ratio of guys to girls, girls all dressed in the height of fashion... population skewed a bit towards Asian, black, and Spanish. Definitely a downtown New York scene... not bridge and tunnel.

While the place is dimly lit (in night club fashion, w/ colored lights pointing upward and low lights around the bottom of the bar and furniture), our host tried his best to show us his great woodwork. "Look at the grain... see how I made these joints fit... " It was almost like walking into a trendy night club with Bob Fucking Villa. I gotta say, the woodwork was pretty nice, but seemed a bit too... uh... woody for this place. Rough sawn wood, probably better suited for a ski lodge. Though honestly, I probably wouldn't have even noticed if this guy wasn't pointing it out in great detail.

He heads to the bar and comes back with some drinks... still not sure if he was paying or was getting comped. He told me my money was no good.

We had a good time, downing a few rounds, talking to some very attractive ladies... using "He built the bar" as the ice breaker. (I'm definitely gonna use that some time in the future.) For a while Howie had drifted away while me and Ben finished our drinks. I said "I'll get this round" and bellied up to the bar. "One Jack on the rocks, one margarita, no salt." "Sure... Here you go... that will be $23." OK, so I know how they keep the riff raff out of THAT place.

So apparently people who hang there have a lot of disposable income. It was a pretty young crowd, not many 40+, but the guys did look pretty professional. I doubt they would have gotten in the door in sneakers and jeans. And while the chicks were all decked out nice, I will say they were above average looking... but only slightly. Some super hot, some not so much... still everybody was friendly and seemed to be having a good time. We stayed until just after two and then split...

Then I missed a good deal on an XBox.

Smallville

2009-04-13T10:33:00.003-04:00

I wanted to jump on the Smallville bandwagon back when it first came out, but only caught it once or twice and never sat through an entire episode. Now they're re-running it on HDNET, in HD, with no commercials. Thanks to the DVR, it makes it extremely convenient to grab two episodes each day. Just the other day I caught the last episode (to date... I think there's a new season comming up), and then they ran the pilot and started it from the beginning.

The general comments that everybody gives is definitely accurate... too "90210". Still, there's more to be said about it.

First of all, the pilot sets up the scenario for the series in a smart way. Baby Superman's ship comes crashing down into a corn field in Smallville, Ohio (or is it Iowa?). But they included one detail that allows them to build a whole show. The first thing you see is Cal-El's ship flying through space, but it is not alone... it is in the midst of a swarm of meteors... apparently rubble from the exploding planet Krypton. As the ship lands, the meteors also crash to earth pelting the town and the surrounding area. They cause general destruction and chaos, including killing poor little Lana Lang's parents on the spot.

The series then picks up about twelve years later, where Lana and Clark are about fifteen years old in high school. By now, the meteor assault is just a local curiosity... just a sign on the edge of town "Smallville Population 50,001... Meteor Capital of the World". But the whole area is now impregnated with deposits of green glowing rocks from space, completely unnoticed by everybody.

So now they are set up with a method to create super villains every episode. All they need to do is have some troubled individual come in contact with the Kryptonite, and let the super powers ensue. Angry Coach of the football team has meteor rocks in his Sauna... obsessed pimple face kid with fascination for bugs captures bugs from woods who were exposed to kryptonite (and gets bitten by his bugs)... football jock falls through Ice into lake w/ meteors under water...

It also gives every episode the traditional Superman plot. Virtually indestructible Superman becomes vulnerable while confronting newly created super villain because there is usually kryponite nearby. This includes Lana Lang's necklace, which keeps as a reminder of her dead parents. So of course poor Clark has a hard time getting close to the object of his affection... at first he thinks it's just nerves when he come near her, but eventually figures it out. The necklace is used as a recurring plot device.

Another cool aspect is that they embrace death. In just about every episode the villain kills somebody... sometimes their own mother. Then each villain dies while fighting Superman. Of course he doesn't just haul off and kill them, but they either use their power too much and burn (freeze, electrocute, etc) themselves, or they get squashed by a falling piece of machinery that wouldn't have been falling if it wasn't for their own dastardly acts. So while Clark is essentially innocent, he is continuously surrounded by and confronted with horrific acts resulting in death.

Other plot points: most episodes Clark discovers some new power like X-Ray vision or Super Breath (but can't fly yet), Lex Luthor is not evil (yet) but is suffering from living in the shadow of overbearing father (why does this plot point come up all over the place? Tom Paris anybody?), eventually other DC characters start poping up (Green Arrow, Matian Manhunter), and there's a big tie in to Zod and other beings from The Phantom Zone. There's also some massive devestation, similar to what they keep narrowly avoiding on Heroes... a whole city gets raized... but that's much later in the show. Right now it's all about High Shcool, meteor mutants, and discovering powers.

I'm also fascinated by the way they construct super villains. It's the same basic technique used in many other programs, like Power Rangers and Sailor Moon. They take some characteristic of the character or the situation and build a villain out of it. Angry coach begins to cause fires when he gets angry, kid who falls through the ice needs to suck heat from his victims... basically, they start with some archetype that they can present visually, and then figure some plot line to inject that into a character. In Power Rangers (et al) they might have somebody laid up with a cold, and then up springs a monster made out of hypedermic needls shooting pills and medicine at their victims.

And finally two points about the 90210 aspects:
First of all, as sickening as it is, they are really good at what they do. The looks that say "I wish you loved me and not her", the "We're just friends" when it really menas "I wish we were more than friends"... typical soap opera stuff, but done PERFECTLY.

And the music... heavily ladened with the emo-pop-rock. You may not like that as a matter of taste or general principle, but it WORKS. They are masters at the back track, swelling to highlight the emotional scene as it fades to commercial. (except no commercials on HDNET!!!)

The Royal Tennenbaums

2009-03-23T21:55:00.002-04:00

OK, so I finally watched this and being we were just talking about it via e-mail I figured I'd write up another review here. By the way, I now know why Mayor Ed Kotch did movie reviews after leaving politics. It's a quick and easy way to fill up space.

So stylistically this is along the same lines as Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, and I assume Lost in Translation. It's got a slow pace punctuated with instances of frenzied action, there are lots of bizarre flawed characters, and the comedy is delivered wrapped inside ironic uneasy situations. I understand why this movie has a following, but to me it's just painfully boring. I want to know what happens next to the characters, but I'm hardly willing to wait through the long pauses and ironic looks to find out.

There's a lot of detail in the movie, and at first I though that it was very subtle. But then they went the extra step to point out every subtlety. Like the mice... in the first 5 minutes (which is really the best part of the movie), they introduce all the characters including the three gifted kids. One of them bred a "dalmatian mouse" and made a fortune selling them to a Japanese market. Throughout the movie, they show spotted mice subtly... which is cool, because you can say "Oh yeah, that kid invented those..." But then the go and write it in to the script, "Hey, what's with all these spotted mice"... "Oh, my brother invented them." So much for the subtlety. Another example was Paltrow's missing finger. They should have just left it an obscure mystery, not gone the extra step to explain it.

I'm not sure if they should give Gweneth Paltrow an Oscar for that role, but it must be really hard to scowl continuously and give such little emotional content in every line.

And sorry if these are spoilers... but the whole beauty of this movie was the funny bizarre characters. Did it really help to make it into a serious suicide attempt? Oh, I see... that's IRONIC... because it's suicide, and it's comedy. Not a slapstick suicide like on Laugh In, but a real bloody suicide, with funny ironic characters. And did we really need an "After School Special" aspect w/ Owen Wilson's drug problem? That added nothing, and just drew the whole thing out.

So basically, I'm with J on this. The writers and producers of this flick are hipster douche bags who want to show how ironic they can be, and if you don't get it, they win because they're hipper and more ironic than you.

Finally, I have to make this comparison. This reminded me of The Big Chill in a few ways. First of all, in TBC I didn't give a damn about anybody in that house. I didn't care that their friend died, and even though stuff happened... nothing really happened in the whole movie. But the most important thing in TBC was that they would play sound bites of popular songs from the 60s and 70s that spark emotional reactions. So the whole movie becomes a big series of rock video, only with sound bites instead of full songs.

Well TRT, takes that to a whole new level, as did Rushmore. There must have been 50 songs in there all picked for maximum emotional punch in as few seconds as possible. But they didn't go from the top of the charts, they went into the back catalogs... the obsucre selections... the "I'm cooler than you because you don't know these songs" section. Sure, everybody nows "Ruby Tuesday" by The Rolling Stones, but how many people know "Back Street Girl"? Never mind The Velvet Underground with Nico (at least two songs), Judy is a Punk by The Ramones, Police and Theives by The Clash. OK, so I actually GOT all those obscure references... cuz I AM that douche bag... but they will all go right over the heads of 99% of the movie goers.

Of the three, I liked Rushmore the best by far. Life Aquatic was much more fun and funny than Tanenbaums though it has mostly the same drawbacks, and it just got too far out for me. I GET The Royal Tannenbaums, and I see why some people would love it, but I can't recomend it. It didn't work for me.

Night Out on the Town

2009-03-07T19:54:00.003-05:00

Grrrrr.... I left the camera at home. I'm sooooo pissed, I totally meant to bring it, but left it on my coffee table on the way out. It would have made an EXCELENT blog of the night.

Pentagram was awesome, and it would have been great to get a few pictures. The singer looks like he's 70 years old, despite the long haired afro that he's sporting. His huge googly eyes were just creepy, and his Mick Jagger "chicken on acid" antics were hilarious. Turns out they hardly changed the main room at all since the days of The Ritz. I mean not even a new paint job. It was really cool seeing a real metal act back there. They did add a smaller dance room and a lounge bar downstairs... I thought the whole place was re-habbed... but that's not the case.

Met up w/ Anthony and long lost brother Barney Rubble (hadn't seen him in many years). So that's another set of pics I wish I got.

Next, off to Otto's Shrunken Head Tiki Bar... a heavy metal tiki bar on 14th St far East by Stuy-town. They have a back room w/ live music (saw Matty play there before). We caught this AMAZING act... a rockabilly trio called the High Octane Band. Stripped down drum kit, hollow body guitar, and stand up base. Dudes looking all hep-cat w/ big sideburns and greased back hair. They were FANTASTIC. They broke into some Johny Cash songs, and in the middle of Fulsome County Prison, without changing a note or a beat, they break into "Ever since I was a young boy, I played the silver ball. From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all..." Yes... PINBALL WIZARD... with just a few pauses added here or there, the lyrics fit perfectly. I forget the other Johny Cash song they did, but they broke into The Yardbirds' "Train Kept a Rollin'" in the same manner... didn't change what they were playing at all, just squeezed in the other song's lyrics. And they ended w/ a fairly obscure song from The Clash called "Brand New Cadilac". I always loved that song... "Balls to you daddy... I ain't never comin' back."

and here's the Yardbirds...

So again, missed pics.

Finally, on train platform, this black dude is strumming the acoustic guitar mic-ed up through a mini amp. He breaks out these slow moody rock numbers... one was "Loosing My Religion". I was amazed cuz my prejudice mind told me I should expect Motown from this guy.

All this fun and excitement and still home before 1am. Only in New York I tell ya. If only I had the pics... it would have been awesome.

Alexandra Pelosi

2009-02-20T19:54:00.003-05:00

Daughter of San Francisco Senator Nancy Pelosi, Alexandra calls herself a New Yorker. She recently had some success creating some documentaries, two of which I caught on HBO. I thought both were excelent.

