Ever watch an entire half hour late night infomercial? How about one that lasts more than an hour? I knew what I was getting into, but I went anyway... and I regret it just the same.
Talk about Bait and Switch, the Rich Dad Poor Dad guy, Robert whatever his name is, wasn't even there. It was HIS product they were selling, but he wasn't there. We got a pitchman who could have just as well been selling knives or vacuum cleaners or crazy glue.
Don't get me wrong, he was EXCELLENT at what he does. I have seldom seen or heard a sales pitch so well crafted. And this guy was one of the guys who could talk SUPER FAST when he wanted to... like an auctioneer. They hit every one of the psychological buttons... they said every thing EXCEPT "act now, don't delay". Well they really DID say that, many many times... but not that exact phrase.
They actually went into a big thing about "What's the difference between the rich and to poor..." and one of the big points that they kept coming back to was "The rich TAKE ACTION !" And when it came time to reveal the big pitch, it was accompanied by "Take Action".
It was all well and good, with they guy trying to "make it fun... let's have fun with this... boy you guys are grumpy today... hey, this side of the room is louder than THAT side" ... trying to stir up audience participation... just like they do late night. (Host: "set it ..." Audience: "... and forget it!" accompanied by a big round of applause, by the audience, for the audience, because they can say the phrase "and forget it".)
BTW: this was the same routine Joe Hayes used to do at the Children's Theater down at Long Beach Island. "Hi boys and girls!! ... WHAT??? I can't HEAR YOU !!!"
I also saw this technique spelled out in a "How to do children's parties" guide for magicians.
I also saw Paul Stanley do this at a Kiss Concert.
So remember, the whole idea was that he was going to show us how to make money in the stock market, even when stocks are going down... or sideways. I'll jump ahead and tell you... what he was ACTUALLY going to show you how to register for a three day training session, including the study kit (in the limited edition yellow canvas bag), all for the low low price of $200. But wait... since you showed up, if you sign up today before you leave this room, we'll let you bring a guest with you to the three day session.
Truth is, this was really a pretty good deal. You got a couple of booklets on trading techniques, Robert's latest book Prophesy, the software CD (Mach Trader) which scans the market data in real time and gives you the charts and lists of stocks that meet your criteria, and one month free data feed from E-Signal (thereafter $45 per month, no contract, pay as you go)... and three days of training, for you and a friend. I suppose there might be more "opportunities" at the end of those 3 days (at a fee, of course).
It was all pretty light and upbeat, but at one point just before the big pitch, I SWEAR I saw horns grow out of this guy's head... in the name of Jesus! He was trying to impress upon us that he was not going to tell a lie, and that he would be accountable for what he was about to say... then went into this schpeel about how he attends a house of worship in his home town, based on a book 2000 years old, which gives the moral standards by which people have lived successful lives for all those years... all in his super fast pace. I heard some of the black ladies in the audience going into Gospel mode ("uh huh... you know it..."). He went on "... I'm accountable to my spouse and my community... we don't just want a good marriage, we want a GREAT marriage..." Apparently well chosen, because he was getting more "oh yea's" from the "congregation".
He also dragged out the America is the greatest country in the world, the most fertile green ground for investments... do you BELIEVE in America? Do you stand behind those men and women laying down their lives to protect our freedom?
Then finally the pitch... what you get, how much does it cost... act now and take a GUEST with you free... that DOUBLE's your value... bring your spouse and get TWICE the income into your home. Now this offer is only available at this price because you are HERE IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW. Call tomorrow, and the same offer over the phone will be $600.
Then he asks "How many are ready to sign up right now... cuz I'm gonna go on for another 90 minutes or however long it takes to go through as many of the investment techniques as I can... but let me first count who is ready to sign up RIGHT NOW.... 1, 2, 3..." (up to like 45) Then says, "while I start going into the details up here, how about all those who raised your hands go RIGHT TO THE BACK AND SIGN UP RIGHT NOW..."
So a ton of people head back to the tables in back, big ruckus in the room from this flurry of activity... and he says, for those of you who are NOT taking ACTION... I'll continue. Then he started to speak EVEN FASTER, being partially drowned out by the noisy room. Started showing the slides of searches you could do with the software, showed that if you looked at their MACD chart over time (that shows the "change in momentum") and bought and sold and shorted according to their method (as opposed to buying and holding)... making 5 transactions in APPLE in six months would have yielded a 26% gain, as opposed to a net loss. Then he paused and says "To those of you who DIDN'T take action... look behind you... you are now BEHIND all of those people. You have to stand in line and wait for THEM..." Then back to some more charts and slides.
