New Old Phone

Since my cheap ass house phone gave me nothing but static, and prompted a blow up w/ the Fios installer, I ran out that day and bought another cheap ass house phone. That phone sucked so bad, I went right to eBay to look for another one.
It just arrived.

I figure this should be a good time to buy a phone.

They must have gotten all the kinks out of the system by now. They've been mass producing the guts of these things for years. Economy of Scale must have kicked in by now. They're not going to improve the design ever, so they're not going to get any better than they are right now.
I bet there's a glut of really good phones out there taking up warehouse shelf space. 

I already have a nice cordless Panasonic with the base station and the digital answering machine and the crystal clear sound. But I hadn't used it in years and the battery wouldn't hold a charge anymore. A new eBay battery just came in. It needs to charge for at least six hours, so maybe this system will come back to life... or not. We'll see.

But since you can't just plug into a telephone line and make a call, this gets a FAIL.

For a corded phone I found exactly what I wanted on eBay for $18.
It even has 24 selectable ringtones.

It's modern, sleek, sturdy, compact, has big buttons, has Caller ID, works wall mounted or on a desk... and doesn't need batteries. That other one I bought needed batteries to power the Caller ID screen. I shit you not, you plug this thing into 45 Volts DC and they still want you to buy four AA's to power the 3 Volt screen.

Anyways, this one plugs in and works... with CallerID... no additional power required.
So it's a winner, right?
Well, there's always something.

The ringer is just too loud.
24 different ringtones, all loud, and there's no way to lower the volume.

But don't all phones have a ringer volume adjuster switch or knob?
Well... look at a closeup of my "perfect" phone.
They left out the switches for two standard features.

You can see it says "T P" for the Tone-Pulse slider, in case you still use the ancient "rotary" system.
But the plastic is sealed where the switch would be.
OK, fair enough.

But no volume adjuster? It should be there on the left. The volume icon is on the plastic, but no switch or spinner.

Sneaky buggers!! Actively removing a feature I really want!!

I bet the circuit board inside has the ringer volume feature.
I have a soldering iron.
I might have to McGuyver this thing.

AMD, MicroCenter, and Dilligence

Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the extended sales are still going on.
I keep my eyes and ears open and watch a bunch of YouTube tech channels.
You guys know I'm all about the best bang for the buck... don't need the cutting edge, want the max performance to price ratio.

Last week I snagged a 24" Samsung 1080p monitor for $99, shipped, no tax.
It wasn't rated as a "gaming" monitory, but I'm not into those twich-games anyway.
I swapped out my old odd resolution monitor and this one looks AMAZING by comparison... the colors are vivid, and the aspect ratio just looks better.

Earlier this year I gambled on that Salvation Army printer. Well it's more headache than it's worth. Every time it powers on it goes into a mode where it tells me to replace the ink cartridges, then 10 minutes later (to the second) it goes into "recalibrates printer heads" mode, it prints out a test page and USUALLY works fine... but sometimes reports that the heads are out of alignment. So alas, it had to go. $60 ventured, nothing gained.

In November 2014 I built my home computer on a budget and was proud of myself for building a half way decent machine on a shoestring. Of course I used an AMD CPU to keep the price down... the FX 6300 had six cores for $120. Forums told me not to buy this line of processor, it was already 3 years old and would be replaced in a few months. Wait for the new line, they said. Even worse, when I used the filters on New Egg to find a motherboard that would fit in the smaller case (uATX) they didn't have any with the latest features. Again I hit the forums and everybody told me nobody was going to make a uATX case with the new features for a CPU that was about to be discontinued.

I ended up getting the full size ATX motherboard with the features I wanted and the CPU I had been looking for.

Well it's November 2016 and AMD hasn't discontinued that line yet, and hasn't really done much in terms of introducing new tech to the marketplace. And still, two years later, nobody is making any newer small form factor motherboards. So I guess I made the right decision.

In that same line of CPUs, there were a few versions of the 8-core processors, but they were considerably more expensive. Worth it if you're a professional video or music editor, but not an amateur like me. Not enough power boost for the price increase. My solution had all the horse power I needed to do editing and play games.

Now AMD is about to finally release the new Zen line of processors starting in January 2017, but I wasn't going to wait around for that. And I won't even look at them until they are on the market for a while and the prices stabilize. Bottom line, don't always trust the fan boys in the forums.

SO...
Lots of the tech shows on YouTube would quote prices and deals, and they would sometimes say "If you're lucky enough to live near a MicroCenter, you could just stop in and get this awesome deal..."
Well it turns out, I just so happen to live near a MicroCenter... in Cross County Mall. (Formerly Best Buy) A couple of YouTubers did some special episodes on "how to get the most from MicroCenter" and "How to build the least expensive computer possible... from MicroCenter". In that episode of Jay's Two Cents, Jay said "The CPU was on sale and the motherboard was included FREE!" OK, worth checking out !!!

I went online to see what all the hoopla was about. Wow, they DO have some really good deals. You need to check the weekly deals, the refurbs, the open-box specials, and the BUNDLES. I found the bigger brother to my FX 6300, the Eight Core FX 8320e... but even better, the "e" means it's the power efficient version. So more computing power for less electrical power. Sounds like a good upgrade... but what's the price???

FX 8320e this week is $80. Huh? What?? Two weeks ago it was listed all over the place for $130. But wait... there's more. Buy a compatible motherboard and get an additional $40 off.

I really don't need a new computer. I just built a low budget bedroom computer and my living room computer is just fine. But it's hard to pass up a deal like this. I'm thinking I'll just upgrade the FX 6300 with this new FX8320e... but what do I do w/ the old CPU? I paid $125 for it, now you see it listed for $90-$100 (yes, even now it was on the list at MicroCenter for $90 while the big brother was right next to it for $80). I'm not gonna put it up on eBay... too much hassle. But if they're giving $40 off a motherboard, I'm well on my way to building another computer.

Now here's where the diligence comes in. I scour the MicroCenter web site for the AMD motherboards. As expected, all the uATX boards are still ANCIENT. Nobody's been making new ones for years. But I found one that even has USB 3.0 (sort of a must-have feature today). It was listed at something like $65... but was out of stock!!!

But looky here... a refurb of the same board for $52, and it clearly shows the "$40 discount with compatible CPU"... and it's in stock.

So I gather the two parts and hit the counter when, as I suspected, they tell me that $40 discount doesn't apply to the refurb. The cashier got on the walky talky and confirmed that the discount didn't apply. I told her I didn't want it at the full price.

But I went over to customer service and they told me the same thing, but I stuck to my guns. Politely and friendly, I kept saying "It's right here on your web site... refubished... discount applies." Eventually a manager came out, and in a few minutes he gave the thumbs up and I got the $52 motherboard for $12.

Mind you, this motherboard is nothing to brag about. But it is the uATX form factor, it does have USB 3.0... and it was $12 freaking dollars.  So for $92 (plus tax), I got the CPU upgrade which is still WAY less than it's usually listed for... and I'm well on my way to building a small form factor computer w/ the old CPU.

Oh, and for good measure, I threw in a refurb HP printer... usually $60, refurb was $40. I hate HP on principle, but my allegiance can be bought.

Me and The Clown

I had a bad run-in with Ronald McDonald tonight. I thought maybe me and The Clown could settle our differences. After all, it's been a long time.

Nope... no love under the golden arches.

Besides the food being terrible, besides the dining room being a basket of deplorables, I gave the touch screen kiosk a try. The thing went into Robo-Block. More accurately, it brought me to a dead end.

It starts out friendly enough... "Touch Screen to Get Started".

My first choice was to select "Eat Here", then clicked in my order easily enough... swiped my card, and hit the buttons that should lead me to checkout. But at the end it brought me to a screen that insisted that I "Take a Table Number Indicator" and type in that number to an on-screen number pad. I couldn't get past this screen... what the heck IS a "Table Number Indicator" anyway?? The machine wasn't offering me anything. I looked over at the tables, and they weren't numbered and didn't have any indicators on them... and how the hell would I know which table I was going to sit at anyways... I was on the other side of the restaurant.

I hit the "need assistance" button, but nobody there was going to help. The cashier and staff were all busy doing their thing. Dammit, I can figure this out. It can't be THAT hard. What is a god damned Table Number Indicator... what would it look like... where can I "TAKE one??" Can I skip this option and just continue... nope, either enter a number or go back to the previous screen. NO OTHER OPTIONS.  In frustration I randomly hit the number "7" and hit enter. It went back to the start screen... no receipt, no "Your order has been entered"... just "Touch Screen to Get Started".

I yelled over towards the staff behind the counter, they said "Didn't it give you a receipt?" I said it's asked for a "Table Number Indicator"... they looked at me like I was crazy. They looked at their screen, saw that my order was on their list, and said "Take a seat".

So I sat down next to an old Spanish dude with a recently lit cigarette in his hand... it wasn't lit, but it looked like he had taken a few puffs from it a few minutes ago. He wreaked of cigarettes  He was yelling into his phone. He wasn't eating anything. All of the other tables had people sitting and talking... nobody seemed to be eating. There was a counter with tall stools (attached to the floor)... I moved over there. Eventually another customer came over to me and said that they were calling for me at the counter. Huh? I didn't hear anything.

So I went over to the counter trying to make eye contact w/ the staff. I had to speak up and say "Uh... did you call for me?" They seemed confused. Then I could see the light bulb go on over the cashier's head... "Oh yeah, that's his right there". She started handing me a bag... I said "That's to stay, please." (Remember, the first button I hit... probably the option that got me into this robo-block in the first place.) So she unpacked the food onto a tray and handed it to me. I then had to ask "Can I have some ketchup please?" I guess they don't give that out by default anymore.

So fine, I got my food. Now to enjoy some hot crispy Micky-D fries... ugh, just slightly above room temperature.