The Trials of Ted
The Trials of Ted is a series of brief interviews with Ted Haggard, the evangelist who fell from grace. Ted fell from the highest of highs in the Televangelist community when it came out that he was having gay sex with a male prostitute while high on meth. Prior to this he was able to command audiences with US Presidents, world leaders, and giants of the business world. He filled a huge stadium several times a week and was televised to millions of loyal viewers.

Pelosi did what I believe is an honorable job on this work. She does not inject herself into the story. She mostly asks some basic obvious questions to Ted and lets him give honest thoughtful answers. Of course she has the god-like power of editing, but I think the result was very fair. It is not a hatchet job exposing Ted's blatant hypocrisy. It really just shows a sad and broken man who lost everything, who is trying to find work to support his family. He seems to have a very realistic and reasonable outlook on his situation, and seems honestly sorry for his actions... not just the fact that he got caught. While his bigger than life persona is no longer projecting from the pulpit, he generally still keeps the bigger than life smile on his face. He still believes in God, believes in the Bible, believes that homosexuality and drug use is unholy and wrong. He does admit that he continues to struggle, on occasion, with same sex attraction. Unlike every other time I saw this guy, when I thought he was lying through his teeth, in this work he is completely believable. I wory that he might kill himself, and after seeing this, I would be sad if that happens. Now I see him as a person, not a characature of the Religious Right.

Right America: Feeling Wronged: Some Voices.
Remember toward the end of the presidential race when the McCain rallies were getting more rowdie and unmanageable? This documentary takes you into the heart of "Real America" during the height of those last few weeks. Pelosi asks random people at the McCain rallies some basic questions like "Why won't you vote for Obama?", "How will you feel about America if McCain looses?" and some simple follow ups like "What's the 'Real America'?" when it comes up in their answer.

She was kind enough to begin the documentary with a disclaimer saying that the following oppinions don't necessarily relfect the entire Republican party. And once again, bear in mind she is the final editing deity. So at first it is easy to assume that this one IS a hatchet job. The people are blathering on about the most ridiculous stuff imaginable... he's a Muslim, he works for Ossama Bin Ladin, He's not a full blooded American, and yes... he's a nigger. Several times, you hear Pelosi say "people are gonna think I hand picked the worst comments", and she askes people "do you think your view is extreme, or is this common around here?" I'm convinced that what she put on screen are all fairly typical reactions. Of course she's gonna put on the more flamboyant characters, but I don't think she really stacked the deck much. However, I don't think the deck was necessarily shuffeled in the first place being these were mostly people at a John McCain rally.

I think she puts herself into this moreso than in the Ted Haggard piece. She doesn't argue her point of view, except to the extent that she sometimes asks a follow up question that sometimes challenges the prior answer. But mostly she just lets the camera run and lets the people speak their mind.

Going back to Cali

2009-02-20T15:52:00.000-05:00

Yet another movie review

2009-02-17T19:43:00.003-05:00

OK, I know I'm reporting on a lot of movies, but I had to report on this one. In contrast to the complaint I had to Roadside Prophets, I just saw it's polar opposite.

Last Summer in the Hamptons
This movie was a tribute to method acting. It is performed by method actors and is also about method acting. The premise is that a matriarch of the cinema, who co-stared opposite Errol Flynn and Ronald Regan, has raised her family in theater. The entire family is composed of actors, directors, and playwrites. They all converge on her estate in the summer time, which becomes a sort of actors workshop. So it's sort of a snake eating it's own tale... the characters in the movie are playing actors who are working and talking about acting. To make it interesting, and ultra-realistic, this family of actors are all completely screwy. Not madcap screwy, but full of vices, insecurities, and self-centeredness that is so common among theater people. And just to add to the mix, there are a few characters from outside the family visiting the estate who similarly have their own screwed up agenda and vices. Everybody seems to be preying on somebody else, and manipulating the situtation as best they can to achieve their own goals.

While this may be too "Inside the Actors Studio" for most people, the acting is truly remarkable. The characters switch between their roles and their roles within roles flawlessly.

More Movies

2009-02-17T00:08:00.003-05:00

I'll try to keep my movie reviews skewed toward positive. I'm sure nobody really wants to know what movies NOT to see... especially if they are obscure movies that you are not likely to stumble across. Well, I'll start that practice AFTER this posting. I've got two bad, one great, and one good.

Roadside Prophets
A 1992 indi-flick, I was hoping this would be cool. It had a good look and a good cast. David Horovits (yes, the Beastie Boy), David Caradine (yes, Qui Chang Kane), Woody Guthrie (yes, Alice's Restaurant), Timothy Leary (yes, LSD guru), John Cusack (yes, the guy from whatever the heck he's in)... several others... this should have been awesome. The plot could have worked as a vehicle for all this talent... a factory worker biker meets a guy for a few hours when he dies a sudden and bizzare death. So the biker tries to honor his last request by taking his ashes to some location in the Navada deasert. He has trouble locating this place, but meets some strange people on the journey. Unfortunatley the acting is mostly terrible... almost every character is un-believable. Nobody is "in the moment"... they're all acting. You know the basic rule... don't ACT like your smoking a cigarette... SMOKE the cigarette. Well in this movie everybody is ACTING like they're smoking the cigarrettes. The journy leads up to a big let down, and then peeters off from there. On the one hand, this tried to be "Easy Rider", on the other it tried to be "Repo Man". But the characters where not believeable or likeable like "Easy Rider", and the bizzare surreal obscure nature did not rise to "Repo Man".

I will say, there were two encounters that actually did work. There's the black hotel guy who shares a bottle of Wild Turkey... he gave a believeable and poinient performance. Also the meat seller... a bizare character in the middle of the deasert who sells meat. Again, a believeable and poinient performance, dispite the obscure situation.

Don't waste your time on this one. Not worth the big waste of time for about three minutes of good acting... which is a shame because the whole thing could have been great.

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Idiocracy
I should have seen this comming. I'm so done with comedy based purely on stupidity. But at the very least, the stupidity should be clever... like Black Adder or Faulty Towers. I was hoping for more from Mike Judge (of Beavis and Butthead fame)... especially since he has done some clever things, like Daria. But this was just pure stupidity with a scoop of dumb on top. Mya Rudolf (of SNL fame) was cute, but this did not show off her great tallent for comedy. Don't wast your time. Watch C-SPAN... it's funnier.

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Being John Malcovitch
YES YES YES !!! I know everybody else in the world has seen this movie, and have told me many times that I HAVE to see it. Well OK, I finally saw it. This was fantastic. I didn't want to see this movie until I had seen John Malcovicth in some other movies first, because I didn't think I'd GET it. Well I finally did catch him in a few others, and felt comfortable watching this. Well it turns out that part of the gimmic in this movie is that most people don't really know what JM was in anyway... so there was definitely no need to wait. By now I had already known the basic plot... you go through this little door and start to see and feel everything that JM sees and feels... so you actually get to BE JM. But the cool part is what the DO with this bizzare situation. They use that a jumping off point to explore self identity and personal realationships. And the whole idea of the puppetteer expressing his deep feelings through some of the coolest marionettes EVER was fantastic. They probably milked the concept a bit much towards the end when the old dude and his friends were all trying to be John Malkovitch, but I guess it tied everything up in a nice bow... though I don't know if they really HAD to do that being it was such a bizzare situation in the first place.

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Roger Dodger
I like this one, but I realize it's not for everybody. No big budget, no special effects, no action... just an indi-flick using NYC as a backdrop and some interesting dialouge. It might be a little to wordy for some, but I kinda like that. It's basically a male chauvanist who is too smart for his own good, and tries to impress everybody with his hyper-knowlege of women. Despite the fact that he seems to know everything, he is clearly unhappy and lonely. It gets more interesting when his 16 year old nephew shows up, and in one night he tries to teach him how to get laid. He spends the rest of the movie giving him advice on how to score, and the kid gets amazing amount of action for a 16 year old nerd right off the turnip truck. It ends with an interesting "leave it up to the audience" sort of cliff hanger. Well, baybe not a cliff hanger, but something akin to a cliff hanger. Good performance by Isabella Rossilini, who I like, but I don't now why some people think she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I do like the fact that she does indi-films, fantasy roles (like Merlin?), and even dresses as a Bumble Bee in a documentary about the sex lives of insects. It makes me think she's down to earth, dispite the fact that some people would put her on a pedastal.

Friday Night Fox Lineup

2009-02-14T00:04:00.002-05:00

I'm pleased with the action based lineup on Friday nights.

Sarah Conners
OK, I'm a bit confused. Last thing Sarah saw a helicopter landing w/ three lights underneath. Now she wakes up in the hospital. Did the copter pick her up? Was there a copter? Who owned that warehouse? I guess they had the supply of the metal used to make the Chromarty style robot? Oddly enough, Garbage Terminator Chick took out the whole facility. Why? What IS her deal???

Sarah hallucinated Reese who talked her through a difficult time... that's pretty cool for a woman who is clearly beyond the brink of madness. Uncle scruffy takes out most evidence of Sarah's existence... except they still have her cell phone. Abused female doctor was willing to patch her up, and now she's not sure if anything Sarah said was true or not. And special guest appearance by TRIP from Voyager. At fist you think he's a good cop, turns out he abused doctor chick and got his come-up-ance.

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Doll House

I like the concept. What other Sci-Fi story dealt heavily with not knowing if your past is real or just memory implants? It's been bugging me, but I just remembered it was Blade Runner. I'm sure there are dozens of others, but that's the one I was thinking of.

OK, I can see how you could mess w/ somebody's eyesight by scrambling their brain functions, but asthma? Sounds a bit more physiological to me... and even if you COULD do it mentally, does the inahler help?

Tech boy in the lab reminds me a bit much of Bionic Woman from this year... only lasted about 5 weeks. Too bad, I liked that show.

Not sure what was going on at the end, though. Some dude was watching video of her from before she was wiped? Who is he? What does he want? I'll stay tuned.

Ignoring minor flaws, it was a cool show... cool concept, good execution, hot chicks, and lots of action.

Next Two Movies

2009-02-13T20:07:00.004-05:00

These two looked good, so I snapped them onto the DVR. Now I want those 4 hours back. Sorry I can't give you any "Must See" recomendations at this time. Just take these as a warning...

Restoration

With an all star cast staring Robert Downy Jr., and with enticing plot elements such as hedonism and The Black Plague, I really wanted to like this movie. Set in the 1600s under Charles II, Robert Downy plays an undisciplined physician who is frustrated by the ineffective state of medicine at the time, and spends his time drinking and whoring. However, he just so happens to be the best damn healer in England. At several times during the movie, this is shown by him telling patients "Get some rest, and let nature take it's course." And as these several patients seem to gasp their last breath and close their eyes forever, he says "That's it... there's nothing more I can do." (thus admitting his failure) Each time, a few seconds later, they start breathing again, as it cuts to a scene were the patient has recovered completely. Oh, and one of those patients was the King's DOG.

The King rewards him with a large estate equipped w/ servants and concubines, fine royal gardens, and all the carnal pleasures a man could want. Then the King requires that he marry the King's mistress, but not touch her, so he can keep tabs on her at this remote location.
Yadda yadda yadda... King gets mad, takes estate from him, he's out on his own and goes back to doctoring. Joins up w/ some Quakers who run a mental hospital, and he decides (Patch Adams-wise) to cure the mentally ill with music and dance, rather than blood letting. Really. Seriously. Music and dance.