Now, for those who never saw or heard "Rich Dad Poor Dad", the basic concept is to know the difference between assets and liabilities. Your HOME is not an asset, but a 2nd home which has a positive cash flow because you RENT it out... that's an asset. So he keeps going back to the "is this an asset or a liability..." game. He put up X-Box, and switched into "hellfire and tarnation" guy.... "it's a TOY for you CHILDREN, not for gown adults busy making money... and it teaches your children to be desensitized, to steal cars, to have their way with prostitutes, to sell crack, and to be lazy..." Then he puts up Education, Information, Knowledge, Financial Training... each going into the ASSET column... and finally he puts up Mach Trader for $200 in the Asset column.
He went back to more slides, but by then I'd had enough.
I did get my 5 gram block of 99.9% pure silver, in a soft pouch... and that's what I was really there for... the pouch.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Latest run in with New York City Beuracracy
Life with a car in NYC... you get tickets... it happens. OK, probably not to EVERYBODY, but it happens to me. I'm not making excuses, I take responsibility for my actions. I was putting off dealing with three tickets for far too long, and I finally decided to take the trip down to John Street to take care of them.
Clearly I put of the first one too long, as it was already "in judgment". Now there's a phrase you don't get to use very often... "in judgment"... but more on that later.
So by this point, I've been down this road once or twice before. I know the procedure, I know the terminology, I speak English, I'm a fairly well educated person... I should be able to usher this process along at maximum efficiency, right? Riiiight !!!
Here's the basic flow chart...
step 1) go to main information desk, get form to fill out and get number
step 2) sit in seats and watch board until your number assigns you to a bulletproof glass window
step 3) go to bulletproof glass window, hand them your form, and they print out your rap sheet.
(forget what it's really called, but it used to be listed out on ultra-thin fan-fold tractor-feed dot-matrix printout... now there's an image of each ticket, on heavy stock paper, one per 8.5x11 sheet)
step 4) take said rap sheet and head over to adjudicator area, have a seat, wait for your number
step 5) show rap sheet to adjudicator and see what they offer you... likely each offense will get steep reduction in fine
step 6) decide if you want to contest any of the offense
IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO CONTEST ANY, PROCEED TO STEP 9
step 7) proceed around the corner and wait for the next available judge
step 8) hand the judge your paperwork, swear in, state your name, sign in, plead your case, hope for the best. He can only dismiss the offense, or find you guilty in which case you are obliged to pay the full fine (not the reduced fine offered by the adjudicator)
step 9) proceed back to bullet proof glass area, to the cashiers in the back, and pay fine
step 10) get out of Dodge
Simple as pie, right? Riiiight !!!
Must have picked the right day and time (was there early in the morning), place was pretty empty. Front info desk had no line, smiles and courtesy from the workers, and ZERO wait time when my number was up right away. Yeee-hah, this is gonna be a breeze.
At bulletproof glass where I hand over my form. Woman takes my form and then looks at me. I wait. She waits. I wait.
She says, "What would you like to do?"
I give her my best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "I believe I have some outstanding tickets. I'd like to take care of them today."
She says, "You would like printouts of your tickets?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Which ones?"
I give her my 2nd best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "Since I'm here, I'd like to take care of all of them today."
She says,"You want printouts of all of them?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Can I see your license?"
I hand her my license, and she scans it in the electric beam. Then prints out two tickets, and a third sheet that lists all three offenses, one of which says "in judgment". Then takes out a PEN. Yes, a blue ball point ink PEN, and writes a series of numbers along the top of the page, which she is copying from the computer screen.
Can I repeat that for emphasis... after scanning my license with an electronic scanner, printing out two tickets ad a rap sheet, she WRITES a long series of numbers along the top of the rap sheet... numbers she's READING from the computer screen.
She hands me the stack, including the original form and my license, and asks "Is there anything else?"
I say, "No thank you. Now where do I go?"
Mind you, I don't know WHAT ELSE she could possibly do for me... I don't know what else she DOES there... as far as I can tell, that's ALL she does there, all day. And I DID know where to go, but I wanted to be sure we were all in agreement, and honestly, I wanted her to do her f'n job and direct the people towards the next stage.