Screw You Clown !!! You stay on your side of the street and I'll stay on mine.

Me and David Bowie (RIP)

Everybody has a story about what music they were exposed to and how it influenced them.
I think my experience is a bit more diverse than most. In Inwood, most kids (after a certain age) were told what to listen to by the DJs on WPLJ.

My dad had several niches in the music spectrum that influenced me. Lots of Broadway plays dating back to the 50s (maybe older). Lots of folk music like Pete Seegar, Peter, Paul and Mary, etc. At the beach he always had the radio tuned to an "easy listening" station, which is a whole other subject (no room to talk about that here except to say that I heard that A LOT). And long drives in the car between LBI and NYC we'd listen to some big band and old blues like Lena Horn or Billie Holiday.

My oldest brother exposed me to a lot of rock music... lots of the classics, but also some more obscure stuff like Jefferson Airplane, Grand Funk Railroad... lots of other stuff. And at least one Bowie album... "Changesonebowie". It was a "best of" album and it contained "Space Oddity" which completely blew my 5th grade mind.

Of course there was a ton of other stuff... pop songs from a.m. radio, etc. Let's not forget the novelty albums like "Loony Tunes" or the  Dr. Demento show. But if anyone asked, I'd confidently and accurately say "I'm a Beatles fan".

By the time I got my own stereo late in the 70s, while most people were listening to WPLJ, I found WPIX which was ushering in The New Wave. This was great for a kid trying to build an identity which would make me stand out (and maybe get chicks.). There were also a bunch of other weird music outlets I was exposed to... most importantly Public Access Television. I saw a live call in show where these freaks who called themselves "The Sex Pistols" answered phone calls and cursed out whoever was on the line. I also found "The Uncle Floyd" show which brought all sorts of semi-famous bands to my screen... including The Ramones.

Well Public Access had a few video shows long before MTV was even a pipe dream. Who was making videos back then? Well David Bowie had a few back in '79... very weird and obscure. I swear I'm the only one in the world who saw a lot of these show... though I'm sure there are a few others like me. There was also this awesome chick called Ellen Foley, who I'm still in love with... and saw her live a couple of years ago in a small club in NYC. (She's the one The Clash sings about when they sing "Should I stay or should I go now.")

Through all this I was aware of this underground music scene in NYC, and I even tried to get into Max's Kansas City once... and got laughed at by the bouncers. (The band was The Sick F*CKS... I'll tell you more about them some time).

I guess we were still in High School when J-man, myself, and Gerrard Foster went to the 8th Street Playhouse to see "Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars". Well still to this day I think that film captured the APEX of ... uh... well something... that underground glam-rock scene that fits somewhere between New York Dolls and Peter Gabriel era Genesis. It totally blew my freaking mind. I was kind of confused when during the performance Bowie announced that this show would be his last... I mean we were all aware that he had released many albums since that performance. Of course he meant  it was the last show for "Ziggy Stardust".

Right around then the "Scary Monsters" album came out. It was a radical change for Bowie, who was just coming off what I now know are three very important albums... his "Berlin trilogy". He and Iggy Pop went to Germany to escape the crazy and deadly lifestyle they were leading in America... turns out Germany can get pretty crazy too. Anyway, I knew mostly nothing of those albums, but I bought Scary Monsters and played it out. In retrospect, it may have been a "jump the shark" album for Bowie... though most would call it a re-invention of himself. The next album was "Let's Dance", which had definitely jumped the shark, imo. It was hugely popular during my High School Prom... but I thought it was over-produced, pop-oriented, and lacked soul. This is DESPITE the fact that Stevie Ray Vaughn played guitar on that album.

So recently I procured Bowie's entire discography. (Like six months ago.) I was warned that his early stuff is a bit difficult. Certainly his very first album is pretty boring, but really everything else (up to but not including "Let's Dance") is really good. Not every song is a winner, but every album has some amazing features. And some things might not suite my every mood, but will sound good at another time. Diamond Dog is rock-n-roll gold. They all give this vibe of gritty underground activity that somehow should be hidden from polite society... but you're in on it. Lots of complex melodies and rhythms, and some good old kick ass rock-n-roll. Some wispy airy melodies too. He collaborates with producers like Brian Eno, and musicians like Robert Fripp.

I didn't listen to any of his albums since "Let's Dance", but did listen to the one he put out last year... and I plan on listening to the one from last week soon. From the bits I heard, they are interesting and entertaining... though not "rocking".

Meaning in Life

(Warning: the following contains subtle hyperbole for comedic effect)

If asked "What is the meaning of life?", a well trained Christian boy should be able to rattle off the answer without a thought... "To serve The Lord in thoughts and deeds..." (something like that). But if you take away the traditional God concept, people tend to become uneasy. What IS the meaning of life if not dictated by a supreme being?

I've long been an advocate of the idea that people are free to make their own meaning in life. If you find joy, happiness, and meaning in studying ants, or helping the poor, or kicking a foot ball, or investing money, or raising a family... that's your choice.

It could be something altruistic, such as promoting literacy, or giving comfort to the sick and suffering... it could be something creative like building the Real Life Mousetrap, or painting your masterpiece... or it could be something more mundane, like cheering for your football team or watching survivor. My judgement of the worthiness of the activity is irrelevant... as long as it doesn't directly conflict with my goals.


If your choices directly conflict with others, then you should expect some friction. If your choice directly harms others, then you should expect some friction from ME and many others, as most people choose to live in a world where harm is reduced.

But often people can not find meaning in life, or are on a quest to find it. I used to be in that category... until now.

I finally found the cause that has given me purpose and drive... and a nifty new title.

From now on, I am an ADVOCATE OF TAU... feel free to use that in lieu of "Esq" when referring to me by name.

So what is an Advocate of Tau? Essentially and Advocate of Tau is dedicated to the annihilation of Pi. Yes, the mathematical constant Pi has to go !!!

In its place, we will instead use the more elegant constant Tau, which is simply two times Pi.

There is an enormous amount of work to do, getting every single text book from 5th grade mathematics up to Quantum Physics to replace every reference from 2Pi to Tau... but it must be done, and I intend to do my part to make it happen.

I've followed my bliss and it lead me to this.
Hmmm... I wonder if I should get a funny hat to go along with my new title.... like the Bishop of Canterbury or Cardinal of the Arch Diocese.

p.s. Once this goal is achieved, I'll take on switching our number system from base 10 to base 12.

Hacking the Phone

Once again an essay, or a rant... in either case, to big for an e-mail or a FB post. And the blog has a sense of permanence to it, so here it goes.

A few months back I got a call from a client who often has decent paying jobs for a freelance tour guide. Lots of airport "meet and greet" type stuff. I got her call midday in mid-town, and she asked if I was available on a particular date the next week. I had to say "I'll be home in an hour and will check my calendar and let you know ASAP."

The job went to somebody else. That's when it was decided to step up to an Android phone.

Miser that I am, I am definitely not the early adopter. (Been there... got paid for that.)  But when I'm LOSING money for being a generation or two behind... well, that's just unacceptable.

Frankly, it's embarrassing to have been THAT far behind the times. And even my old phone did have some sort of calendar feature, so my laziness is certainly a factor here. But in any case, the quest for the best Bang for the Buck had begun.

I was already signed up for the best deal in town, as far as carriers go.  Virgin Mobile had me with unlimited text and data, and 300 minutes of voice... for $25 per month. That's under $30 with the fees. Nobody beats that.

Only catch... well 2 catches...
Buy your own phone...
OK, so I shell out $100 for a phone and I'm still WAY ahead of the game compared to Verizon or AT&T.
Reception Area...
OK, this is bad. But hear me... I get GREAT reception EVERYWHERE I GO... except my apartment.

In any case, the $25 plan is not even available anymore (it's $35 now), but they keep renewing me every month. I feel like I'm saving $10 a month.

So, I check what Android phones are available on my current plan... and HELLO, a $70 LG Optimus V. Don't worry if you're not impressed. The title "Optimus" doesn't mean anything, and the V isn't even a 5... it's "V" for "Virgin". But did I mention it's a fully functional Android phone for $70?!?

This was not even a question. I was ENTERING the world of Android (not exactly true, my tablet is Android), but I was coming in on the entry level out of necessity, but with confidence that the current state of tech would alow me to do EVERYTHING that was required. I was going ENTRY LEVEL, and will squeeze whatever I can out of this thing.

I resist the urge to go "kid in a candy shop" and instead choose only to install apps that I will use. Google Calendar (obviously), Google Maps, several mail clients for my several e-mail accounts (gonna trim this down soon), a subway alert app... not much else. I even tried to delete some of the bloat that they shipped with... Point, SCVNGR, some sort of bloated Twitter client... but these are locked into the system and can't be removed. They apparently reside in the ROM. (stay tuned)

So that's that... $70 phone, lowest monthly plan EVER, and all the features I need. But I had to push it. I want FACEBOOK!

Yup, I want to "check in" at the Statue of Liberty, I want to check in at Grants Tomb, or wherever I happen to find myself on a particular day. I want to tell the world that I'm dining with an attractive young lady. Shouldn't I have that option, even at the entry level??

Well, no. You see FaceBook is a memory hog. Of course that term only makes sense in relation to a device that has less than enough memory to run FaceBook. But long story short, when I install FaceBook, I start to get warnings that I'm running low on Memory and my incoming TEXTS get rejected. Clearly, this is not acceptable. FaceBook gets the big DELETE. :(

OK Open Source Community... OK Linux Community... Talk to me Powers of the Tech World Who's Name We Dare Not Speak.... what are my options ?!?!?

Well, funny that you ask... because they actually have an answer. Might not be completely pretty... but honestly, it's kinda BEAUTIFUL to my way of thinking.