He knocks up Meg Ryan who was not necessarily crazy, just mad at her dead husband. They split the Quaker sanitarium and go back to London just as The Plague is hitting. Oh, and somewhere along the line, there's a scene where they play Three Card Monty. Huh? What? Why in the world did this movie need a Three Card Monty scene? It didn't make any sence. It had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING. They just thought that they should stop by a camp in the woods for a few games of "Find the Lady". Eventually he has to perform a C-section on poor Meg, who doesn't survive. So it's now Robert Downy and his infant daughter and the entire city of plague ridden London.

Finally, surprise surprise, he saves the Kings mistress (not from plague, but from whatever ailed her) and King gives him back the estate. Half of London burns, thus curing them of the plague. (Huh? Really?)

Sir Ian McKellan, Hue Grant, Meg Ryan, and probably eight other HUGE names, plus all the production value in the world couldn't polish this turd. The costumes, the fine jewelry and crowns, the elegant English gardens, the patient with a hole in his chest so RDjr can touch his heart... all technically perfect. But the movie was just plain old stupid.

Pussycat, Pussycat, I Love You

I've been meaning to catch this for a long time. Set in Rome in the height of the sixties, this madcap farce was definitely one of the sexiest movies at the time. There was a combination of sexual inuendo and just blatent sex... though by today's standards it would hardly even rate PG-13. Nudity was limited to one instance of a woman's bare behind and lots of cleavage. It's a comedy of errors involving a playright who is cheating on his wife with several women. It reminded me of the old Pink Panther movies... except not really funny. Some of the comedy was based on non-reality... like his typewriter decides to eject his paper... so there's a long scene where he keeps trying to put paper in, but it keeps pushing it out. He yells at it and threatens it. Then the typewriter types out "This machine will self destruct in 5 seconds" as the Mission Impossible music kicks in. Oh, and there was a gorilla who says "I love you".

With some old sixties movies, at least you get a good sound track. Maybe something from the realm of psychedelia. Sorry, this had madcap comedy versions of Tom Jones type music... including "What's New Pussycat" (Burt Bacharach). The sound track was total squaresville. Stuff that some wanna-be THOUGHT was groovy, but NOBODY in San Francisco would be caught dead listening to. There was one groovy psychedelic discoteque scene (one of my favorite movie cliches), but it was more like an episode of Laugh In where they play music, then cut to somebody telling a joke.

Finally a big chase scene at the end, and they milked it... and milked it... and milked it. They used the same gag over and over... the whole entourage is in a horse drawn wagon running away from the police through a movie set... then there's two shakesperian swordsman... and they whole crew breaks right through their scene. OK.. funny. THEN there's two mexicans in the street having a shootout... and again, crew breaks through their scene. THEN there's two knights having a sword fight... same thing. I was begging for it to be over.

Also, this was another example where half the movie is clumsy people bumping into each other and falling on the floor. Who ever thought that was funny?

I was hoping for Mad Mad World... or Wild in the Streets... or Wonderwall... or Head... but nope, this movie was NOWHERE. A real stinker.

Big Bang Theory

2009-02-02T21:50:00.002-05:00

You can see my objections to sit-coms in an earlier post. These all apply to Big Bang Theory as well. But let me add one more horrific construction employed by many sit-coms... the laugh track. If you need a recording to tell you when to laugh, then something is wrong. It is especially heinous on The Big Bang Theory. That canned laughter is so unnatural... it's uproarious laughter for about a quarter of a second, then back to silence. I find it completely distracting.

Some shows have done away with the laugh track, and may have suffered for it. The public has been trained to laugh when they hear laughter. Shows like Sport Center, 60 Sunset Strip, and others just let the funny lines hang out there and you can decide if the joke was funny or not. Personally, I prefer that... but I suppose the funny lines better be funny enough, or it might sound awkward.

Anyway.... Bing Bang Theory is definitely a funny show. Once again I'm embarrassed at how all the jokes are about how geeky these guys are... but they seem almost normal to me. Tonight it seemed like they were playing Talisman. The board was definitely the same size, shape, and layout as Talisman, but the pieces were different than the onese we use. They were cutouts shaped in the silouette of the characters, not all rectangular cards. It was hard to see the characters, but there was definitely one big huge frog. They also said "We're penetrating the region of fire to get the crown !!!" And one guy drew a card and said "Hey, I got a sword."

Great Batman Movie

2009-02-02T21:21:00.002-05:00

I always liked the Batman Beyond series where Batman is old and sends out young Terry McGuinness in the high tech batman suit. This new Batman has appeared in some of the other DC cartoons like Justice League and Justice League Unlimited (when they do time travel into the future).

Well Cartoon Network ran a movie length special, Batman Beyond: The Joker Returns. Fans of Batman Beyond won't be disappointed with this. It was totally evil with a surprising amount of death and destruction. But even cooler, they go into some back story. The series already expanded on the Batman mythos, but this one filled in some gaps. I wonder how consistent it is with the comic books.

Arrested Development

2009-02-02T17:10:00.004-05:00

So while looking at Juno on IMDB I noticed that the adoptive father and the nerdy boyfriend were both in the sit-com "Arrested Development". I checked out HULU.com and found they have three seasons of it. Hey, it lasted 3 seasons at least, so I figure it might have some merit to it. I watched the whole first season and I'll give it a good grade.

It started out with a few strikes against in in my book. I guess I'm not a fan of the sit-com genera. The general formula is so damn played out. This one is very typical in a lot of respects. The name of the genera says it all... situation comedy. They make some contrived situation, introduce you to the several peronalities, and then each week show how each personality will react to the situation. Basically I see right through the character and see an actor playing that character. I can almost hear them saying "How would Lindsay react in this situation?"... "What would George say now?"

Strike two is that I came to the realization a few years ago that too much comedy is based on stupidity. What would a stupid person do now? How would a stupid person react to this? It's been done to death in "Black Adder", "Faulty Towers", "Three's Company", and a bazillion others. While it could still be funny, I think it's just lazy. Instead of thinking of something really clever, you just have to think of something stupid instead... and pretend you're being funny.

And finally, if the characters are so unrealistic that I just can't relate, then I loose any interest in them. Who cares what predicament they get themselves in... it's all just completely fake anyway. No, I need to be convinced that this situation is, on some level, at least possible before I can get attached.

This show has all that going against it, yet they still manage to pull it off. Each episode has well scripted plot with twist, turns, and irony. They do all sorts of call backs... punch lines to earlier situations are used again in completely different situations. Different characters keep using the phrase "I made a terrible mistake" in very different situations. Lots of situations where a character will say something completely inocuous, but it comes back as a central them later on. Also, each episode ends with "Next time on Arrested Developement..." and they show one or two short clips as if they were from the following show, but they never are... they're just sort of punch lines that were set up during the current show.

They have a great cast, too. You keep seeing people popping up that you know from various comedy venues... like Amy Poler (SNL, Upright Citizen's Brigade), Kevin McDonald (Kids in the Hall), Tony Hale (Mr. Show, Upright Citizen's Brigade), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld) and lots of others. The only other disapointing thing was that they son played almost the same character as he does in Juno... soft spoken, nerdy, un-confident kid. Makes me wonder if he can act.

All in all, I would say give this show a try.

Latest Two Movies

2009-01-26T16:47:00.003-05:00

OK, two movies from total opposite ends of the spectrum. Only thing they have in common is that I happen to watch them this weekend. Also, they both involve strong spirited women.

First up... Juno.
I was avoiding this flick like the plague... who want's to see an after school special about a pregnant teen? I was told that it's not like that, and that it really is a good movie. So the verdict... GREAT MOVIE. Not judgmental, not preachy, not a major downer... but didn't shy away from any of the important aspects of the situation. Possibly s0me of the greatest acting I've seen in a long time. Each character was 1000% believable. Ellen Page was awesome as Juno. The character of Juno was totally cool too (favorite band?... tied between The Stooges, Patty Smith, and The Runaways). Dad, Step Mom, and female best friend were all great. And her geeky boyfriend was an awesome character. I've seen enough clips from the movie that I had an idea what I was in for, but I was not aware of the whole dynamic with the adoptive parents. They played those roles PERFECTLY !!! The best line was "I was just dealing with issues WAY beyond my maturity level."

Geeky folk rock (actually anti-folk... yes that's a genre) worked well. Can't really tolerate Moldy Peaches on their own, but in context it worked. Good for them that they got a big score w/ this sound track.

OK, next up... The Taming of the Shrew
Yes, switching it up to a 1967 version of Shakespeare's classic staring Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. I enjoyed the acting, though some of it was clumsy... I mean really, clumsy servants bumping into each other... supposed to be funny, but really just looks clumsy. The costumes and textures were good, showing the juxtaposition of the wealthy vs the poor. All in all, a good rendition.

HOWEVER... what a heaping pile of dung this play is. I'm simply offended by the plot. The whole thing is a homage to Stockholm Syndrome. If your woman has an independent spirit, tear her down and treat her like dirt until she submits and becomes your slave. Then parade her in front of the aristocracy.

It's especially disturbing because Petrucio (Richard Burton's character) is such a stinking drunken louse that he's the last guy in the world to deserve a faithful subservient wife. He only marries her for the dowery in the first place. In the end, he gets the dowery and gets a hot slave for a wife. At several times during the story, you think perhaps she is going to end up taming him... or perhaps they will arive at a mutual respect. But no, this shrew was truly psychologically broken and is now a pathetic shell of a person... and this is heald up as a virtue. At the end, he has her to the point where he points to the sun and says "Look how the moon shines" and she happily agrees that the moon looks lovely. Then he says "You stupid woman, that's the sun" and she's like "My appologies my lord, I was confused... yes it is the sun." It ends with the most pathetic speech by Katharina where she tells the other wives how it is their duty to kneel before their husbands and put their hands beneath their husband's feet.

I really wanted to get behind this in a manly kind of way... but it was just too offensive.

Jury Duty - Day 2

2009-01-14T15:41:00.002-05:00

Just a quick wrap up. This morning they picked another 20 people and went through the same process. This time it went a whole lot quicker, but still there were some freakazoids on the panel. It seems that everybody wants to be in the spot light, wants us to think they are something special, that their stupid little nuanced opinions are relevant.

Just two stories worth noting...

There was one lady who went through all the questions and then when the judge was six people down the line she raised her hand and said "I just remembered... I was accused of possession of Marijuana back in 1968." The whole room was in stitches. The judge even got uncharacteristically ironic and said "Oh, then you better step down now." The prosecutor had to have a go at it just for laughs... he said "Do you have anything you want to add about that Marijuana incident from 1968?" And instead of saying "No, nothing really"... instead she starts telling the whole story "Well, it was in central park. I was in high school..." He had to say "OK, thanks that's enough."