She says, "Over that way to the adjudicator and wait for you number to come up."
So I head over to adjudicator, have a seat, and wait for my number to come up. Meanwhile two people come after me, and go right up to the desk, and the adjudicator deals with them. OK, apparently they DON'T go by the numbers at this point. I did notice that she directed both of those people around the side to go see the judges.
I approach the adjudicator, and say "I'm not sure if I should come right to you or wait for my number."
She says "It's fine, what do you have?"
I say "I just got my printout, and I'd like to adjudicate these tickets and fines."
She says "Go around and wait for the judge."
Hmmmm... that's not right. I'm pretty sure she's supposed to go through the papers and offer me a reduction. But I'm gonna play this there way, and see where it brings me. I go around and wait a few minutes for the next judge.
Nice guy... funny guy... comments on my ski lift tickets... (note to self, don't wear lift tickets next time, just in case I want to plead poverty, or insanity or something). He takes my paper work, I sign the electronic sign in gizmo, swear in, and he starts to type the hand written number into his computer. Tries it a few times, hands it back to me and says "read off that number to me"
I read it back slowly and accurately, and he says "Yeah, that's what I got... it's not working... go back and tell them that the number doesn't work. Come back to me if I'm around... or any of the other judges."
Yup, the one hand written part of the procedure... and the FUCKED it up !!!!
I go back to the same window, now waiting behind a lady who is yelling that she needs a copy of a ticket that they don't have for her. Eventually I get back there and say "The judge sent me back. This number is not right. It doesn't work." She punches around for a minute, crosses it out and writes it back again... this time with the digit she forgot to write... but it was still sloppy, so she wrote it out yet again.
Back to the same judge, have a good laugh about the missing digit, and he says "I see you have three tickets, but only two are coming up under this number. The third is in judgment. I could hear your case about the one in judgment, but not now, not under this number. You'll have to go back there and get another number for that one. So let's deal with these two. What's going on..."
I say "I'm kind of confused, I was going to just have these adjudicated."
He says, "So what are you doing here, you should have done that out at the desk."
I said, "I told them that's what I wanted to do... they sent me back here."
He said, "Well, let's look at this anyway... hmmm, ok, How about this... you'll still come out ahead... I'll just waive one ticket, find you guilty of the other, and that will be less than the adjudicated fines would have been."
I say, "Fair enough."
He says, "Then you can get back to the ski slopes, with your rosignol skis, and your salomon boots, and your SNS bindings, and be like Glen Plake... and starts prattling off half a dozen other ski terms."
I ask about the other ticket. He says that I can go get another number for that ticket, but I better have a good reason why I didn't pay it... like I was in Afghanistan fighting terrorists at the time, or something like that... otherwise the judgment will stand. "In Judgment" means that I was already found guilty.
Like I said, no excuses, I head over to the cashier and hand him all the paperwork. He looks at me, I look at him, he looks at me and says "So what do you want to do?"
I say, "I'd like to pay these fines, there are two of them... one of them was dismissed."
He says, "You can't just SAY THAT, you have to prove it."
I say, "How should I prove it?"
He says, "Show me what the judge gave you."
I point to the stack of papers that are in his hand.
He says begrudgingly, "Oh, ok... let me look... hmm... yes... ok... well, according to this, you had three fines, one was dismissed. What would you like to pay?"
I said, "I'd like to pay the two fines that I owe, and not pay the one that was dismissed."
He says, "Hmmm.. oh, ok. So where's the bill?"
I say, "I don't know."
He says, "They were supposed to give you a bill?"
I say, "Who was supposed to give me a bill?"
He says, "I don't know... the judge?... ahh, it doesn't matter..."
He then punches it into a glorified adding machine, and reads off the ribbon receipt $237.45. I pay cash and he pulls the change from an old school wooden money drawer. Punches something into a computer, and gets a printout that shows that I paid both fines.
Step 10... GET OUT OF DODGE.
Clearly I put of the first one too long, as it was already "in judgment". Now there's a phrase you don't get to use very often... "in judgment"... but more on that later.
So by this point, I've been down this road once or twice before. I know the procedure, I know the terminology, I speak English, I'm a fairly well educated person... I should be able to usher this process along at maximum efficiency, right? Riiiight !!!