So you have an SD card slot, right? And that can give you up to 32Gb of memory, right? Plug into your computer and drag and drop movies, videos, and tunes !!!  But is that any different from the memory that this phone RUNS on ??? Uh, apparently no! Or, kinda sorta.

In any case, the underlying tech for Cell Phone Memory is layered between "onboard" and external. Except they are really using the same basic tech... but are produced in quantity in such a way that there is a distinction. (Some is hard wired onto a sort of motherboard, other is buss-ed in from external sources).

So the fact is, the entry level phone has little built in memory, but up to 32GB via SD card. And there is a lower level of memory, closer to the CPU, but let's not even go there... the rest is handled by swapping out to the memory pages.

Well it turns out that most apps have their memory requirements mapped out into three discrete units. We can fool the system into stashing two of the three units onto the external memory, thus leaving plenty of space on the phone's internal memory. The apps don't even have to be aware of this (or written to support this)... if they write as per the Android specs, this will just happen seamlessly.

Hurdle #1 (not a huge deal, but not trivial):  Root the phone.
Anybody coming from the Unix world knows what "root access" means. You get to read and write to memory locations that are not available to most applications. This is essentially what happens when you root a phone. It voids the manufacturer's warranty (as if Virgin was gonna get into this with me), but you get access to files you otherwise would not have had access to. This includes the Operating System.

Lots of apps written for the Android phones simply don't work, or only have limited capabilities if you don't have root access. But in my case, this was essential to achieve my goal.

Rooting the phone is easy enough... if all goes well. The first attempt (which everybody seems to advocate) didn't work. It gave me an error, something about drivers not installed... went down the rabbit hole of making sure the right drivers where in the right locations... then bailed. I bet this method works perfectly for most users... I saw 5 different YouTube vids with MY PHONE doing this in 60 seconds. But I got error due to missing drivers.

Found 2nd method of rooting device. Downloaded script for my phone (directly from my phone, not my computer) and got it rooted with no problems.

Won't get more into detail now. More than enough details out there. Talk to me in person if you plan on doing this.

Then the simple app fixed everything... Link2SD.  OK, still not trivial, but conceptually clear. My SD card holds 8Gb of data. Mount as a drive in Windows (i.e. plug your phone into USB Port and go to "share as drive"), and use a 3rd party app (Windows Disk Manager could NOT do this !!!!). Partition your SD card so 6GB (more or less) are available for storage, and the other 2 GB (totally invisible to Windows) is partitioned and formatted and ready to use.

Now return back to the phone, and install Link2SD. Reboot at least once, and then start moving apps to the SD card, or LINKING apps that can not be moved. The "LINKING" moves a large portion of the app onto the SD card, leaving the internal memory available for every day operation.

I should probably end here and now. My $70 phone can now run SCORES of apps that would otherwise tell me I was out of memory. I have Facebook running, at the same time as Google Maps, and some other "hogs"... and text messages are not being rejected.

I expect to be able to install dozens or maybe hundreds of apps in this configuration.

..................
..................

But I'm just not satisfied !!!

OK, granted, I'm ELATED!!!!
My $70 phone with a ($15, generously priced) 8Gb SD card has all the memory and power to keep track of my calendar, my multiple e-mail accounts, all my business needs, and my Face Book nonsense !!!

But what's all this up around the bend??? I have a bunch of bloatware installed on my system that STILL doesn't give me the option to delete. And what's all this I hear about ROMs ???

Most frustrating of all was watching multiple YouTube vids showing my how easy it was to install "Rom Manager" and show how I could load different versions of Android OS on my phone. And in fact back in 2011 when this phone was the hot low end phone to hit the market, it WAS easy to root and hack this phone with different ROMs. But as of August 2013, it is extremely difficult to find the software needed to to install the Rom Manager or Recovery software for this phone.

Let's be clear... there are layers of software installed on my LG Optimus V (LGMV670) phone. Root gives me access to all on the phone... but software needed to update the basic OS files is hard to acquire. Maybe a year ago, this was easy to get. But today it seems to have dried up and disappeared. I signed up to the forum sights, but all the software that is supposed to give me access to "Flash the Rom" has disappeared into the vapor. These are apps that clearly worked a year ago (as per YouTube), but just don't work anymore. On the forum sights, I get a message that "This software is not available in your region." So these "underground" sights are not so underground after all... and apparently neither am I. :(


To this extent "Rom Manager" was THE GO TO APP that would allow you to choose the OS into which your phone would boot.
After installing "Rom Manager", it clearly states that it WILL NOT allow me to change the ROMs (basic operating system files) on my phone.
"Xenobia" (or something like that) says that downloads are not available in my area of the world.

It seems that "The Marketplace" has decided what I can and can not download... even for free... in my current location. That I as an individual, who I purchased a device for $70, am not allowed to download certain files that may make MY device more useful to ME.

Bottom line to this rant... It's not a rant !!
I'm SUPER happy with my $70 phone, my $15 memory card, and my ability to do my business from ANYWHERE and still post my stupid Face Book stuff.
The rest is a work in progress. I'm confident that if I care to spend the time and effort, I will figure out how to install different ROMs on this phone and choose which works best for me, and delete Point, SCVNGR, and the rest... and customize MY phone the way I want it.

It does irk me (understatement!) that the apps to do the ROM replacements were easy to acquire back in 2011, and now seem to have been scoured off the Internet. I'll keep looking... I'm sure they're out there. But the YouTube vids from 2011 just seem to taunt me... "Look, now just download 'ROM Manager" and you're all set." ARG!!!  ROM Manager tells me specifically that it will no longer support my phone!!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I LOVE the state of Tech today. $70 and a $15 SD card, with a $30 monthly plan... and I'm running dozens and dozens of apps in real time !!!!!!!!!!!!

A True New York Story

A good few years ago, VB sent us a nice scan of a fold-up map that was given away as a freebe by MTA in honor of an anniversary they were celebrating, probably the 2004 centennial. This giveaway was a re-print of an old map. When it was originally published, it was sponsored by a shopping center who's building was prominently displayed in the center. I can't find the scan now, but the place of business was an impressive looking building near Astor Place, and was identified as "Stewart's"... most likely "Stewart's Cast Iron Palace" or something similar.

I remember trying to find information on this place via a few different searches. Finding nothing definitive, I decided to hoof it down there to see what (if anything) stood there now. In what appeared to be the location indicated on the map now stands an incredibly impressive building which WAS an important shopping center... though it was markedly different from Stewart's as it appeared sketched on that map.

Well I sort of filed that whole story in the back of my mind, and slowly over time the information presented itself. And to my delight, the story keeps getting better and better.



=====================
NOTE: I had written the above (and what follows) a day or so ago, and have since discovered more information. A.T. Stewart's Cast Iron Palace was NOT the business establishment featured on that map. It was in fact Mark Arnheim Tayloring... another five story building erected next to the Cast Iron Palace, touted as The World's Largest Tayloring Establishment. Will follow up about Arnheim later, as he too has a story to tell.
======================

As it turns out, if I had just known the actual name of this Stewart, this was mostly all spelled out in a single Wikipedia entry. But I took the long route, including a book I just purchased at The Strand to get the details.

In a little cul-de-sac in Greenwich Village next to the Cherry Lane theater is a nifty looking 19th Century three story brick home with a plaque that explains that this was once the home of A.T. Stewart, the Merchant Prince. At the time when this building was erected, this neighborhood was home to the wealthy New Yorkers who fled the overcrowding and disease ridden lower Manhattan. Massive amounts of resources were spent during this period developing the land, including changing the course of the streams, draining the swamps, and laying out streets among the farms, fields, and orchards. Stewart was among these men of great means.




Immigrating from Ireland as a youth, he arrived with a decent amount of money in his pocket... saved from working as a stock boy in a retail store. Later he inherited another decent amount from his family's estate. Not enough to make a man wealthy, but enough to get him started in a retail business in New York City. He also married into a well established family over here.


Through hard work and ingenuity, he re-defined the nature of the retail store. He included a show room above the store with full length mirrors, so ladies could try on their wares before making the purchase. This seemed to attract an affluent clientele, and soon his dry goods shop became a lucrative outlet for the fashionably dressed.

In an effort to expand his clientele, he dreamed up a risky scheme which payed off in spades. He put together a catalog of items and used the US Mail to send these westward across the country. With the use of a system known as Wells Fargo, he would deliver items to consumers across the ever expanding nation.

He took these successes and leveraged a MAJOR real estate venture. He erected what will always be known as the first true shopping center... The Marble Palace. This was in Lower Manhattan, just immediately north of City Hall. This "palace" is still there. It is still an impressive building, even by today's standards. It was so impressive, taking up the entire city block, that eventually "The New York Sun" newspaper took over the space. (You may remember "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus")

Since this shopping center proved to be a success, and while New York City itself was expanding northward, he next erected The Cast Iron Palace. At the time, the Astor Library (now NYC's premier Shakespeare repertory theater, The Public Theater) as well as the Astor Opera House were among his neighbors. This was during the architectural revolution taking place where the use of cast iron as a structural material was allowing buildings to go higher than had ever been dreamed. This all taking place around the Civil War era, 1860's or there about. The garment industry had flourished in NYC sparked by the need for uniforms for the Union soldiers. This infrastructure quickly turned to fashion for the masses.

Later he took this fortune and entered the Rail Road business, owning a lucrative stretch of rails that eventually became part of The Long Island Rail Road.



By now he had moved up to what may have been the first of many true mansions along 5th Avenue, his being way out of town on 34th Street. It no longer exists.

Eventually, after his time on Earth, an even larger shopping center was constructed on the adjacent block to the Cast Iron Palace. This was the old Wannamaker's department store, one of two, the original being in Philadelphia. This is the building that still stands today. Wannamaker purchased The Cast Iron Palace and built the even larger building across the street, connecting the two via several cross walks high above the street bellow. Unfortunately, The Cast Iron Palace burned to the ground in a terrible fire... terrible enough to burn a cast iron building. Today a 1950s era condominium stands in this location, and while architecturally not to everybody's taste, it is quite impressive in size.