I didn't bring up this a-hole from yesterday, but he annoyed me enough that I'll mention him now. He's an old Yippie, by appearance. You know, somebody who was probably a political activist in 1968 when he was 20 years old. He's definitely the guy who wants to push the boundaries and test the system. He was NOT selected in either jury panel... was just in the court room w/ the rest of us as a possible replacement. As soon as one of the prospective jurors had a personal sidebar w/ the judge, and everybody's attention is on the sidebar... he walks right up to the jury box, completely unnoticed by the judge, the lawyers, or any court officers. He asks one of the people who already answered the questions if he could have her laminated question sheet. She's like, OK... HERE. And he walks back to his seat. Now, I don't think anything wrong occured during that exchange, but I KNOW the judge and court officers would not have let him do that.

Also, during one of the breaks, when EVERYBODY is still out in the hall, and the sign on the door says "JURORS, Please wait in the hall until court officer brings you in"... he acts stupid, pretends he thinks he's late and everybody is already in the room, and he opens the door and sticks his head in. It was really a pathetic "LOOK AT ME" kind of move. He has to say "Sorry, I thought everybody was back in the room now."... even though all 80 people are standing right there in the hall near the door.

Then today, he seems to disagree w/ an answer given by one of the prospective jurors... so he starts having a fit raising his hand and waving it in the air and clearing his throat so the judge will notice him. I don't know if she saw him, but she definitely didn't acknolege him at all.

And the final dick move of all... when we all go back into the main jury room, and they announce that they are realeasing us, and they tell us to keep the completion notice as proof that we served... this dickhead raises his hand and askes "Excuse me, did you say we should KEEP the completion notice?" WTF !!!! No dickhead, they said you should wipe your ass with it!!!

Soooo... botom line... one and a half days of jury duty. Won't be called back in New York City or State for SIX YEARS !!! Also, waved from federal jury duty for four years. And even those who did get selected, in this case anyway, will probably be in court for three days.

Not a bad deal all around. Must cost the tax payers a fortune, though.

Jury Duty - Day 1

2009-01-13T18:47:00.005-05:00

What a day... what a system... what a cross section of New York...

I can go to jail for what I"m about to say in this post... but fuck 'em. They'll NEVER take me alive !!!!

So I'm called to court. Turns out I'm in New York County Criminal Court. New York County = Manhattan and Roosevelt Island. Summons says to show up at 8:45. At about 9:45 they start the orientation schpeel (lesson learned... don't EVER show up on time). Multiple warnings about no cell phones or blackberries if you go into the court room.

About 11:15 they call names out of the drum... 80 names. Yup... 80. That includes me. All 80 of us stand out in the corridor for 20 minutes until they open the doors to the court room (right across the corridor from the jury room). On our way in, court officers instruct us to turn off pagers and blackberries. Once seated, Judge askes some general questions and excueses two people who claim they don't meet the Judges requirements. From the remaining 78 people, they do a 2nd drum drawing and select 24 people (not me). The remaining 54 people stay in the court room in case anybody is dismissed from the jury, they will pull more from this pool. Meanwhile, court officers are wandering around telling people "Sir, you have to turn off that device."... and people are saying "Wait... just a second... I just have to..." UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE !!! They simply can't go w/o their fucking blackberries... and they think it's OK to try to reason with the guy.

Prosecutor, two defense lawyers, and defendant are introduced. Indictment is read. Dude (definitely a thug) is accused of Assault in the 2nd Degree. On [such and such] night at 1am on 126th St, he allegedly "hit somebody with an object, to wit something heavy, causing him harm." That's pretty much verbatim.

Judge passes out laminated sheets w/ 9 questions to the 24 prospective jurrors, but instructs us all to stop doing anythign else and pay attention because we may end up as one of those 24 prospective jurrors. Court officers tell more people to shut off their cell phones and blackberries.

First guy hems and haws a bit about "not sure if I can be objective, but I'll try"... judge says "try isn't good enough. Can you promise that you will be objective and follow my instructions and apply the law as I describe it? You need to say yes or no. You can say no... it's not a problem... but you have to give a definite answer." He mans up and says "Yes, I can do that. No problem." OK, that's the first guy... so now EVERYBODY knows this... right? (riiiiight!!!!)

Next guy whips through the questions no problem... "1 - live in upper east side for 21 years. 2 - I'm a dentist. 3 - don't have physical or mental reason why I can't serve. 4 - don't know any police personally 5 - was never victim of a crime..." etc... Cool... wer'e cooking now.

Next juror... whips through 1 and 2 and then at 3 says... well, I'm on perscription diaretic... so I have to use the bathroom often... like right now. Judge says, OK, let's have court officer escort you into jury room so you can use the bathroom and when you come back we'll continue questions. At which point, she shuffles in to jury room and everybody waits... and waits... and waits... and then finally she comes back, shuffles over to her seat... and Judge anounces, "It's lunch time... let's all take break and meet back here at 2:15". Muther Fucker !!! Why the hell were we waiting for this bitche's bathroom break just to come back and announce lunch. WTF !!!

OK, walk around China Town and Little Itally. Back at 2:15 sharp. Doors open up at 2:40-ish. Back to Jury questions. One dude looks like smart sophisticated educated man, but is clearly a lunatic. "Judge, can I come over and talk to you in person?" "Fist just answer the questions. Where do you live, sir." "Well judge, that's what I don't want to say." "I don't want you to give me your address... just your neighborhood." "Well, I really don't want that revealed in public." "Is it uptown or downtown!!!" "Uptown, your honor." "Fine, next question." Then he went on with no problems for the rest of the standard questions. WTF is the big fucking secret of his neighborhood? He doesn't want us all moving in and making the rents go up?

A few more crazies in the pool... one old timer who was COMPLETELY deaf. Judge asked court officer to go get the hearing aid device for him. Si we wait... and wait... and wait... ok, tries it on. Can you hear me now?? Good!!! Seems to do OK w/ the headphones, and judge says specifically "Be sure to keep those on the whole time so you can hear everything." Two seconds later he take them off.

One lady "I don't think 126th St is a place I'd like to be at 1am. But I though about it over lunch and I can TRY to overlook that." Judge says "You know people do live there, right?" She's like "Yes, I know... it's just not a place I'd like to be."

My (least) favorite lady says "Well, I'm a clinical psycologist, and I have empathy for people." Judge says "Do you think you can be objective, follow my instructions, and apply the law according to the evidence?" Lady then says "Well you know... it's kinda like..." and attemts some kind of non-verbal communication... squinches her face up... shakes her hands on the side of her head and says "It's like... you know... ". Judge says "I'm sorry. I didn't understand your comment. Can you be clear in your answer?" Again she squinches her face up... shakes her hands on the side of her head and says "It's like... sort of... yeah..." Judge says "Yeah? What are you agreeing to when you say 'Yeah' ?" Lady says, "well, I'm a clinical psychologists and I have empathy for people". This goes on for seven fucking minutes... "Can you apply the law as instucted"... "Maybe... I can try my best..."

Now appart from the deaf guy in the Jury box, there's another "officially" deaf person still in the jury pool. She brought her own sign language interpreter. The deaf woman looks well dressed and alert... the interpreter looks like she's freaking homeless. But the whole time while she's signing away, she's making the most halarious funny faces like a freaking cartoon character... totally characaturing everthing anybody says... rolling her eyes... sticking her tongue out... making retarded faces every time somebody said something retarded.

THEN... lawyers get up and ask their questions. Prosecutor was consice... asked if anybody had problem with understanding the "beyond a reasonable doubt" burden of proof. Asked if they had a problem if there was no DNA, no video tape, and only ONE witness would testify (which is apparently what will happen). Mystery "uptown" guy has to say "but then we're gonna have to decide if this one guy is telling the truth." Judge says "YES, you certainly will." (it was as close to saying NO FUCKING DUH as a judge will come)

Then court appointed defense attourny takes the podium... apparently right after chearleader practice. What a fucking stupid retard she is. I won't be able to describe the useless job she did. Suffice to say she was supposed to be determining which jurrors would have trouble following "innocent until proven guilty", "prosecutor must make the case, not her or her client", and "prosecutor must make his case BEYOND REASNABLE DOUBT". While attempting to make these points, she ask questions to random people and when they answered she would say "and do the rest of you agree?" There's no way in hell she could have determined who would be able to meet her requirements or not. No way... no how... not the way she was randomly asking questions to random people.

Worst of all, she posed this convoluted three part question to mystery uptown guy... "what if there are multiple charges and they can't prove any of them?" "What if there were mulitple charges and they could prove all of them?" "What if there were multiple charges and they could only prove one of them?"

That's the simplified version... her version was sooo freaking convoluted I swear uptown boy was doing Venn diagrams in his head. He was clearly convinced these were trick questions and thought long and hard about each one... the judge told her to re-state the questions because they were just ridiculous. Then she said them very simply... and uptown guy still had trouble giving the obvious answers... "don't convict on any", "convict on all", "convict only on the one." This was just tooooo dificult for the two of them to get straight. There were audible groans in the room as people realized that this poor thug's livelyhood rested in the hands of an idiot... and possibly another idiot in the jury box.

Soooooo... FINALLY... judge tells us all, take 20 minute break. Lawyers will decide who they will keep in the jury, and who will be rejected. 45 minutes later, we go back into the room and they announce they will keep 8 of the 24 jurrors. Yes, 16 were rejected. This concludes today's procedings... all 54 of us have to go back in the morning to fill in the now vacated seats.

BTW: they rejected deaf old timer, uncomfortable w/ 126th street lady, clinical psychologist, and uptown boy. How they picked the other 12 rejections, I'll never know.

Two Movies

2009-01-12T17:56:00.002-05:00

Two I caught on cable over the weekend...

Shaun of the Dead
I agree w/ Butts on this one. It hits the mark on all fronts... great comedy, great zombie movie, great film making. The attention to details was uncanny, especially in the beginning when the slackers were completely unaware of what was going on all around them. I suspect I'm the only one who didn't see this long ago, but if you haven't seen it, go get it now.

I had confused this with an American movie that came out at about the same time... some teenage kids become zombified, sort of a takeoff on the teen movie genre. While that movie was good, Shaun of the Dead is on a whole different level. Hats, heads, and limbs off to Shaun of the Dead.

The Simpsons
Finally caught this one. A must see for Simpsons fans (so probably all of you have already seen it), but don't get your hopes up too high. It's essentially an hour and a half episode of The Simpsons... nothing more, nothing less. Apart from a little more attention to detail in the art work, you get a fairly typical episode. Not that that's a bad thing... I don't know what more I should have expected. And frankly, I wouldn't want them to do something altogether different. It has all the characters you want to see, many references to episodes gone by, and straight up Simpsons hijinx.

Upstate Police Blotter

2008-11-18T12:22:00.003-05:00

The Story
Two charged in safe-nabbing, police say
Updated: Saturday, November 15, 2008 2:40 AM EST

GLENS FALLS - A complaint that a man had stolen a small safe late Thursday from the garage of a Ridge Street home led to the arrest of the man who took it and the man who owned it, police said.

The strange caper began at 11:55 p.m. when Donald L. Johnson, 42, of 171 Ridge St., called police to report that someone had gone into his garage and taken a safe hidden in a cabinet, said Glens Falls Police Sgt. Keith Knoop.

As police looked into the complaint, they determined that Johnson had actually invited the man into his garage to smoke marijuana, then left to walk his dogs, only to return to find the man running away with the safe in which the marijuana was kept, Knoop said.