Here's the basic flow chart...
step 1) go to main information desk, get form to fill out and get number
step 2) sit in seats and watch board until your number assigns you to a bulletproof glass window
step 3) go to bulletproof glass window, hand them your form, and they print out your rap sheet.
(forget what it's really called, but it used to be listed out on ultra-thin fan-fold tractor-feed dot-matrix printout... now there's an image of each ticket, on heavy stock paper, one per 8.5x11 sheet)
step 4) take said rap sheet and head over to adjudicator area, have a seat, wait for your number
step 5) show rap sheet to adjudicator and see what they offer you... likely each offense will get steep reduction in fine
step 6) decide if you want to contest any of the offense
IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO CONTEST ANY, PROCEED TO STEP 9
step 7) proceed around the corner and wait for the next available judge
step 8) hand the judge your paperwork, swear in, state your name, sign in, plead your case, hope for the best. He can only dismiss the offense, or find you guilty in which case you are obliged to pay the full fine (not the reduced fine offered by the adjudicator)
step 9) proceed back to bullet proof glass area, to the cashiers in the back, and pay fine
step 10) get out of Dodge
Simple as pie, right? Riiiight !!!
Must have picked the right day and time (was there early in the morning), place was pretty empty. Front info desk had no line, smiles and courtesy from the workers, and ZERO wait time when my number was up right away. Yeee-hah, this is gonna be a breeze.
At bulletproof glass where I hand over my form. Woman takes my form and then looks at me. I wait. She waits. I wait.
She says, "What would you like to do?"
I give her my best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "I believe I have some outstanding tickets. I'd like to take care of them today."
She says, "You would like printouts of your tickets?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Which ones?"
I give her my 2nd best "I'm perplexed" look, and then say "Since I'm here, I'd like to take care of all of them today."
She says,"You want printouts of all of them?"
I say, "Yes please."
She says, "Can I see your license?"
I hand her my license, and she scans it in the electric beam. Then prints out two tickets, and a third sheet that lists all three offenses, one of which says "in judgment". Then takes out a PEN. Yes, a blue ball point ink PEN, and writes a series of numbers along the top of the page, which she is copying from the computer screen.
Can I repeat that for emphasis... after scanning my license with an electronic scanner, printing out two tickets ad a rap sheet, she WRITES a long series of numbers along the top of the rap sheet... numbers she's READING from the computer screen.
She hands me the stack, including the original form and my license, and asks "Is there anything else?"
I say, "No thank you. Now where do I go?"
Mind you, I don't know WHAT ELSE she could possibly do for me... I don't know what else she DOES there... as far as I can tell, that's ALL she does there, all day. And I DID know where to go, but I wanted to be sure we were all in agreement, and honestly, I wanted her to do her f'n job and direct the people towards the next stage.
She says, "Over that way to the adjudicator and wait for you number to come up."
So I head over to adjudicator, have a seat, and wait for my number to come up. Meanwhile two people come after me, and go right up to the desk, and the adjudicator deals with them. OK, apparently they DON'T go by the numbers at this point. I did notice that she directed both of those people around the side to go see the judges.
I approach the adjudicator, and say "I'm not sure if I should come right to you or wait for my number."
She says "It's fine, what do you have?"
I say "I just got my printout, and I'd like to adjudicate these tickets and fines."
She says "Go around and wait for the judge."
Hmmmm... that's not right. I'm pretty sure she's supposed to go through the papers and offer me a reduction. But I'm gonna play this there way, and see where it brings me. I go around and wait a few minutes for the next judge.
Nice guy... funny guy... comments on my ski lift tickets... (note to self, don't wear lift tickets next time, just in case I want to plead poverty, or insanity or something). He takes my paper work, I sign the electronic sign in gizmo, swear in, and he starts to type the hand written number into his computer. Tries it a few times, hands it back to me and says "read off that number to me"
I read it back slowly and accurately, and he says "Yeah, that's what I got... it's not working... go back and tell them that the number doesn't work. Come back to me if I'm around... or any of the other judges."
Yup, the one hand written part of the procedure... and the FUCKED it up !!!!
I go back to the same window, now waiting behind a lady who is yelling that she needs a copy of a ticket that they don't have for her. Eventually I get back there and say "The judge sent me back. This number is not right. It doesn't work." She punches around for a minute, crosses it out and writes it back again... this time with the digit she forgot to write... but it was still sloppy, so she wrote it out yet again.