OK, so I found where he came from, where he lived, where he made his fortune, and the fate of the Cast Iron Palace. But were was he laid to rest??? Well that's where it gets REALLY interesting... and I can't make this up.

So after his death in 1876, he was buried in an exclusive location that few people could afford, in the main yard of The Church of St. Marks on the Bowery, next to former governors and mayors (some dating back to the British Colonial days). Heck, even the DUTCH Director General of New Amsterdam, Peter Stuyvesant, has his bones and peg leg interred in the wall of that church.

At the time of his death, it is estimated that his estate which passed on to his widow was $40 Million... that's $40 Million in 1876 dollars, not adjusted for inflation.

Now here's where it gets weird... "poor" AT Stewart apparently was not destined to Rest In Peace. Not long after his death, grave robbers busted up the flat stone laid horizontally on the church ground, cut through the copper vault, broke through the wooden casket, and stole Stewart's remains. Anonymously, the thieves hired a lawyer to negotiate with his estate for a ransom of the remains, which apparently WAS paid and the body was returned to be buried in a different location.

PC Lemon

A while back I helped out a neighbor with her computer. She bought mid-range ($700-ish) PC, not ages ago... it came with Windows Vista.

FUCK... brain fart as I type... can't remember the name... had the commercial w/ the cute little black kid... has the word "PC" in the name... My PC... Friendly PC... Smart PC... something like that... they were half a service provider, half a PC mfr.

Anyway, her neighbor had installed MacAfee virus suite before removing Norton AV (or vice versa), and the two were fighting each other, and that neighbor bailed (after taking her money) and wouldn't fix the mess she left.

It was a DUAL CORE Pentium... really, should chew up and spit out any menial tasks this woman was gonna throw at it. Seriously... writing letters, e-mail, web. NOTHING more.

So even after I finally got both malware apps off, and did a clean instal of one, it was quickly clear that this PC was a DOG. It took literally five or six MINTUES to boot to desktop. Took six MINUTES to shut down. Getting updates (which required multiple restarts) drove me insane.

So I got a call yesterday asking if I could install her NEW computer. She told me she was so frustrated after (now about) two or three years on this computer she was ready to throw it out the window... she literally would bang on it out of frustration.

So she purchased a Lenovo from Best Buy. Something in the $700 range. She finally got a bang for her buck. And THAT's what has me fuming. This old PC was NOT that long ago... there was NO EXCUSE for the poor performance that this thing gave her. ANYBODY could slap together a $700 PC that would function satisfactorily. This was a brand that was advertising on TV, and couldn't get it right.

Her son told her he'd set up the new PC in 10 minutes, and just transfer the files over... zip zip... and it would be no problem. Good mom that she is, she knows her son works hard all day and has a family, and said that she'd hire a pro (me) to do it right.

She even bought the EZ Transfer Cable (a simple USB cable) to connect the two PCs together to transfer files.

So here's how it went down...

Wake up old computer, and find the "Shut Down" option on the start menu.
Wait four or five minutes while "shutting down" while talking... then realized, "uh, this is ridiculous"
Hold the hard power button until it shuts down.

Crawl under desk. Unplug everything. Spend a few minutes straightening up the mess under there. Move old gear into the hallway... including the LAST CRT monitor on the planet. (so this was right on the cusp of LCD) It still had a roller ball mouse... USB keyboard, PS2 mouse.

Unpack new monitor as she marveled at the weight and footprint (or lack thereof).
Connect everything.
Power up.
(yup, as per her son's prediction... maybe 10-13 minutes)

Ooooo... Windows 8. A first for me. I'm not a-skeered.

So what does MS do?
1) End User License Agreement... option should say "Agree Without Reading".
2) Sign up for your Microsoft Account. (wasn't clear that this was optional), so I went for it... how hard could it be.

name, rank, serial number... e-mail... choose your password.
No, not enough letters.
No, need capitals and numbers.
OK, finally a weird password that this woman will never remember.

Continue and... Windows has encountered a problem. Installation will restart.
Ugh, seriously?!?

Quickly enough, it reboots, and I "Agree Without Reading", and this time OPT OUT of the MS Account. (Hey, why didn't I do that in the first place.)  Most likely it didn't allow to continue because it couldn't yet find the internet... it couldn't yet find the internet because the OS was not yet installed. Thanks GENIUS BOYS !!!

Soooo, Win 8... what-coo-got ?!?

Name this computer.
Create a User... no, not THAT user, must be different from computer name. OK, fine!
On to user log on screen... uh, why are there TWO users. I really only entered one user. Hmm, next time that 2nd user didn't appear... just the once. (WTF?)

Win 8 starts with a nifty snazzy Startup Screen. Not a traditional desktop, just field of apps organized in some fashion... a MS section, a Lenovo section, and some "other" section. One option is "desktop". Click that and you're "kinda" in familiar territory. No "start" menu of any kind... gotta drag mouse to upper right corner to see it magically appear. OK, fine, it works pretty well.

Now to uninstall some bloat... minimalist, I just uninstalled MacAfee and installed free Avira. Told her "just don't use all that stuff that's installed".

One app she needed to use was her word processor. She had disks for (wait for it) MS Works Suite from her old computer. New PC came with teaser of MS Office 2010. (Uh, it's 2013, right?)

So we'll deal w/ that next. First things first... re-set up her old PC... mouse, keyboard, monitor.
Run EZ File Transfer on new PC, which prompts to install a flash drive (I brought), so I can run same app on OLD PC.
Run on Old PC... did I mention this old PC was a DOG. 13 minutes later, I have app running.
Connect EZ Transfer Cable between two USB ports. Select mostly defaults on both PC.
"Looking for EZ Transfer Cable" says the old PC... for six minutes, then reports "no EZ Transfer Cable Detected".
Just about then there's a pop-up at the bottom... Installing Drivers... EZ Transfer Cable dectected".
Yup... maybe 20 minutes now before two computers see each other.
Click to continue on both comps, using defaults.
Transfer starts and both PC say "Don't Use This PC During Transfer" while new PC shows action bars. (Why TWO action bars... 3.2 Gig for new PC, 650Meg for old PC... uh, is something going from New to Old??? WTF??)
This transfer starts to take about four minutes before a chunk shows up on new PC action bar.
Just about then a message appears on Old PC... "You would have faster transfer if you plugged into newer USB 2.0. Click here to see available USB ports."
Yup, I'm plugged into the USB port on the FRONT of the figgin' computer... and that's USB 1.0. Need to use the BACK of the computer to access the USB 2.0 port. WTF !!!!!!!! Not unplugging anything mid-transfer. Just gotta deal with this auto-negotiation back to 1996 tech.

Maybe 30-40 minutes later, transfer complete. All files are moved to where they should be.

So... disconnect, and shut down old dog for the last time in history. Good f'n riddance !!!

Plug in printer, let it find drivers... all looks good. Small glitch, it wants a manual "ok" on the printer's front panel each time we print, asking if it's OK to use the new paper. I think I fixed that in "printer settings".

Now, double click on one of her old word processor files. Options come up for MS Office...
1) have a license, enter code
2) go online and buy a license
3) use trial version

We try her old code from MS Works Suite... not surprisingly, no way.
She decides to buy online for $107 (discounted from $127).
Please enter MS Account or start a new one. ARGGGGG... I just opted out of that an hour ago !!!
OK new account. Enter all sorts of info... continue... uh, account already exists. Huh, it does??
OK, log in as this account, click "forgot password, send me re-set password link."
Wait... wait... wait... uh, they're not sending re-set password link."
Try again... this time e-mail comes.
Reset password. Buy software. Download software that's already installed (18 minutes?). Finally MS Office (Home and Student) is now installed !!!

A few more pokes and tweeks, trying to get AOL as her home page... but where are the "internet options" that I'm so familiar with... can't find them. Find some sort of way that seems to work... two tabs come up, one of them is AOL... but only if you go to DESKTOP first... don't go right to IE from the nifty startup window... that has a mind of its own.

All said and done, just about 3 hours on this PC to do the "10 minutes" of work.
This system DOES work fine. Starts up fast. Loads apps fast. Is QUIET. (Did I mention, old PC had screaming loud fan that didn't make a sound for minutes at a time while PC sat and did NOTHING... the SCREAMED to life as you saw it decide to do something.)

Anyway, her C-note turned into $125. (I just said, "Whatever you think it's worth to you". Was not gonna haggle... bad karma.) Not bad for 3 hours. Low level consultants get that... and this is cash money.

Worst Post Office Ever

I don't want this blog to be a depository of whines, moans, and complaints. But I will vent here from time to time. This is one of those times.

So it's well into the Christmas shopping season, and for many of us that means frequent trips to the Post Office to send or receive packages. Lately in my travels around NYC I've had the pleasure of frequenting many different post offices for various reasons. By far, the one that is consistently the WORST is my local Post Office in Inwood, on 204th Street.

In a neighborhood with a large immigrant population, it's not surprising that people use the Post Office frequently to send and receive packages and and money to their families abroad. So this place is always busy. But this would not be a problem if there was a professional staff working behind the bullet proof glass. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

When you enter the lobby, you see a set of velvet ropes forming three lines. Wrapped around the edge of the lobby, on the two walls beyond these ropes are a series of windows. Most windows are clearly marked "Retail Services". The two on the smaller wall at the end of the ropes are not clear.

So when you approach the three lines, the obvious thing to do is read the signs on the posts that should indicate what each line is for. In this day and age, at the very minimum you would expect to see something printed out on a laser printer (hell, even an ink jet). Nah, what you see is poorly handwritten notes written with Magic Marker, with crooked arrows drawn, pointing to the spaces between the ropes.