Johnson told police he didn't know the man's name, but Glens Falls Police officers Shawn Lovelace and Dan Habshi determined he was Rodney M. Degnan, 35, of 116-1/2 Bay Street, Knoop said. The safe was recovered at Degnan's home, with nearly 3 ounces of marijuana inside, according to Knoop. Johnson told police there was also $900 in the lock box, but no money was recovered, Knoop said.

Degnan was charged with the misdemeanors of petit larceny, fourth-degree criminal possession of marijuana, fifth-degree criminal possession of stolen property and fourth-degree criminal mischief, police said.

Johnson was charged with fourth-degree criminal possession of marijuana, police said.

Police learned the two had been drinking together at The Daily Double bar on South Street before going to Johnson's home. Johnson was released pending prosecution in City Court, while Degnan was arraigned in City Court and released on bail bond.

The Sequel
Police: Mower driver on drugs
Glens Falls Ride on lawn tractor brings charges for two men
Updated: Sunday, November 16, 2008 1:52 AM EST

GLENS FALLS -- A Glens Falls man who was arrested Thursday night in connection with charges that he had a safe full of pot stolen from his home was charged early Saturday when police found him driving downtown on a riding lawnmower while under the influence of marijuana, police said.

Donald L. Johnson, 42, of Ridge Street, drew police scrutiny because he had a man riding on the hood of the tractor as he crossed Glen Street near South Street at 12:09 a.m., said Glens Falls Police Sgt. Keith Knoop. Glens Falls Police Officer Seth French approached the men, and found that Johnson appeared intoxicated and admitted he had smoked marijuana, Knoop said. So he was charged with driving while ability impaired (DWAI) by drugs, a misdemeanor, and issued 10 traffic tickets, Knoop said.

Among them were third-degree aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a misdemeanor, which was filed because Johnson's driver's license was suspended for failure to pay child support, police said. He also was ticketed for driving an unregistered and uninspected motor vehicle, not using headlights and not wearing seat belts, among other violations, Knoop said.

The man riding on the hood, Carl W. Critelli, 49, was ticketed for not wearing a seat belt, Knoop said.

A tractor is considered a motor vehicle when it is taken on a public highway. A blood sample was taken to determine if there were any drugs in his bloodstream, police said.

Johnson told police he was taking the tractor to The Irish Pub on South Street, where he planned to sell it for $200, Knoop said.

Johnson also was arrested on a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge Thursday night after he reported a man had stolen a safe from the garage of his home. Police determined the lock box was taken by a man he had smoked marijuana with earlier in the evening, and it was recovered with nearly 3 ounces of marijuana.

Both Johnson and Critelli were released after Saturday's encounter with police.

The Punchline
The safe owner and lawnmower driver is represented by one John Stonner Esq.

Mighty Aphrodite

2008-11-12T14:14:00.002-05:00

If you like Woody Allen movies, this one is good. It's actually fairly typical of Woody Allen movies, dealing with troubled marriage and loss of passion... but as usual, Woody brings his own neurotic flair to the subject, so it's fun and entertaining while dealing with a fairly mundane but uneasy subject.

The thing that makes this movie most interesting is his use of a Greek Chorus. Throughout the movie they keep cutting back to an ancient Greek outdoor auditorium where the masked chorus chants in unison, moving the plot along just like in classic Greek theater. It's a nice and unique touch.

Tuner Classic Movies

2008-11-12T13:48:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to watch some old movies from the 30's, 40's, and 50's on TCM. Some are great, some not so much. Here are a few comments....

Nancy Drew and the Secret Stairs
There is a whole series of Nancy Drew movies with a cute little 15 year old spitfire playing Nancy Drew. I never read Nancy Drew, but I was a bit shocked by this G rated movie. Nancy, with a heart of gold, convinces the two old ladies to donate their mansion to the local hospital. However, they don't officially own the mansion for another two weeks, during which time one of them must remain in the home every night (as per the family will). If they move out before this time, they won't be able to donate the house. Well the neighbor next door wants them to leave the house so a race track will be built on the property, thus making his property more valuable.

Sooo, the neighbor murders the old ladies butler and threatens that they are next if they don't move out. But Nancy, with her heart of gold, tries to convince them that the butler really committed suicide, and there's no reason for them to be affraid and to move out. So she has her friend write a fake suicide note and drops it where the police can findi it.

Call me new-fashioned, but isn't that a bit creepy for a sweet innocent girl to be a) convincing old ladies that a murder was a suicide, and b) planing false evidence for the police.

Similar weird stuff goes on through the whole movie, where sweet little Nancy Drew does ridiculously illegal things that should get her thrown in prison. She also abuses the heck out of her boy friend (well, friend who is a boy... no real romance) and gets him arrested 4 times during the movie. Again, I think it's odd that their is virtually no romance or anything hinted at sexual overtones, but the kids are involved in really evil stuff... and this is all looked at as sweet innocent fun.

--------------------------------

There was a short made entirely of dogs dressed up in human clothes. They use cut frames, probably w/ food or gum in the dog's mouth, and voice overs... sort of like a dog's version of Lance Link Secret Chimp. It was a spoof on the old hard boiled detective genera. They had a flashback to a dog wedding, where a dog was dressed in a wedding gown, a dog was a priest, and dogs were in tuxedoes. They had a series of shots where the detective dog was interviewing witnesses, and each witness was a stereotype... they had a chinese dog, a football player dog, a british dog, and a really effeminate artsy dog... and then the detective dog says "I DON'T BELIEVE IT... A PANSEY !!!" Finally the detective had to rescue a dog who was hooked up to a Rube-Goldberg device that was gonna eventually drop a 2 ton weight on the victim. Unfortunately, the detective dog arives just too late and the victim dog is squashed. The detective just says "Awe... too bad." and they cut to the credits.

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There was a cool Marijuana movie where the one girl is jealous of her older sister who is more beautiful and who marries a sucessful man. She begins to hang with a bad crowd, starts to smoke marijuana, and eventaully becomes the drug kingpin... and is a heroine addict. She gets herself knocked up, and her dealer mobster boss convinces her to sell her baby on the black market. Later, for revenge against her older sister, she kidnapps her sister's daughter asking for a big ransom. Eventually she finds out that it was really her own daughter who her sister bought on the black market. So she kills herself.

The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

2008-11-12T12:51:00.003-05:00

I have nothing but high praise for the movie Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The music, the imagery, and the acting all came together in a perfect culmination of horror and dark humor. Tim Burton was the right choice to create this piece of art. His is unrivaled in the fine art of cinematic imagery. Once again Johnny Depp delivered a spectacular performance... and who knew he could sing?

This was an adaptation of the play, of which I was fortunate enough to see. Not to belabor the differences of the two media, I would like to compare and contrast a few aspects worthy of note.

The play was an Operetta, so virtually all of the dialogue was sung rather than spoken. I was pleased to find that they kept the score written by Stephen Sondheim and minimized the spoken words. The sophisticated timings of his music create the perfect uneasy feeling necessary for this film. The irregular starts and stops envoke a suspenseful aura around the listener.

The only thing I missed from the origianl score from the play was the main Sweeney Todd them where the chorus chants "The tail is told of Sweeney Todd... the demon barber of fleet.... street." Again, it's all bout the timing.

The play got great acclaim for it's scenery. It was a breathtaking stylized view of old London with scenery wheeled on and off stage via mechanized tracks. This was extremely innovative and revolutionary at the time. Thankfully, Tim Burton stepped up to the challenge by recreating his own version of the dark, dank, smokey old world.

One small detail they skipped which which had a big impact at the end of the play was when the boy emerges from the sewer after seeing the most frightful things imaginable. In the play, he comes up with white hair... which I'm told is actually possible in extreme cases of fear. Burton didn't bother with this, and probably didn't need to... but I liked that touch in the play and I think it could have worked here as well.

It should be mentioned that the film is far more gory than the play. There may have been a spurt of blood at one time in the play, but mostly there was only a thrust of the arm w/ the razor in hand accompanied by dramatic lighting. In the film, there are fairly long shots of open throats with blood gushing from the wounds. Perhaps a bit gratuitous, but it works.

And finally, I want to mention Helena Bonham Carter who plays Mrs. Lovett. While last week I didn't know she existed, she has now officially caught my attention. Apparently I've seen her in many roles before, often playing creepy characters, many of which were in Tim Burton creations. She was the bride in the animated Burton film Corpse Bride, was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Big Fish among others. But perhaps her most important role is the evil villainess, Bellatrix Lestrange, in the Harry Potter series.

Sweeny Todd rates high on the list of all time greatest movies. It stands on its own and also holds up proudly when compared to the original play.

The woman behind the man

2008-11-09T15:23:00.003-05:00

No, not Michelle Obama, but Valerie Jarrett. One of the most important people you never heard of.

Click for Wiki

Hired Michelle Obamain 1991, who then introduced her to her fiance Barack.
Was Financial Cair for Obama 2004 Senate campaign.
Is now co-chair of the transition commitee.
Obama is quoted as saying "I don't make any major decisions without asking her about them."

She will be a major influence on national policy, either behind the scene or as a cabinet member.

Lando Chewbacca 08

2008-11-04T14:16:00.003-05:00

That's '08 from a long time ago and a galaxy far far away...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

McCain gets served...

Happy Election Day

2008-11-04T11:48:00.004-05:00

I stuck to my guns and didn't vote for president.

Enjoy the videos. RIP George.

From 1999... I especially like the poem that starts about 2:30 into this clip...

Religulous

2008-10-17T16:35:00.002-04:00

I just saw Bill Mahr's movie, Religulous. I thought it was great, but probably not worth running out to the theater to see. I went just to show support for him, but there's nothing "big screen" worthy.

It's exactly what you would expect from Mahr. A few clips from his comedy routine, a few more biographical clips about HIM, and mostly him going around the country and into Europe (including Israel) to challenge religious people. Mostly, he just asks the obvious questions... do you really believe in a litteral Adam and Eve, do you believe in the "End Times", do you believe in the virgin birth, do you believe God hates gay people, is the Rock in Mecca a meteorite, is Islam a religion of peace, etc. Some people get mad at him, some kick him and his crew off their property, some try to answer his questions. Some do a better job at answering his questions than others.

There was nothing really revelational about this. No new questions, no new answers, no surprises.

Interestingly enough, two of the most rational people were Catholic priests. Both had a very modern and liberal interpretation of the scripture. One was head of The Vatican Observatory. (Yes, the Vatican has an observatory) He stated clearly that the Catholic Church agrees with the scientific evidence that the world is round, that it is billions of years old, and that life evolved from common ancestors. He says that the mission of the observatory is to find verifiable truth... not to find the Aliens and baptise them before the Methodists get their hands on them.

The other priest was a representative of The Vatican who agreed wholeheartedly that The Vatican itself (the building) is pompous, and obviously antithetical to the teachings of Christ. He agreed that Adam and Eve stories, Heaven and Hell stories, and worship of saints are stupid ideas. He even said that there was a pole in Italy where they asked people who they pray to when they need help or guidance, and of all the saints and angels and the like, Jesus Christ was SIXTH on the list.

Also, the guy who plays Jesus in the Florida Theme Park was actually very well schooled in bible theology and was able to come up with somewhat reasonable answers to all of Bill's questions. Bill sort of admitted that to the camear while driving away in the car... but still said that his answers were bullshit. I think that was a cheap shot on Bill's part, getting in the last word without Jesus dude there to answer the challenge.