Back to the same judge, have a good laugh about the missing digit, and he says "I see you have three tickets, but only two are coming up under this number. The third is in judgment. I could hear your case about the one in judgment, but not now, not under this number. You'll have to go back there and get another number for that one. So let's deal with these two. What's going on..."
I say "I'm kind of confused, I was going to just have these adjudicated."
He says, "So what are you doing here, you should have done that out at the desk."
I said, "I told them that's what I wanted to do... they sent me back here."
He said, "Well, let's look at this anyway... hmmm, ok, How about this... you'll still come out ahead... I'll just waive one ticket, find you guilty of the other, and that will be less than the adjudicated fines would have been."
I say, "Fair enough."
He says, "Then you can get back to the ski slopes, with your rosignol skis, and your salomon boots, and your SNS bindings, and be like Glen Plake... and starts prattling off half a dozen other ski terms."
I ask about the other ticket. He says that I can go get another number for that ticket, but I better have a good reason why I didn't pay it... like I was in Afghanistan fighting terrorists at the time, or something like that... otherwise the judgment will stand. "In Judgment" means that I was already found guilty.
Like I said, no excuses, I head over to the cashier and hand him all the paperwork. He looks at me, I look at him, he looks at me and says "So what do you want to do?"
I say, "I'd like to pay these fines, there are two of them... one of them was dismissed."
He says, "You can't just SAY THAT, you have to prove it."
I say, "How should I prove it?"
He says, "Show me what the judge gave you."
I point to the stack of papers that are in his hand.
He says begrudgingly, "Oh, ok... let me look... hmm... yes... ok... well, according to this, you had three fines, one was dismissed. What would you like to pay?"
I said, "I'd like to pay the two fines that I owe, and not pay the one that was dismissed."
He says, "Hmmm.. oh, ok. So where's the bill?"
I say, "I don't know."
He says, "They were supposed to give you a bill?"
I say, "Who was supposed to give me a bill?"
He says, "I don't know... the judge?... ahh, it doesn't matter..."
He then punches it into a glorified adding machine, and reads off the ribbon receipt $237.45. I pay cash and he pulls the change from an old school wooden money drawer. Punches something into a computer, and gets a printout that shows that I paid both fines.
Step 10... GET OUT OF DODGE.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Rally to restore Sanity
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... or March to Keep Fear Alive.
So the event was a success. Apparently there were more than 200,000 people in attendance. I got to Citi-Field at about 6am to find thousands of people and hundreds of buses lined up. I jumped the line a few times and got on to a bus by about 8am. After flying down the NJ Turnpike, we came to a slow crawl through Delaware, Baltimore, and then into Washington. Then we came to a clusterfuck at the Metro station, so I walked the 2.5 miles to the mall.
By then it was after 1pm, and the rally was already on for more than an hour. On the bus, people were breaking out their iPad and iPhones and streaming the feed off Comedy Central. Somebody on the bus passed up their speaker to plug into the iPad so more of us could hear. We heard The Roots play and saw The Myth Busters attempt to start an earthquake.
The mall and the surrounding areas were jam packed with groovy people from all walks of life. Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves, being pleasant and not angry. There were a few signs from some left wing wackos, including a 9/11 Truther, some people advocating socialized medicine (not mincing words, owning up to the term "socialism"), and lots of anti-Tea Party jabs (making fun of Sarah Pallen and Christine O'Donnel). But mostly they were signs geared towards the intent of the rally, to promote cooperation and to lighten up a bit.
There were absolutely no political endorsements from the podium. It was mostly an extended Daily Show and Colbert Report, followed by a speech by John Stewart. The main thrust of the speech was to raise awareness as to the danger of the 24 hour news cycle as seen on the cable TV news networks. This is not a new theme for Stewart, it's essentially the same message he was preaching years ago when they had him on Crossfire.
His big metaphor was how cars merge on the highway when entering a tunnel. Even though people are from every political slant, and every walk of life... they still work together allowing each other to get down to two lanes and get to the light at the end of the tunnel, even if that light is not Paradise, but is only New Jersey. He said that the American People work together in harmony and peace "every damn day". Only in Washington and on the cable news stations do you find the jerks who ride up the shoulder and try to cut people off. The rest of us are willing to say "You go, then I'll go... you go, then I'll go..."