The leftmost line says something like "all services". Clear enough, that leads you close to the long wall with the "retail services" signs.

In between the other two, the handwritten note points only to the rightmost line, leaving the inner line completely ambiguous. It indicates that the rightmost line is for "pickup, money orders, stamps". Now mind you, I've been coming to this Post Office all my life. Of the two ambiguous windows, the left one is the express line for people just purchasing stamps, or for money order purchases. The rightmost one is for picking up packages exclusively. But the handwritten note, apparently scribbled by a 2nd grader, says otherwise.

So if you follow the directions, there are really only two lines. That is, until you get to the front of the line(s) and you see the 2nd hand scribbled note that indicates that there are 3 lines (as described above). However, the arrows are drawn in, crossed out, and drawn back in. Yup... scribbled out crooked arrows, and re-drawn crooked arrows. This is how this post office works. Not exactly inspiring confidence.

Of course there is a long line all the way to the left, where people have parcels and envelopes that need to be weighed and shipped, return receipts requested, and all that. That line moves fairly quickly as the electronic bell summons each customer to the next available window.

But the "pickup" window also has a fairly long line, and a gentleman patiently waiting at the window with nobody in sight inside the window. Presumably, the postal worker is in the back grabbing his package off the shelf. There are two or three people in the center (unmarked) line getting stamps or money orders.

So we wait patiently for the man to get his package. And we wait. And we wait. And we wait for a HALF HOUR before the worker returns to the window. No, I'm not kidding, not exaggerating. The entire line of people waiting to pick up packages is waiting for a half hour while they deal with one single customer. Five minutes in, people are getting antsy. Ten minutes in, people are starting to speak to each other, saying "this is ridiculous" and "is anybody even WORKING there?" (as far as we can tell, there is nobody behind that window) Twenty minutes in, people are downright angry.

During this time, those waiting for packages get to experience the cavalcade of humanity along the other lines. Most entertaining are the people who take the risk of just getting on the middle unmarked line, probably because it is the shortest and they think they will be in and out before the rest of us suckers. When somebody asks "what is this line for?", I pointed to the handwritten note in the front and said "stamps and money orders only"... at which point two people said "Not package pickup?" I said, no, that's this line (still waiting for the first guy to be served). So those people now have to get at the end of the line after they've waited several minutes on the short line, behind the several people who have come in since.

For some reason, at one of the retail service windows, the conversation gets heated, and the worker says in a loud voice "there are TWO LINES". (not really sure why this would come up at this point, but it happened) This was loud enough for the whole lobby to hear, and we all seemed to look incredulous at the THREE lines. I had to speak up and say "Uh, actually there are THREE lines... retail, stamps/money orders, and pickup." This was me doing my civic duty to inform the worker as well as the people who didn't know what line they were on. The woman said "Well I'M only dealing with TWO of them!"

Actually she was only dealing with ONE of them... the retail service line. But even if she was somehow dealing with two lines, it might be a good idea for a worker in a service industry to look at things from the CUSTOMER's point of view.

Now the customer who takes the cake was the woman who came in with a small dog peaking out of her coat, YELLING on her cell phone. Not yelling in an angry way, just yelling because she thinks that's how you talk on a cell phone. Her conversation went something like "YEAH, I'M IN THE POST OFFICE... HAHAHA... SURE, BUT NOT SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POST OFFICE... YOU SHOULD WEAR THAT NIGHTY, HE'LL LOVE IT... NO IT WILL LOOK SMALL ON YOU..."

By the time she finally gets to the full service window, she has her own confrontation with the postal worker. "What do you mean I can't use Scotch Tape. That's not what you said last time!! ... I'd like a little less ATTITUDE from you!! ... No, I'm allowed to have this dog, it's a SERVICE dog!! ... Don't tell me to hurry up!! (she was taking a while to swipe her ATM card) ... Where's your manager, I demand to speak to the manager!!!"

This resulted in a further delay as the manager was summoned. So apparently there IS a manager there to keep operations and customer service running smoothly. I wonder if he's the one who scribbles out the hand drawn arrows, or if he delegates that responsibility.

Meanwhile the next guy on line behind her, after he gets his business done quickly and efficiently, is sure to inform her that she's a selfish bitch who is holding up the line. Me, I'm still wondering what kind of service that dog was doing for this woman.

Eventually the worker at the pickup window comes back, asks the guy to sign something... no idea what happened there, maybe they couldn't find his package... he goes on hi sway and the next customer walks up. She fetches his package in a minute or so, and then cleans up her area and walks away... break time.

Her replacement comes in within a minute, so can't really blame them for that... and eventually I get my package. BTW: everybody in my family is getting a bamboo cutting board for Christmas. And those suckers are HEAVY!!

Screw You Apple... and that goes double for MicroSoft

And don't give me any of this "that's OLD technology"... we've improved since then. I'm cursing you out because of how much you sucked THEN. I don't care how much you've improved... you were SUPPOSED to have stable products four years ago. And frankly, I don't believe you have improved one bit... if anything, you're probably layered more crap on top of crap and made things worse. Who do I blame? Apple? Microsoft? I blame them both for not TALKING to each other, and making things FAR more complicated than they should be.

So what am I griping about? Here's the deal...

A few years back, I built a new computer for my dad. It was the latest and the greatest (within a reasonable consumer's price range). Core 2 Duo, 8GB of memory, twin hard drives, beafy power supply... you know how I do. And a legal licensed version of WinXP (SP3).

All he needs to do is browse the web, read e-mail, run AOL (yes, they still have an app), view and edit photos, use Office (legal and licensed), and run iTunes w/ his iPod. Oh, and the Family Tree maker. THAT's IT.

So all of the sudden, when iTunes decides to update itself with features NOBODY gives a rats ass about... it tells him "Your computer is trying to access a network resource that is no longer available. Can't find iTunes.msi"

OK, this computer NEVER had access to any "network resource" that would be capable of mounting a volume and serving up a file like "iTunes.msi". That's just pure crap.

So I get the call, block off some time, and head up to dad's apartment. I try to force the manual update... get the same message he was complaining about (and he dutifully copied it down on yellow legal pad for my benefit, and seemed to expect me to read it and have a solution off the top of my head... sorry dad, it doesn't work that way). BTW: it took Apple's servers 11 minutes to get ready to attempt to update. Hey Apple, instead of paying a dividend, how about a few extra pipes to your servers ?!?

So maybe it's just the online updater that is confused... how about I d/l the standalone installer from Apple.com. OK, so another 11 minutes later, I have the .exe. A few minutes later, I get the same message... they just don't seem to be able to update their own damn software if they can't find a file that may or may not have existed on a non-existent server that is no longer there.

OK, time to do a quick web search before I go any further. Ah, right away, somebody else has the same issue. The solution is simple... uninstall iTunes, run Window's own registry fixer, then reinstall iTunes... however this poor soul online found that they could not uninstall iTunes because they kept getting that same message "network resource not available, can't find .msi".

OK, so let me start by getting this registry fixer from Windows. The article was kind enough to link me to it. However, that piece of software no longer exists. Windows now suggests you install their "Fix It" program. MS touts that it will fix problems with installs and uninstalls BEFORE you attempt to do the uninstall. Hmm... sounds good to me. Click and get the "Fix It". Now run "Fix It"... uh, Fix It requires .net.

OK, go to MS and get .net. Oh shit, there's a WIZARD getting involved now. Sooo, Wizard doesn't ask much, just checks my system and asks if I agree to their license... fine, I don't know what you are, or what you want from me... but sure, I'll agree if you'll just let me get ON with this procedure.

So IMMEDIATELY after I do this FRESH install of .net, what does the Wizard tell me? I should really run the UPDATES so it is secure and stable. But wait, this was a FRESH install... why the HELL do I need updates?!? Isn't that YOUR JOB Mr. Wizard??

15 minutes later I'm ready to run Fix It. Fix it then downloads some stuff, installs some sort of "power shell" app, then I agree to their terms... then it scans the regi, then suggests I just let it fix EVERYTHING. I say "No, prompt me". Then it asks what I want to do... I select "iTunes" from the list, and chose "I want to update iTunes". Nope, can't help you with that. Oh, and there's a "back" button on that window, so I should be able to go back and try another option from their suggestions, right? Nope, the back button is grey. After they could not help me with my problem, there were no other choices except to quit Fix It.

OK, lets run Fix It again... wait, it's not on the start menu, no icon on the desktop... did this thing install? Back to the actual file I downloaded, and it goes through the whole thing again... d/l some stuff, asks me to agree to their terms... scans the regi, suggests I fix everything... I say "prompt me" and this time choose "uninstall iTunes". OK Fix It... do your stuff. You should be able to uninstall iTunes, right? I mean, that's what you DO, right? That's what you just TOLD me you could do, right?

Window comes up saying "Trying to fix problem with iTunes"... a progress bar with a meaningless indicator... a series of squares that run across the whole bar, then repeat... does NOT indicate any progress, time left, actions taken... NOTHING.

I hear the hard drive clickity clack (quiet these days, but I can hear it). So I wait... and I wait... and I wait... OK, how long does it take to uninstall an app? Stop services, delete files, edit registry, restart services (if any)... what, seven minutes? (I'd say 45 seconds, but I'm being generous here).

Run down to my apartment, check the rice "Damn, over done... glad it didn't burn!" Check my messages, return a few phone calls, back up to pop's place... this must be 20 minutes later... guess what ?!? EXACTLY where I left it.

Still, no indication WHAT this thing is doing... NONE. It's just "Trying to fix problem with iTunes".

So I tell pop, let this run all night, I'll come back and check in the morning. Who wants to bet that it's still trying to fix problem with iTunes ten hours from now ?!?