Soooo... see it if you like Bill Mahr and find his humor entertaining. But you probably want to wait for cable. Or don't see it, you won't be any more or less enlightened.

And finally SPOILER ALERT !!! Don't read any further if you don't want to know the funniest part of the movie....

So Bill goes to Amsterdam to speak to a guy who's religion is Canibas worship. The guy actually says he does not worship Canibas, but uses it to have a religious expirience. The whole interview takes place in a groovy looking den with low lights, comfy pillows, and lots of candles. During the interview they light up and get toasty high (not a surprise, Mahr is open about his pot smoking). You can totally tell that they are both toasty. So Bill does challenge the guy about the religious conotations to getting high. Then all of the sudden Bill screams "Look out, you're head's on fire". For a split second you think he's messing with the guy, but really, this stoned dude leaned back to far and his hair had caught on fire from the candles.

Life on Mars

2008-10-17T01:26:00.005-04:00

No, not a news flash... I'm talking about the TV show.

For some reason, I'm completely fascinated by this show, even though it's a pile of crap sitting on another pile of crap. The plot is simple enough, although it makes absolutely no sense. A modern day NYC police officer, Sam, gets hit by a car while tracking a serial killer. He instantly wakes up in 1973, still a cop in the same precinct... but with groovy clothes. He's still the same age, he's just transplanted 35 years into the past.

He may be lying in the hospital in 2008, and this is all a psychological apparition... but that's not entirely clear. Certain phrases and memories of his modern life keep manifesting themselves in his 1973 life. Also he has glimpses of modern things, like a remote control model of a Mars Rover which he catches out of the corner of his eye, but then disappears.

So, assuming this makes any kind of sense, it should now be a hard boiled "Quinn Martin" type cop show set in 1973. Sort of Dirty Harry meets The Streets of San Francisco in New York. Or, is it a comedy where we get to goof on how silly the fashions and trends were back in the 70s? Or is it a Sci-Fi time travel story? Well they seem to be trying to do all these things at once... and it doesn't work. The cops are stereotypes of the hard boiled 70's mentality, using brutality, planting evidence, making their own rules. There are two famous actors playing cops... the Lieutenant is played by Harvey Keitel, and one of the cops is played by Michael Imperioli of Sopranos fame ("Christafuh").

My biggest problem is w/ Keitel's character, who is such a stereotype... always drinking from a flask, always punching people in the stomach (first thing he does when he meets Sam is punches him in the gut to show who's in charge). But in this episode they have a silly fight where they sort of "bond" by beating each other up. It was just silly... even set to hokey music... so it takes away any semblance of a serious hard hitting show. The only thing that possibly makes this acceptable is that these characters AREN'T REAL... they're just some aspect of Sam's psyche... what he projects onto the 1970's. In which case, I guess un-realistic and inconsistent characterization is actually OK. Or is it? I don't know, I'm just sooo confused.

Of course Sam is dumbfounded, and is still getting used to life without cell phones, or computers, or DNA testing, or any of the modern CSI techniques available. (e.g. "We should have the finger print reports back in four or five weeks, and we'll go from there.")

So why am I bothering with this show? Well it's only the second episode so far, but from a technical point of view, they did some AMAZING work at recreating NYC in 1973. The black and white cop cars w/ the single flashing light on top, the uniforms (including the Police Woman uniform), the cars, the buses, the street lights, the store fronts, the clothes, the old radios... every single detail is spot on. I have no idea how they did it... maybe a sound stage in Canada... but they actually re-built 1973. It may be the ONLY thing this show got right... but boy they got THAT right.

And finally, the show is called "Life On Mars" which was a sweet dreamy David Bowie song, and that tune is a recurring theme in the show. And they keep featuring other songs from that bygone era which peek my attention. No, not Led Zeppelin or The Rolling Stones which you might still hear on the radio today, but The Sweet's "Little Willy Won't Go Home" and Mott the Hoople's "All The Way to Memphis". Stuff that was huge for like six weeks back in 1973 and was never to be heard again.

I'll provide some links to the tunes... also on their official web site they have a "Life on Mars Radio" which streams some tunes from the show. I haven't checked it out yet, but I'll let you know.

So I can't recomend this show, but I will probably keep watching until it gets canceled, which might be in a few weeks. Enjoy these videos anyway...

The SciFi Boys

2008-10-16T20:40:00.007-04:00

I just watched a a documentary called "The SciFi Boys" and I highly recommend it.
Click for IMDB

It covers the field of special effects in the movies through interviews with some of the most accomplished creators of this generation. It is held together through some common themes. Most importantly is the fact that all of the effects wizards, as young boys, were fans of a magazine called "Famous Monsters of Filmland" which was produced by a man named Forrest Ackerman, or known to his readers as Uncle Forry. This gave a voice to the SciFi special effects world with articles about directors, producers, and even makeup artists from the Monster Movie genera. It had a letters page and a section in the back which published photos from the fans who were making their own movies with their mom's 8mm cameras. To a large extent, the film is a tribute to Uncle Forry.

The interviews are great, but even better are the examples of some of the works these geniuses were making as kids. Eventually the primitive works of these children would blossom into Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Terminator, and all the rest.

Being that these people were kids in the late 50s and 60s, they were inspired by the likes of King Kong and all the Ray Harihousen films. As such, much of the content is from that era.

My only issue with the film is that it was hyped as staring George Lucas and Steven Speilberg, while these guys only have about 45 seconds of screen time each. Peter Jackson does have a large part, though. But mostly it's about the hands on technicians who really did the innovative work. It's not a technical "how to" movie, but it does take you into the minds and passions of the special effects artists.

The Man Who Saved the World

2008-10-13T18:35:00.002-04:00

This is a great story I found last week.

The Man Who Saved the World
by Joel Durham Jr.
Oct. 2, 2008

Somehow it took more than twenty years to honor a man who saved us all.

If you were alive on September 26, 1983, when I was 12 years old, you almost didn't make it through the day. If you are too young to have lived that day, you were almost never born.

Accounts vary, as the facts of historical events often become jumbled over the years. What we believe we know for fact, if there is such a thing in history, is that there was a man in a bunker whose inaction saved the world from a full scale nuclear war. His name is Stanislav Petrov, he was a lieutenant colonel in the Soviet Air Defence Forces.

The Soviets, whose scientists were considered extremely honorable and elite human beings, had recently put into place a new system to detect missile launches—first strike type missile launches. The system was largely untested, but with the arms race constantly escalating during the paranoid time of the Cold War, there wasn't always time for second guessing. The Soviet Union and the United States were both desperately keen on keeping the upper hand—as well as maintaining the sickening notion of "mutually assured destruction." MAD. The most appropriate acronym ever in all of history.

Lieutenant Petrov was in a bunker monitoring for what every Soviet feared: a US first strike. To his surprise, it happened. A missile. Another. More. A total, according to some accounts, of five nuclear warheads were dashing toward the Soviet Union.

There were protocols to follow. There were buttons to push. There were launch officers to alert—the only appropriate response to a US first strike was full scale retaliation. As hundreds of Soviet missiles filled the air, the US would have countered with everything it had.

The survivors would be the unlucky ones.

Against Protocol

But Petrov realized something with that new detection system was faulty. His training had taught him that if the United States launched on the Soviet Union, it would launch a massive, devastating barrage. Five missiles did not make sense. The tech, in Petrov's quick and ultimately accurate judgment, was failing.

Petrov didn't push any buttons. He didn't follow protocol. What he did, to save my life and yours and the rest of the world population, was nothing.

He did file a report. According to some accounts, he was to be honored by the Soviet government, but the lobby of scientists realized that such an honor for Petrov would, by proxy, cause a dishonor of the scientists who created the faulty detection system.

So whoever had the power to do so made it all go away. Petrov was reassigned. The launch detection system was repaired. Everything that happened was classified. The man who saved the world left the military on early retirement and quietly settled down with no fanfare.

In 1998, another man who'd been in the bunker with Petrov, Yuriy Vsyevolodich Votintsev, published his memoirs. Word of Petrov's cool headed, nearly action-free heroism finally became known to the world. He's received honors and awards from groups like the Association of World Citizens and even the UN, and there's evidently an independent film about his (in)action that saved us all.

Of course, accounts differ. Some military experts of the former Soviet Union claim that a single man could not start or stop a nuclear war. The militaries of both the US and the USSR had too many checks and balances. Still, it's hard not to shudder if you imagine that Petrov had done what he was supposed to do and reported the launch to his superiors as the faulty detection system evidenced, and the non-event escalated into, well, let's not think about it anymore.

Twenty five years ago last week, a Soviet lieutenant took no action and quite possibly saved us all. When you think of your heroes, remember Stanislav Petrov.

Ah sweet justice

2008-10-09T02:35:00.002-04:00

Richard Fuld punched in face in Lehman Brothers gym

Richard Fuld, the disgraced head of Lehman Brothers, was punched in the face in the office gym amid the bank's collapse.

By Jon Swaine
Last Updated: 9:14AM BST 07 Oct 2008

Mr Fuld, who has been testifying on the financial crisis before the US House Oversight Committee, was attacked on a Sunday shortly after it was announced that the banking giant was bankrupt.

Following rumours that the incident had occurred, Vicki Ward, a US journalist, said "two very senior sources - one incredibly senior source" had confirmed it to her. "He went to the gym after ... Lehman was announced as going under," she told CNBC. "He was on a treadmill with a heart monitor on. Someone was in the corner, pumping iron and he walked over and he knocked him out cold.

"And frankly after having watched [Mr Fuld's testimony to the committee], I'd have done the same too."

"I thought he was shameless ... I thought it was appalling. He blamed everyone ... He blamed everybody but himself."

Lehman Brothers, which was particularly badly hit by "toxic" mortgage debt, filed for bankruptcy last month. Its assets were later bought up by Barclays.

In a robust performance in front of the committee, Mr Fuld said that he would wonder "until they put me in the ground" why the US government had not rescued the 158-year-old firm. He said that regulators were fully aware of its plight well before its collapse.

Mr Fuld said: "I want to be very clear. I take full responsibility for the decisions that I made and for the actions that I took based on the information that we had at the time."

However he faced angry questioning from the committee's members. Henry Waxman, a Democrat, asked: "Your company is now bankrupt, our economy is in crisis, but you get to keep $480 million (£276 million). I have a very basic question for you, is this fair?"

Mr Fuld said that he had in fact taken about $300 million (£173 million) in pay and bonuses over the past eight years.

Biggest Bailout in US History is Passed

2008-10-03T15:15:00.002-04:00

It's official... signed, sealed, and delivered. Did it save the US economy, or did it ruin us with additional debt? History will be the judge.

Congress OKs historic bailout bill; Bush signs it

By JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS and DAVID ESPO, Associated Press Writers 5 minutes ago

WASHINGTON - With the economy on the brink and elections looming, Congress approved an unprecedented $700 billion government bailout of the battered financial industry on Friday and sent it to President Bush who quickly signed it.

"We have acted boldly to help prevent the crisis on Wall Street from becoming a crisis in communities across our country," Bush said shortly after the vote, although he conceded, "our economy continues to face serious challenges."

Underscoring that somber warning, the Dow Jones industrials, up more than 200 points at the time of the House vote, had fallen into negative territory an hour later. They fluctuated as the afternoon wore on.

The final vote, 263-171 in the House, capped two weeks of tumult in Congress and on Wall Street, punctuated by daily warnings that the country confronted the gravest economic crisis since the Great Depression if lawmakers failed to act. There were 58 more votes for the measure than an earlier version that failed on Monday.

"We all know that we are in the midst of a financial crisis," House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio said shortly before casting his vote for a massive government intervention in private capital markets that was unthinkable only a month ago.

"And we know that if we do nothing, this crisis is likely to worsen and to put us into an economic slump like most of us have never seen," he said.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said the bill was needed to "begin to shape the financial stability of our country and the economic security of our people."

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson pledged to begin using his new authority quickly, and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said the central bank would work closely with the administration.

Wall Street welcomed the action, but investors also were buffeted by a bad report on the job market. The Labor Department said employers slashed 159,000 jobs in September, the largest cut in five years and further evidence of a sinking economy.

At its core, the bill gives the Treasury Department $700 billion to purchase bad mortage-related securities that are weighing down the balance sheets of institutions that hold them. The flow of credit in the U.S. economy has slowed, in some cases drying up, threatening the ability of businesses to conduct routine operations or expand, and adversely affecting consumers seeking financing for mortgages, cars and student loans. Some state governments have also experienced difficulty borrowing money.

The House vote marked a sharp change from Monday, when an earlier measure was sent down to defeat, largely at the hands of angry conservative Republicans. A total of 33 Democrats and 25 Republicans switched from opposition to support. Several of the Democrats were members of the Congressional Black Caucus who said presidential candidate Barack Obama had pledged to support legislation easing the burden on consumers if he wins the White House.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain also lobbied for the measure, according to aides who declined to release a list of lawmakers he called.

Following Monday's vote, Senate leaders quickly took custody of the measure, adding on $110 billion in tax and spending provisions designed to attract additional support, then grafting on legislation mandating broader mental health coverage in the insurance industry. The revised measure won Senate approval Wednesday night, 74-25, setting up a furious round of lobbying in the House as the administration, congressional leaders, the major party presidential candidates and outside groups joined forces behind the measure.

In addition, the measure was changed to broaden the federal government's deposit insurance program, and the Securities and Exchange Commission loosened a regulation to ease the impact of the distressed assets on the balance sheet of financial institutions.

Despite occasionally strong criticism of the added spending and tax measures, the maneuvers worked — augmented by a sudden switch in public opinion that occurred after the stock market took its largest-ever one-day dive on Monday.

"No matter what we do or what we pass, there are still tough times out there. People are mad — I'm mad," said Republican Rep. J. Gresham Barrett of South Carolina, who opposed the measure the first time it came to a vote. Now, he said, "We have to act. We have to act now."

Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., another convert, said, "I have decided that the cost of doing nothing is greater than the cost of doing something."

Critics were unrelenting.

"How can we have capitalism on the way up and socialism on the way down," said Rep. Jeb Hensarling of Texas, a leader among conservative Republicans who oppose the central thrust of the legislation — an unprecedented federal intervention into the private capital markets.

It was little more than two weeks ago that Paulson and Bernanke concluded that the economy was in such danger that a massive government intervention in the private markets was essential.

White the main thrust of their initial proposal was unchanged, lawmakers insisting on greater congressional supervision over the $700 billion, measures to protect taxpayers and steps to crack down on so-called "golden parachutes" that go to corporate executives whose companies fail.

Earlier in the week, the legislation was altered to expand the federal insurance program for individual bank deposits, and the Securities and Exchange Commission took steps to ease the impact of the questionable mortgage-backed securities on financial institutions.

In the moments before the vote, Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, pledged "serious surgery" next year to address the underlying causes of the crisis.

If anything, the economic news added to the sense of urgency.

The Labor Department said initial claims for jobless benefits had increased last week to the highest level since the gloomy days after the 2001 terror attacks. The news of the payroll cuts came on top of Thursday's Commerce Department report that factory orders in August plunged by 4 percent.

Typifying arguments the problem no longer is just a Wall Street issue but also one for Main Street, lawmakers from California and Florida said their state governments were beginning to experience trouble borrowing funds for their own operations.

Pelosi said, "We must win it for Mr. and Mrs. Jones on Main Street."

One month before Election Day, the drama unfolded in an intensely political atmosphere.

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus credited Obama with changing their minds.

Reps. Elijah Cummings and Donna Edwards, both Maryland Democrats, were among them. They said Obama had pledged if he wins the White House that he would help homeowners facing foreclosure on their mortgages. He also pledged to support changes in the bankruptcy law to make it less burdensome on consumers.

Obama's rival, Republican Sen. McCain, announced a brief suspension in his campaign more than a week ago to try and help solve the financial crisis.

Republican Rep. Sue Myrick of North Carolina, who switched her vote to favor the measure, said, "I may lose this race over this vote, but that's OK with me. This is the right vote for the country."

The vote on Monday had staggered the congressional leadership and contributed to the largest one-day stock market drop in history, 778 points as measured by the Dow Jones Industrials.

Jousing in Fort Tryon

2008-09-28T19:42:00.003-04:00

I took a walk up to Fort Tryon Park this afternoon to see if I could catch the tail end of the medieval festival. I got there at 4pm and was in plenty of time to see some fun entertainment. Lots of people in costumes, Irish folk singers on the flat bed truck (No Nay Never !!! No Nay Never No MOOOORE !!!), a fenced off area where a falconer had his birds on perches w/ the hoods over their eyes (and a couple of dachshund dogs scurrying around to scare off stray birds I guess), even a guy strumming his guitar singing Irish shanties near the food line.

I got to the main jousting area in time to see the end of one act... a funny exhibition of tortures and executions. They had a guy on a bed of nails, and they put a melon on his chest and sliced it in pieces w/ a sword... and the swordsman was blindfolded at the time.

Next up was a Pipe and Drum team who should have played a lot more... they just marched around the area once... took about 3 minutes. Then out came a Celtic dance team of about 7 lasses. Very graceful and lovely in their period costumes and rings of flowers in their hair. Funny thing was before the act, I saw one of them walking along the path signaling to the sound man that she's got something... there she was in full costume at waving her iPod w/ the RCA cables attached. A bit of an illusion breaker, but what the hell... it's NYC after all.

And then finally the main event... the Joust. Oh, but no... that had to wait until a bunch of MORONS in suits got up to the podium to give their thank you speeches, thanking the Mayor (who was not there), the local council members, the parks department chief, etc etc etc. At least four people came up to prattle on to a crowd that just wanted to see the horses. One jackass started telling stupid medieval riddles... "Where to you park your camels? Camelot. Why was King Arthur's table round? So nobody could back him into a corner." Yeah... it was THAT BAD. And it wasn't one or two jokes, this guy kept it up for five minutes.

Finally the joust got under way. I'm glad to see that Professional Wrestling was alive and well back in the middle ages. The balsa wood lances all split according to plan, the bad guy snuck up on the good guy and whacked him across the back w/ a big stick, and finally the good guys triumphed in the end. The whole joust, including target whacking and ring catching, didn't take more than 20 minutes... but it was enough action for everybody to see what they needed to see in a joust.

It was a bit awkward at the end, as the horses are trotting out, and all the actors are leaving, a few actors came out and did a bit of a fight that didn't seem to fit in w/ the rest of the show. It was cool though... a young female swordsman was fighting a heavy guy who looked like a dark wizard. He was in black, w/ a black cape and an evil looking armor helm. He blocked and parried her attacks with the help of his shield, but finally she got him in the gut. But before he went down for the count, he "used the force" to throw her backward, and was about to go in for his own crushing blow when another young swordsman jumped in and took him out. Then two more poeple came out and said they would take him prisoner and everybody walked off the field. It was soo wierd, because there were "squires" packing up the lances and the jousting grear all over the place, as if the show was over... and they were not even acknowledging this wizard/swordsman battle right next to them.

So.... all in all it was a great two hours in the park. Luckily there was no more than a quick drizzle of rain while I was there.

2008-09-07T20:41:00.002-04:00

Just finished Matt Ruff's book, "Set This House in Order". I did not like it as much as his other three books, " Sewer, Gas, @ Electric ", " Bad Monkeys ", and Fool on the Hill ". The main character in this book has multiple personalities. I have always found this topic fascinating. In this book, rather than try to reintergrate the various personalities into one dominant primary one the character has opted to create a house in his mind where the souls can dwell together if not happily, than at least peacefully. It was written well enough, but the story never really gelled. The complexities and pain of this disorder is dealt with, but often it seems plot driven, and occasionally in a facile manner. It wasn't a bad book, but not as good as his other ones.

Which Demographic Will Win This Election

2008-09-06T16:22:00.000-04:00

Oh God I love The Onion !!!

Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

Marriage/Relationship In Trouble? Get A DVR!

2008-09-04T02:05:00.001-04:00

Well J-man told me that his DVR and the toothpaste tube with the built in cap saved his marriage.

Study: DVRs save relationships

By Andrew Wallenstein

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Digital video recorders don't just save TV shows, according to a new survey; they save relationships.

Some 79 percent of 1,000 DVR owners reported that the technology has improved their relationship, according to the NDS DVR Report.

The statistic was just one of many presented by NDS, a manufacturer of DVR technology, suggesting the machines are becoming increasingly integral in U.S. households.

For instance, DVRs were cited as the second most essential household technology item they can't live without, second only to the mobile phone. Among non-technological household items, DVR was beaten out only by washing machine and microwave oven.

"The results show how fast the DVR has become an indispensable part of many people's lives in the US," said Steve Tranter, vice president, broadband and interactive delivery, NDS Americas. "It's one of those technologies that, once you use it, it makes you wonder how you coped before."

Bullshit

2008-09-03T02:43:00.004-04:00

I cannot recommend the show Penn & Teller's Bullshit enough.
Not only is it really informative, it's really funny. If you don't have HBO or Showtime or whatever the hell it's on, go to
http://www.surfthechannel.com/show/television/Penn_%26_Teller%3A_Bullshit%21.html
and pick one...anyone. I just watched the show on Global Warming and it was fascinating, as usual. Oh, and really, really vulgar. Penn curses up a storm. Very funny as well. One of my top 5 favorite shows, just because nothing is sacred, which I appreciate.

Raising The Bar

2008-09-03T01:23:00.006-04:00

Can we PLEASE raise the bar on the courtroom drama? If you listen carefully, I think you can actually hear Perry Mason crying.

OK I admit it. I'm a fan of the courtroom drama genera, and I like most of Steve Bochco's work, so I had to give this one a look see for myself.

Gag... barf... puke... spit... choke...

Even this cutie Latina doesn't scratch the surface of making this show watchable.

If you really need an explanation, it's a re-hash of the old and tired LA Law theme, except set in New York and DUMBED DOWN... which is a feat in itself. The characters are all stereotypes... the selfish judge (played by Malcolm in the Middle's mom), the corrupt District Attorney who will do anything for a win, the young good looking lawyers who are starry eyed and naive and are disheartened by the corrupt system... which is apparently run by Cruella DeVille and The Heat Miser.

One young lawyer is willing to be put in jail for contempt of court while the judge and DA swear that if his client wasn't guilty of this, he must have been guilty of something else. Oh yeah... and all the pretty lawyers are fucking. And then the zinger... the evil judge's handsome clerk is also her boy toy... but unknown to everybody... he's gay. OH THE IRONY !!!