I can't believe I used to do this for a living. Good Riddance !!

Tale of Two Tablets, two stores, and two sides of town.

OK, so here's the premise... in my typical fashion, two weeks ago I told my friends I was starting to research which Tablet Computer is the best choice for Christmas 2011, and I was going to go down to the two flagship showrooms and grill the professional sales force, and report back with some definitive insights. So after a few quick searches, and a few articles, I finally (two weeks later) headed down get the hands on experience.

Now just for historical context...
It is now 2011... the eve of 2012. This year marked the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11th. This year was the 100th birthday of the New York Public Library. The two southern entrances of Central Park had long since been established... Grand Army Plaza on the East and Columbus Circle on the West.

Two years ago, the media announced the final demise of the CRT (Cathode Ray Tube) and since then virtually everybody has switched over to a High Definition Flat Screen.

Steve Jobs died this year.

The first iPod was released 10 years ago.

Born the 60's, coming of age in the 70's, I saw the hippies, the punks, the grunge, the hipsters, disco, hip hop... I spent HOURS as a kid playing Pinball... mastering the nuance of my favorite machines. (Paragon... Fireball... FirePower... ) I saw the first video games EVER... Pong, Texas Shoot Out, Sea Wolf, Space Wars, Space Invaders, Asteroids, etc etc etc.

I owned an Apple ][ computer, with TWO floppy drives (the old 5.25 inch vinyl disks, and I'd cut a notch w/ a toe nail clipper so I could flip them over and use the other side). The two Steves were legends... Jobs and Wosniak, Wosniak being the ACTUAL genius, the other soon to be forgotten to history as the "smoke and mirrors" guy. (ok, so much for predictions)

BTW: that Apple ][ went for about $1300... not including a monitor. We just used an old TV.

But I digress... here we are 2011. Eve of 2012. Christmas is 11 days away. This is the year of the Tablet.

I was once actually PAID good money to be an early adopter. Advertising execs hired me (via their IT department) to poke around on the latest gadgets and report back to them. Long since I've been out of that game. I'm practically AMISH these days. I wait until tech is stable, then wait two more generations until it comes down in price... then I make the purchase. Well welcome to 2011 (eve of 2012).

So right now there are two stable products in direct competition. No other tablets are really relevant... and as we will see, even one of these is hardly relevant. The two contenders are the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 and the Apple iPad 2.

Cut to the chase... bottom line... Reader's Digest version...
... just pick one, buy it, and enjoy. Both products are essentially equivalent in functionality, in user experience, and in price. There is no WRONG choice here.

Want the nitty gritty... here's the chart and a decent article.
Galaxy 10.1 vs iPad2

So to cover the main concerns, if you want to chose between the two, only a few things matter.

BOTH are slim, light weight, and AMAZINGLY cool.
BOTH show movies in HD, photos, music, news, etc.
BOTH have BEAUTIFUL graphics displays.
BOTH now let you zoom in and out w/ your thumb and index finger in a "pinch" motion.
BOTH give that cool "flip of the finger" motion to scroll from page to page, including the nuance where if you flip faster, you will scroll faster and see "virtual momentum".
BOTH will take a day or two to get used to, a week or two to get the nuance, and inside a month you will probably have it down to second nature
BOTH go for between $500-$700

The hardware differences are VAST, yet from the end user's point of view, completely minimal. Does anybody really care??? The REAL difference is the Operating System. (iPad is 7 grams heavier... yes, the weight of seven paper clips... yet is about 1/8 inch slimmer. You GET me?)

So let's talk about quickly about Apple's image... and hypocrisy.
Let's just start with this, shall we?
Apple's 1984 commercial.

From DAY ONE, Apple kept tight control on their proprietary rights. Fair enough. They invented stuff, they want to OWN that stuff, and monetize that stuff. Let's ignore for one second that they actually STOLE the graphics user interface from Xerox (literally while the boss was out of the office, and a lackey let them in, and they downloaded the entire Xerox library of code). So how is it that this corporation who fiercely protects its proprietary rights and is attempting to dominate the marketplace... how are they seen as "raging against the machine"???

While Apple was building the Macintosh, there was already an "open source" community that was actually offering alternatives to the establishment. In fact IBM's first computers, and what is TO THIS DAY considered to be the "Windows Platform" is in really an open system. Apple IS the machine against which they are raging.

OK, this is getting far to long. Let me get to the main point, and describe my experience today.

Came out of the subway at Columbus Circle. The South West Entrance to Central Park. The statue of Christopher Columbus standing here since 1892, and the monument to The Maine (remember The Maine) since 1911. The Time Warner Center has been here for a decade, replacing the old New York Colosseum. I walk in the big main entrance, go upstairs two escalator flights up (paste the now defunked Boarders Bookstore... talk about irony)... up to the Samsung Flagship Showroom. It's BEAUTIFUL. Glass walls looking out over Columbus Circle and Central Park... tables set up w/ the tablets, sections on the side with the new Flat Screens, Laptops, Home Theater Systems...

Three freak/nerds at the main doorway to welcome me in. All wearing the nice Samsung clothes, ties on the gentlemen... but the tattoos and matted thick hair and unshaven faces gave away their freakish nature. (all good... I'm FINE with that). I should have stopped right there and stated my case... "I'm here too look at your Galaxy 10.1, ask a few questions, and then head across town to the Apple Store... now SELL ME your product !!!"

Nah, I walked by them, and headed to the table and poked around on the several Galaxy Tab 10.1 tablets that were on display. Spent a good 10 or 15 minutes getting a good idea of what was there. Mind you, I don't have Android ANYTHING right now... so I'm completely naive. Was able to pull up videos, pictures, web... found my OWN YouTube vids... assumed FB would work (didn't want to punch in my FB password on the demo unit).

Now here's what I want to talk about... this is THE FLAGSHIP STORE... at Columbus Circle, NYC... looking over Central Park... just upstairs is Jazz at Lincoln Center. This is the BIG TIME.

So I look around the store... not a lot of customers there. Mostly Euro-tourists. Some kids poking around on the Tablets or checking out the Home Theaters. No hustle, no bustle. The few workers (besides the nerds at the door) were more interested in surfing the web, or checking their FB accounts.

I looked over at the Samsung rep next to me, he was about 19 years old, native New Yorker from The Barrio... he didn't acknowledge my presence, was just poking around on a tablet. So I said "Can I ask you a few questions? First of all is the easy one... I'm thinking about buying a few of these for my family, but next I'm going across town to the Apple Store. Why should I buy the Galaxy instead of the iPad?"

OK, softball... should have a list of 10 reasons at the tip of his tongue. He was clueless. "Uh... do you like Android?" I said, "I don't know... I don't use Android." "Uh, well, if you like Android, well this runs Android... other than that... well, they're kind of the same."

DAMN KID... at least give me the sales pitch.

So I say "I have a camera in my pocket... I just shot a few pictures outside. Can you show me how to put them on this tablet?"

He said "Uh, we don't have a cable that connects to your camera. I think you have to go through a web site or something."

I repeated "Or something? Really?"

He said, "Yeah, maybe something like Snapfish."

OK, so he's useless. I pull over the Asian kid. I ask the same question. He's FAR more knowledgeable... which isn't really saying much. He said, if you plug this into your home computer with the USB cable, you can just drag and drop your pictures into the picture folder."

I said, "So it just mounts like an external hard drive? Doesn't launch some sort of iTunes app? I can just drag and drop? I like that... can you SHOW ME THAT?!?"

He says, "What do you mean?" I say, "well can you plug this tablet into a computer that's running Windows 7, and show me that it mounts like an external hard drive, doesn't launch some proprietary app, and lets me drag and drop files?"

He says, "Uh, well this unit is connected by a security device. And besides, we'd need a computer to show that."

I say, "Yeah, but this is a really basic feature. This is your main show room... in Columbus Circle... in New York City. In fact right there is a whole section of Samsung laptop computers on display. Can't you show me how you can connect this tablet to one of those computers, and move files to it?"

Him, "Uh, let me see." Talks to security guy... like this never ever came up before. They break out the special key, unhook the device, and we walk over to the laptop section. Unfortunately, the security device USB cable isn't standard, so he has to go into the back room to find a USB cable.

Meanwhile, one of the (apparently) main nerds who was manning the front door (remember the freak/nerds who welcomed me?) comes over because clearly something weird was going on. He seemed sort of flabbergasted that this guy left an unsecured tablet in front of me, while he went into the back room to look for a cable... he grabbed the tablet and held it until the guy came back from the back room. So twenty minutes in, I got to see that a Galaxy Tab running Android (Honeycomb 3.1) does mount as a hard drive and lets you drag and drop files. NICE! I like that !!! How about THEM Apples ?!? :-)

Next two questions, them I'm outta here. "Can I use this as a GPS?" "Sure, if you get the 3G version." "But under no circumstances will I be paying a monthly fee... so can I use the Galaxy Tab as a GPS without a monthly fee?" Answer, mostly accurate... "No."

But here's what bugged me... I said "are you sure?" He said, "Let me check..." Did he go to a supervisor, to a Samsung Wiki, to some definitive source of information? No, he went to Google.com and typed in Galaxy Tab 10.1 GPS. For THIS I came down to the flagship store?!?

Well before I left, I stopped by the nerd/geeks at the door. Turns out I should have just started with them. They were the guys who knew the products, knew the nuance, new what was what. There IS a USB connector offered by Garman that allows your Galaxy to act as a GPS. Otherwise, even without the G3 network, if you are in a WiFi hotspot (basically anywhere in NYC) you are likely to get a damn good idea of your location... but once you're outside the city, you need 3G and a monthly contract to figure out where you are. Also discussed a bit about development (something the floor guys were CLUELESS about). You can EASILY develop on the Galaxy, with just a USB cable, or your wireless network, or the Google environment. (Again, try that on Apple)

During this whole time (almost an hour), there was not a single SALE made in this Samsung show room. Just tourists poking around, and me asking easy questions that sent up red flags.