At least LA Law, The Practice, and the Law and Order shows would explore some interesting legal concepts in a gray world... not this one. All is black and white, the evil are running the asylum and the pretty young lawyers are the innocent inmates. Hell at least Boston Legal is self spoofing. And even they tackle some real issues that have some ambiguity. But this show seems to be taking itself seriously.

Damn, I even liked Zack-boy when he was on NYPD Blue, but now he's working with scripts that make Saved by the Bell look like William Fucking Shakespeare.

... and now with his douchebag hipster hair cut... all I can say is sorry dude... so sorry for that credibility you were trying to muster...

"He may be arrogant and abrasive... but he's a DAMN good lawyer !!!"

FUCK YOU !!!

Flee... don't watch... delete... erase... do what you have to do... just MISS THIS SHOW !!!

Big Brother squashes free speech

2008-08-28T20:54:00.002-04:00

And Obama isn't even in office yet.

Police in Denver arrested an ABC News producer today as he and a camera crew were attempting to take pictures on a public sidewalk of Democratic senators and VIP donors leaving a private meeting at the Brown Palace Hotel.

Police on the scene refused to tell ABC lawyers the charges against the producer, Asa Eslocker, who works with the ABC News investigative unit.

A cigar-smoking Denver police sergeant, accompanied by a team of five other officers, first put his hands on Eslocker’s neck, then twisted the producer’s arm behind him to put on handcuffs…Video taken at the scene shows a man, wearing the uniform of a Boulder County sheriff, ordering Eslocker off the sidewalk in front of the hotel, to the side of the entrance.

The sheriff’s officer is seen telling Eslocker the sidewalk is owned by the hotel. Later, he is seen pushing Eslocker off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic, forcing him to the other side of the street.

A police official later told lawyers for ABC News that Eslocker is being charged with trespass, interference, and failure to follow a lawful order. He also said the arrest followed a signed complaint from the Brown Palace Hotel.

During the arrest, one of the officers can be heard saying to Eslocker, “You’re lucky I didn’t knock the f..k out of you.”

Eslocker and his ABC News colleagues are spending the week investigating the role of corporate lobbyists and wealthy donors at the convention for a series of Money Trail reports on ABC’s “World News with Charles Gibson.”

Here's the video
Here's the article

For Better or Worse comic strip reboot

2008-08-27T19:01:00.004-04:00

I suppose this has been done in comic books, at least to an extent. But this is an interesting event for a syndicated comic strip.

Lynn Johnston's Drawn-Out Adiu to Cartooning

'For Better or for Worse' Starts Over

By Michael Cavna

Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, August 27, 2008; Page C01

Cartoonist Lynn Johnston can't bring herself to abandon her fictional family. For years, the "For Better or for Worse" creator mulled retirement, then lightened her workload by creating flashbacks and repurposing the archives of her popular comic. Finally, she knew she needed to conclude the Patterson family's 29-year saga.

his Sunday's cartoon is an adieu of sorts to readers, but not a final farewell. She announced this month that she would retell her strip's narrative, beginning Monday, by taking her continually aging characters back to 1979, but creating new artwork and some dialogue. Her syndicate says it's the first time a mainstream cartoonist has set out to tell the same story twice.

What the reflective Johnston, 60, realized was that after decades of her identity and creativity and livelihood being linked to a comic strip, she wasn't ready to give it up.

"It's in your blood -- it's part of your life. I don't want to quit being a cartoonist," Johnston says by phone from her Toronto studio. "It's tough to put it down -- you still think of gags. And at the same time, I knew I'd be looking at material that I'd want to improve."

She will keep scrawling dialogue into a pad, keep inking her fluid lines, keep living in the intricate world of her characters. But this is not life as she would have drawn it up.

"I thought I would now be a retired woman with my Tilley hat and sitting on a cruise ship and going to the Galapagos," Johnston says. But that was before the recent dissolution of her 32-year marriage to the man many readers chose to see as John Patterson's inspiration and doppelganger.

"I really wanted to be happy as a couple and make everything right, but things became more stressful. . . . It made me look again at my career."

Which is why, on Sunday, the strip's fans will read Johnston's heartfelt salute as she comes to the endpoint of her characters' lives. (In the final chapter, for example, the original Patterson kids, Michael and Elizabeth, will forever remain grown and married.)

And which is why, on Monday, the strip will time-travel back to 1979 and do it all over again, but with new drawings, new conversations, new wrinkles. (And in some cases, fewer wrinkles -- John and Elly Patterson will return to parenting tykes.)

"It's going back to the beginning when Michael and Elizabeth were very young," Johnston says of the approach, which she is dubbing "new-runs." "I'm going back to do it how it should have been done. . . . I'm beginning with all this knowledge, so it's a much more comprehensive beginning. I only have an insular world of characters [from 1979] to work with."

As far as Johnston knows, "new-runs" -- in which a strip's continual story line is retold -- have never been attempted by a syndicated cartoonist ("Nobody has done it before -- most people die or the strip ends," she says).

"All of September will be brand-new material," Johnston explains. "In October, it will be [a ratio of] 50-50. The color Sunday comics will be all-new material. . . . I think it will be 50-50 for the first year, at least."

More info here.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

2008-08-25T16:55:00.000-04:00

Another canonical installment in the Star Wars saga is in the theaters now. This one is 100% computer generated imagery. The images are great, although pretty much what you expect to see in a decent modern video game... at least in the intros and cut scenes.

It seems to take place somewhere between episode 2 and 3, where Anikan is still a good guy and is still partnered up with Obi Wan. Duku is still alive and Palpatine is still big man in the senate. Yoda deems that it's about time that Anikan get's his own padawan.

There's plenty of action to keep you on the edge of your seat, including some tech warfare, light saber duels, kidnapping, and deception. The plot is good, in a juvenile Star Wars kind of way. There are appearences from lots of your favorite characters and races, as well as lots of cool ships and vehicles. No Wookies, Jar-Jar creatures, or Ewoks... though there are Jawas. Lots of little details are completely consistent within the existing framework.

Must see for Star Wars fans.

Hello

2008-08-23T12:12:00.000-04:00

Okay I made it. At least I think I did. Gosh this is so exciting. Just read Matt Ruff's " Bad Monkeys ". It's would be hard to type this book, but it could be called SF in the vein of Vonnegut, with some cyber punk sensiblities. The premise is a woman who is in a police interview cell being held for the crime of murder. She is being examined by a psychologist due to her claims that she works for an super secret organization that kills evil people. It proceeds in flashbacks as she tells how she first came to their attention and was later recruited. As the story proceeds the examiner uses records to show that events she has recounted either did not happen or happened in different ways that would support why she would create such a delusion in the first place so you don't know what to believe as she claims that the organization has the power to alter public records. It's a real page turner and not a long novel. I reccomend it. I'm also reading " The Judgement of Paris ", which describes itself as an account of the revolutionary decade that created impressionism. It's very readable and fleshes out the bare bone textbook paragraphs that you might be familar with. It gives a good feel for the people and politics in Paris and France at the time, and Emperor Napolean 3. If this is a topic that you're into this is a good book.

Tax Credit ?

2008-08-23T00:24:00.000-04:00

Here's a note I just got from Newegg.com:

Dear Valued Newegg Customer,

As a result of recent changes in New York State tax law requiring certain out-of-state retailers to collect and remit sales taxes to the State of New York, we began collecting applicable sales tax for all orders shipped to New York addresses starting June 1, 2008.

After careful review and consideration, we are pleased to inform you that we have stopped collecting New York sales tax, effective August 21, 2008. This decision was driven by your direct and candid feedback and our continued commitment to you as our valued customers.

We appreciate your patience as we worked through this process, and would like to reiterate our commitment in offering our customers the broadest product selection, competitive pricing, fastest shipping, and award-winning customer service.

We look forward to continuing to provide you with the premier online shopping experience for all of your IT and consumer electronics needs.

Sincerely,

Bernard Luthi
Newegg.com
Company Spokesperson and
Vice President of Merchandising

Disclaimer: While Newegg no longer charges sales tax to its New York customers effective August 21, 2008, you may still have an obligation to pay New York State use tax on your purchases. Newegg cannot offer you any tax advice, so please refer to applicable law if you have any questions about use tax. Nothing in this email shall be deemed to approve the validity of any New York State law, including but not limited to section 1101(b)(8)(vi) of the New York State Tax Law, which purports to require Newegg to collect and remit New York State sales tax on its sales to residents of that state.

Hoisted by their own petard?

2008-08-23T00:15:00.002-04:00

What's a petard anyway?

Whatever it is, it seems that at least one food manufacturer is getting some poetic justice. There is a note posted at all the registers in my local supermarket stating that the 14.5 ounce jar of Skippy peanut butter, recently downsized, is not approved by WIC. So in an attempt to save money, apparently Skippy cut off a portion of their business, namely those using food stamps.

It's also interesting to note that, apparently, there are some checks on the use of food stamps since the store is enforcing the edict.

Two Movie Reviews

2008-08-20T16:32:00.002-04:00

Here are a couple of movie reviews for you. This time I'm staying in the art house.

I recently saw two classic foreign films, Solaris and Wild Strawberries. Both had English subtitles.

Solaris is a Russian SciFi flick from the sixties. It was a drudging 3 hours long. Lots of time was taken up by shots which establish imagery rather than move the plot along. There are scenes of landscapes, flowers, a fish pond, and one pretty cool scene (about 5 or 6 minutes) showing the point of view of a guy driving a car through from the countryside into a Russian city. Longs scenes of going through tunnels and under concrete overpasses, with buildings in the background. I believe this was to establish "modern" Russia as a futuristic landscape.

The actual story was sort of reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Russian scientists find some sort of intelligent life force in space. It looks like a vast ocean. They establish a space station nearby to study it. As people go near the "ocean", live beings comprised of unstable neutrinos are created from their memories. These beings look like their dead wives or children or some other creepy memory. It generally causes madness or suicide.

The imagery could be described as "groovy", but falls short of "psychedelic". The plot was slow moving, and might have been depressing if you cared about the characters... which I didn't. There is a "Planet of the Apes" mind blower at the end, but probably not worth the wait to get to it. I'd give this one a "miss".

On the other hand, Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries was depressing surrealism done right. It's a stroll though the life of an elder Swedish professor who is receiving a prestegious award from a university. Because of a foreboding dream, he decides to take an all day road trip to the university instead of taking the quick flight. Taking along his daughter in law, and picking up a few hitch hikers on the way, his past and present are revealed through conversations and day dreams.

This is only the second Ingmar Bergman film I have seen, but it is clear to me that he was a genius in the art of film making. His movies are filled with angst, tension, and awesome imagery done with simple lighting and camera work. As boring as the plot may sound, it is captivating, and at times humorous.

I give this one a "see".

OK, apparently I'm illiterate. I just spent some time correcting my spelling errors and rewording this post as I'm not sure who will be reading it.

The Longest Journey Begins with a Single Step

2008-08-18T17:52:00.000-04:00

Hello World !

OK, maybe not the most original thought, but it is a traditional one. And who am I to scoff at tradition?

The plan is to see if we can get this blog up and running with multiple people adding content, and allowing the general public to comment.

Right now I have no expectations whatsoever, so if anything comes out of this... anything at all... I will have surpassed my goals.