OK, walk across town to the main Apple Store in Grand Army Plaza... the OTHER main entrance to Central Park. No views of the park from here... Apple Store is under ground, inside the big glass cube, down the spiral staircase.

WOW!!! Maybe TWO THOUSAND people bustling all around the store. People lined up in a maze of ropes waiting for... well I don't know WHAT they were on line for. Red shirted "geniuses" pre-emptively asking people "can I help you... do you have any questions?" Though it was sometimes hard to get their attention, as they seemed to be waving people over form one table to another to show them some other device. And keep in mind, there are now FOUR Apple Stores in Manhattan... Grand Army Plaza (in front of FAO Schwartz), B'Way and 65th (there abouts... upper West Side), 14th Street and 9th, and NOW Grand Central Terminal. Each one equally as bustling.

The guy next to me got the attention of a sales rep, and she pleasantly gave advice and recommendations, and promptly sold him two iPads w/ extended warranties... each coming to about $750. She disappeared for a few minutes and returned with his iPads in the boxes, and a nifty Apple shopping bag (kinda like a knapsack).

She then happily turned her attention to me. I knew I was not gonna get to plug an iPad2 into a Win 7 PC, but I asked what would happen. She assured me, all communications to the iPad2 go through iTunes. You don't get folders, it doesn't mount like a flash drive, you are always "inside" iTunes.

When I asked her how I move my pictures from my camera to the iPad, she happily asked me to wait for a minute... and returned promptly with the solution... a usb adapter that would accept my HDSD card.

As with the Galaxy, the only true GPS functionality comes with a contract and monthly fee. Unlike the Galaxy, they DON'T offer a GPS add on device.

Development? Well apparently that's a whole other story. If you want to develop for the iPad, you need to upload your apps to Apple's central brain-tank... and if they're OK with what you're doing, they will allow you to download your own app onto your own device, and see if it works. Yes this IS the machine they were RAGING AGAINST !!! Keep in mind, Apple has been known to "brick" their devices. Yes THEIR devices... even though you bought it... if they don't like what you are doing with it, they will send the sliver bullet through the air waves and turn it into a door stop.

And finally, I really need to add the final feature... FLASH. Since Steve Jobs doesn't like the content that is being delivered by some people who use FLASH technology (ahem... porn), he decided to cripple the iPad. The iPad runs FLASH perfectly... but it will ONLY run FLASH when it is streaming content from YouTube. Otherwise, FLASH will not run. You paid for the device, but HE gets to decide (from the grave) what you do with it.

So there it is. Two very similar devices. A few technical advantages for each. Mostly the exact same functionality. Galaxy runs Android, is open source, allows drag and drop, allows easy development, and allows you to run Flash and watch porn. iPad runs iOS, is proprietary, does not allow drag and drop, needs to go through Apple's central office for development, and does not run Flash except for YouTube.

Neither can run as a GPS without a monthly fee, though for a one time purchase, you can get a GPS adapter for the Galaxy.

People are CRAMMED into the Apple Store, grabbing the knowledgeable staff and making purchases hand over fist. Inventory is FLYING off the shelf. Samsung store is staffed mostly by flunkies and a few knowledgeable managers, and is mostly empty to the point where you can hear crickets chirping... no sales to be seen.

Grand Central Terminal tour

Was fun and interesting, though could have been better in my opinion. The tour was sponsored by the Grand Central Development Corp (or group, our whatever they're called). They are the group who puts out the information kiosks, the garbage cans, etc etc... apparently taxes in NYC only go so far, and are not enough to cover things like Central Park, or Zuccotti Park, or to keep districts up to par... so the better connected groups can organize and make their own areas better with their "Development Corps" (or whatever they're called).

We started in the lobby (privately owned public space) of a building across the street. For almost an hour it was a lecture by the guide, with some pictures on a clipboard (just a few, like 4 or 5).

The guide was a dandy of a fellow, in a nice suite and bow tie, with a brass white rabbit on the lapel of his suite coat. I'm going out on a limb here, and guess that he's an old gay jew in his late 60s. While he was a fountain of information, he also was putting on a show. I guess that's what we tour guides do. But he can't sing, or dance... and his jokes are pretty bad. He often uses volunteers from the audience for visual aids, except that he's expressing simple concepts that don't really need a visual aide, so they end up sort of cheap ways to get audience participation for no real reason (imo). For example, hes demonstrating that the building we were in did not own the land it was resting on... they really just own the air rights, i.e. the rights to build above the land below them. So he brings up a woman, asks her to remove her glove, hold her hand out in front of her, and has several people touch her hand and asks how it feels. Not really sure what that was about, people awkwardly said "warm" and "soft"... really just a way to get a few people involved in the demo I guess... then asked what she was holding in her hand. Eventually we came to the conclusion (ok, he just said it) that she was holding hundreds of millions of dollars of air... then he started blowing air towards her hand saying "millions and millions of dollars". OK, kind of cute, got a vague smile from some people. But we didn't come here for the silly demonstrations, or to be entertained... we came here for INFORMATION. (well, I did) Honestly, there are funnier people to make you laugh, better entertainers on every street corner of Times Square... let's just stick to the stories.

But I get it, and he IS THE professional. But it reminded me of a magician... minus the magic. His big reveal was not some mind-bending illusion, but a simple fact.

That said, he did have some really interesting and enlightening facts and stories about NYC, Park Avenue, architecture in general, socio-politics, religion, business, finances, literature, etc. I just didn't need the silly visuals... they were distracting to me, and dragged the process out rather than making it more interesting. Most entertaining is the old gay dude trying to visually demonstrate how a man would make romantic gestures towards a woman. Round hole, square peg.

To a large extent it was his version of New York History, starting with a diatribe about how NYC and America at large was not a Christian nation. Now I was told, as tour guides, we should avoid religion and politics... which of course is impossible if you are talking about history and site, which are inevitably tied to religion and politics... but there are boundaries. He seemed to be proselytizing, or perhaps challenging some potential tourists from the Bible Belt (don't know if any were present)... trying to inject his New York Liberal Gay Jew paradigm. I also note, this forum was not a debate... while there were some questions and comments from the audience, it was mostly his monologue. So nobody could really challenge his assertions.

Mind you, he did have a convincing argument... and I agree with him on most of his points. I'm just not sure why this was the forum for this subject... and not sure we got the whole story.

But this was not for no reason at all, it lead into the construction of St. Patrick's Cathedral... built by those NON-Christians known as the Irish Catholics... his point being that the only official Christians in NYC were the ones who acknowledged the British Monarch as the head of the Church. Irish were NOT allowed to be buried inside the City Limits, so they built their own Cathedral out in the sprawling grassy hinterlands.

He made clear that the event includes a tour of Grand Central Terminal, but was sponsored by the consortium to bring awareness to the whole neighborhood... thus the history lesson was appropriate. The tour of GCT was cool, but by now I knew pretty much all the facts that he relayed to us. For me, it was more of a learning experience as to how a professional tour guide works. This guy literally wrote the tour guide test.

Just like my instructor (and his buddy) Lee Gelber, he's a bit out of date. For example, telling the crowd how The Hotel Pennsylvania has the most famous phone number... and goes into a little routine where he hums the tune and dances a bit, and expects the crowd to all chime in and sing Pennsylvania 6 5000. One guy (besides me) knew the lyric. Uh, everybody knows the most popular phone number is 867-5309 !!!

Best Tour Ever

At about 5:45pm my dispatcher tells me he's got a charter for me. That could mean anything, but he gives me the detail sheet. Jump in a van on 8th ave in Midtown, meet the driver, head over to the Essex House on Central Park South, and pick up six passengers for a four hour tour (actually took 3 hours).

Well the six passengers were a couple in their 70's, their two kids and a spouse (in their 40's), and a couple of grand-kids (maybe 5 and 8). This is all wide open... I got the van, a driver, and my clients... so I ask, "So what do you folks have in mind?"

"Well, we just want to drive around New York, head downtown, maybe see the Statue of Liberty. I don't know, you tell us."

"OK, we can do that. So where are you from?"

After a bit of conversation, and the ice breaks, I hear from the older folks "If possible, could we maybe take a detour into Brooklyn? You see, my wife an I were both stationed here in New York City 51 years ago... over in the Brooklyn Navy Yards. I was in the Marines, she was in the Navy. We lived here in New York for two years, and we got married here... 51 years ago. We'd like to go past the place and see what's still there."

Kept my composure, and just smiled and said "Yes sir, I think we can do that for you."

Gave them the grand tour down 5th Avenue, the New York Public Library, Lord and Taylor w/ the window displays up, Cartier wrapped up like a Christmas Package... THANK YOU CHRISTMAS for coming so early !!! Pull out all my best stories, answer questions, then over the Manhattan Bridge, see the Brooklyn Bridge, The Statue of Liberty, etc.

Then off to find the Navy Yards... not hard, it's just off Navy Street. (go figure)

"Look honey, remember... that was my post, right there. Look, that's where I stayed... where was your place. Oh yeah, right down the street, over there...WOW. OMG, such memories!!!"

Next he starts schooling me on the receiving station, the different functions going on in the different buildings... "carpentry over there, welding over there..."

He's telling me about how he and his seven buddies would go into Chinatown in Manhattan and order enough food for 20 people. How they never had to pay for a drink when they were in uniform... and how they took advantage of that fact. How they knew the bar which didn't exactly "close" but would just lock their door for an hour or so at 4am. (I said "come up to Inwood some time.")

Back through Brooklyn Heights... "Hey, that's where I had to go to get my marriage license."

Finally back to Manhattan and daughter asks for Nolita... well luckily I had done my walking tours and taken all those photos... I took them by the old Police Station (that AMAZING one), and then down some streets where we could peek into the windows and catch a glimpse the LOFT apartments done up with chandeliers and bookcases.

OK, I knew we had to go past The Intrepid (lots of oohs and ahhs), and as I'm about to take them back home, I get "My daughter wants to see the New Years Ball."

Sooo down 7th Avenue... they were amazed with the flashing lights... how it was like daylight in Times Square. The old guy tells me that he was IN Times Square on New Years Eve in the early 60's... how he (standing at 6'2") was held up by the crowds, his feet not touching the floor... just one hand on his wallet the whole time.

End of the trip, "Thanks Kevin, that was PERFECT. Thanks for bringing back some great memories."

"The pleasure was all mine. I'm glad I could be part of this experience."

Oh, and the commemorative picture of Benjamin Franklin they gave me was a nice touch. :)

Maiden Voyage

Arrrgggg me laddies, come and hear the tale of me maiden voyage... and how I narrowly avoided death, and lived to tell of it.

OK, wasn't really harrowing, but it was every bit as nerve racking as I thought it might be.

I'm supposed to show up at 3:25. I showed up early, had my notes on cards on a clip board for easy reference in case I got stuck, had my mic and my tip jar, got my license on display in my neck lanyard. I walk over to the only driver and I introduce myself, and he says I MIGHT be on his next bus, or maybe the next one. I should go talk to the dispatcher. Dispatcher is a thug-life home boy working his cell phone, doesn't seem to want to pay any attention to me. Eventually I get his attention and told him I was told to show up at 3:25. He says, "OK, I'll put you on the 3:40 tour. Wait over there." That gives me a good 15 minutes.

Stage fright is at it's max... I sort of want to just walk away and say "This was a stupid idea anyway." JUST THEN I got a text, from a girl I know who likes to send inspirational messages once in a while. I haven't heard from her in six months at least... she has no idea what I'm doing. It read something like "Face your fears, do something new and exciting, be with new people today..."

Not two seconds later, the dispatcher says, "OK, I gotta use you RIGHT NOW... that's your bus."

It's already loaded w/ people. That's not supposed to happen. You're supposed to talk to them while they're standing on line, ask where they're from, how are they enjoying NYC, etc. Then you go up and test your mic, set up your tip jar, come back down and check tickets as you welcome each individual onto the bus.

Nope! I look at the preferred place to plug in the mic, at the seat near the top of the stairs... and there's nothing but a hole in the metal. So I run up to the front of the bus, as far away from the stairs as possible. Takes me almost a whole minute to get the mic chord plugged into the jack which is mounted at a weird angle. Meanwhile, the bus starts to move.

So as soon as I get a sound out of the mic, I just go for it. I channel every WWE wrestler, every Rock Star, everybody who has ever successfully worked a mic... and I just start... "Hello, and WELCOME TO NEW YORK CITY... we start today's tour in the Theater District as we head uptown... There are 40 theaters in New York City that qualify as 'Broadway Theaters'..." The notes never made it out of my backpack.

At each stop I announce, "So does anybody want to HOP OFF at the next stop..." Nobody got off the whole time. So either they liked what they were hearing, and wanted to hear more... or I wasn't selling the sites convincingly. I'm just gonna assume they liked what they were hearing.

Two hours later, after a lot of stuttering and stammering, flubbing a few facts here and there, searching for words that just didn't come... we pulled back into Time's Square. These folks got to see the Theater District, Columbus Circle, Lincoln Center, Central Park West, The Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Columbia University, Riverside Church, Grant's Tomb, The George Washington Bridge, HARLEM, Museum Mile (5th Avenue along Central Park), Grand Army Plaza (lower corner of Central Park), Central Park South, Carnegie Hall, and back to Times Square.

After splitting the tips with the driver, 50/50, I had enough to buy my fruit for the week with a couple of dollars left over. I get on the schedule in a day or two and should get 3 or 4 tours in a day. Not gonna get rich, but I said all along, this is the entry level. I'll do this through the summer while I begin networking and start building a repertoire of my own walking tours. Apparently with the right marketing, and the right product, a good guide can make a very comfortable living in this city.

Bill Cunningham New York Hero

Well maybe "hero" is a bit strong. But this guy is an awesome character. Yesterday I went down to the Film Forum and caught the biography on him "Bill Cunningham New York".
Wiki

He's the most happy-go-lucky guy in the world. He's a fashion photographer and columnist for the New York Times. He's known for just wandering the streets of NYC all day, snapping pictures of people and spotting fashion trends. He's been at it since the late 60s.

The high end fashion world would all KILL to have their gear appear in his weekly column. They are continuously offering him HUGE sacks of cash, perks, wine/women/song... all the luxuries that so many people dream of. The kind of luxuries that go on in the upper floors and private clubs in NYC, that most mortal people just don't get to see. But he has NO DESIRE for any of that. While working the biggest and most extravagant events, he won't eat or drink anything... not so much as a glass of water. He'll eat in a deli or diner before hand... loves the $3 bacon and egg sandwiches and coffee.

It's actually kind of weird... it really is an obsession with this guy. He spends all day every day snapping photos, and editing them together for his weekly column, except for about an hour on Sundays when he goes to church. Not married, never ever dated... just had no time for any of that. Is not gay, claims he has normal physical cravings like everybody else, but just doesn't have time for romance.

For most of his career, and while they shot this movie (last year some time), he lived in Carnegie Hall. Yes, that world famous concert hall one block south of Central Park. Sounds like a pretty expensive and extravagant place to live, right?

Well at one time, Carnegie Hall had large and small studios for rent. Dance groups and choreographers, photographers, and fashion designers took up space in there... with a separate entrance, right next to the main entrance to the hall. The musical Oklahoma was choreographed in there, to give you an idea of how big some of the studios must have been. He started there as a millinery (hat designer) in a tiny little one-room on the corner... and he never left. During the filming of this documentary, it was loaded with nothing but file cabinets, and a makeshift bed... a board and a mattress propped up on four masonry blocks, with books stored underneath. The only other things in this "studio apartment" are file cabinets and loads of books stacked up all over the place, and room for his Schwinn bicycle... his 29th Schwinn... the other 28 were all stolen.

His few clothes were on hangers hung off the handles of his filing cabinets. Sometimes he'd have to move a couple of hangers to get to a particular drawer to pull out negatives of a photo shoot he was looking for.

The bathroom and shower were in the hallway outside his studio, shared with other tenants. There was no kitchen. It was rent controlled.

He spends most of his time on the streets of NYC, at fashion shows, or working at social and fund-raising events.

Or he's in his area in the New York Times building (the big new one). His area consists of a block of a few cubicals, one of those light tables so he can view negatives, a computer where mostly he arranges the layouts for his weekly column (his assistant does the actual mousing of the layout, cropping, pasting, etc... while he says "No, don't cut off her arms... they're the most beautiful arms in New York...")

Carnegie Hall (owned by the City of New York, apparently) is run by a management company who decided they wanted to evict the 3 people left in the building who still called this their residence. They found comparable (or "better") accommodations for these tenants, in the area (i.e. ON Central park w/ views and a kitchen, bathroom, and closet). They show him going through a couple of places w/ the agent and he's like "Why do I need a kitchen? Just something more to clean. What would I PUT in that closet anyway?"

Apparently Carnegie Hall split up the studios (not his, his was TINY) into Telemarketing offices and cubical farms for businesses.

So anyway, over the years this guy has developed friendships with some of the most wealthy and influential people in the world, notably "Lady Astor" the 90-ish heir of the Astor fortune. Publishers, politicians, designers, philanthropists... he knows them all. Apparently The New York Times pays him a very decent salary. He took on some side jobs as well, most notably his work with Details Magazine starting in the early 80s (now defunct). However, he refused to take any money from Details. The first check Details offered him, he went in to his boss (the publisher) and ripped it up. He didn't want them to "own" him or influence him in any way. His attitude was "take my work as it is, or don't... but don't ever tell me what to do". They were known to publish 100+ page issues, featuring up and coming designers who nobody had yet heard of... apparently that's an unheard of number of pages for a magazine. They said that this magazine got bought out by another, and is now part of the Conde Naste empire (just down the street from NY Times building)... he didn't accept his share of the buyout either. Conde still sends a letter now and then telling him they have a check for him.

He quit working for another high profile magazine when they used his work against his intent. He did a column featuring shots of high end fashion on runway models at the fashion shows, and then the same clothing on people he saw randomly walking down the street. The magazine used unflattering captions for the "common" people. This was 100% opposite his philosophy, that fashion was ALL ABOUT what the common person wears on the street.

There's a great scene in the movie where he's in the crowd outside one of the biggest fashion events in Paris, and he's showing his press ID to the young chick at the gate... with a THRONG of people trying to get in, or at least snap a photo of people who ARE getting in. One guy behind the velvet rope reached passed this young girl and took him by the arm and escorted him in, while telling the girl "This is the most important man in the UNIVERSE right now."

He was honored in Paris for his work, and at the gala event he spent the whole night like he does every other night... snapping photos of the guests. He tells the promoters of events, "Don't even send me a guest list. I don't care if you have celebrities or royalty there. If I like the charity, I'll show up and your event will be featured in the NY Times. I don't CARE about who is in the dress, I'll find a good fashion layout at any event... or even better, in the street outside."

He is also noted for calling BS when he sees it. He's gone into his archive and published (in The Times) side by sides of some "new" designer's work, right next to something 30 years old... embarrassingly similar.

He also published some shots of models many years later, who he randomly caught on the streets of New York, in almost the exact same poses (just naturally occurring) that appeared 30 years earlier on the covers of magazines... such as a woman stepping over a puddle.

While the credits are rolling at the end, they flash a note saying that he signed a lease for a new apartment and is moving in this month.