And yes, I DO feel a bit guilty about jumping the line to get on the bus.
The trip took 4.5 hours down, and 6 freaking hours back. All that for about an hour and a half of actual on-stage entertainment at the rally, plus a nice walk around the mall snapping pictures of the funny costumes and signs, and the hike back across town to RFK stadium to catch the bus back home.
Was well worth the effort, though if I had to do it again I would seriously consider booking a hotel and taking the train. Much thanks to Arianna Huffington and the Huffington Post for paying for the hundreds of buses and getting us there safe and sound at no cost. She was there at Citi Field at 6am, and I have a picture to prove it. If I was more on the ball, I could have gotten my picture with her. She was with an entourage, but was accessible and able to talk to people and take photos. Not that she is an A-list celebrity, but she is pretty famous, did pay for all the buses, and didn't HAVE to be there in person.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Exploring Mercury with The Messenger Spacecraft
Wow, what a great experience last night. It was so refreshing to be in the presence of highly intelligent, competent, enthusiastic people pursuing science for it's own sake, attempting to discover the secrets of the universe by reaching beyond our own planet and into the inner edge of our solar system. Sean Solomon is a role model for all human beings.
Here are a few things I learned...
- A while ago, NASA approved nine big ticket projects collectively known as the Discovery Program, one of which was the Rovers on Mars. One of which was the space craft called "Messenger" which is tasked with achieving orbit around Mercury and gathering data.
- the last space ship sent to explore Mercury was many years ago. It was a straight shot from Earth towards Mercury. Late in the project a European mathematician explained how it would be possible for them to actually loop around Mercury so they could get two whole passes at the planet before it fell into the sun (or smashed on the planet's surface... wasn't clear what it's fate was). This flight took about 6 or 8 months of travel.
- To achieve a true orbit around Mercury, Messenger needs to be launched at a high speed (just to get off the earth, then to not get sucked into the sun, etc). Then it has to decelerate at 100Km/s... not mile per hour or meters per second, but Km per second... that's a daunting amount of deceleration. It can't be done practically with thrusters. So they chose to use a more elegant solution. The ship first circled the Earth, twice, decelerating on each pass. Then it circled Venus, twice, decelerating again each pass. Then it circled Mercury once, decelerating yet again... and started to send us data on Mercury at that time. In approximately 6 months time, the Mercury Orbit Insertion will be attempted, and if all goes well, it will remain in orbit around Mercury for several years until they run out of propellant needed to make the fine adjustments. At that time, the sun's gravity will influence the orbit and it will crash on the surface of Mercury.
- This circuitous journey is taking 6 years of travel time.
- The mission is funded for one year after the insertion date, and they hope to be extended for some time after that if the data collection is going well.
- Right now they expect to get as close as 200 Km away from the surface of the planet. They hope, towards the end, to attempt to get even closer.
- The ship had to be designed to deal with the extreme heat. Thanks to a ceramic curtain on one side, the craft will exceed 700 degrees Fahrenheit on one side facing the sun and will remain at room temperature on the other side facing Mercury. That's where the electronics and data gathering equipment (the payload) reside.
- This payload consists of about 12 devices including a high resolution camera, a magnetometer, several spectrometers, and a few things I won't remember... but sound really really cool.
- From the one spin around the planet, we have already gathered an immense amount of data including high res images (as in, this is what you would really see with your eyes if you were there), maps of the small magnetic field, composition of the atmosphere (not technically called an atmosphere as it is not dense enough... the atoms contained don't interact and are unaware of each other's presence... similar to the outer edge of Earth's atmosphere), maps of elements from the solar wind as it passes around Mercury, mineral distribution on the surface, maps of volatile compounds being emitted from the planet, evidence of volcanic activity as seen by huge impact craters that seem to be filling themselves in over time (billions of years) and even pouring over their edges, various topographical features indicating tectonic activity...
- We are going to learn a hell of a lot about planets in general, and Mercury in particular over the next couple of years.
- When you gather amazing people from many different disciplines in science, you can do mind-bendingly amazing things.
- This is a great time to be alive.
Here are a few things I learned...
- A while ago, NASA approved nine big ticket projects collectively known as the Discovery Program, one of which was the Rovers on Mars. One of which was the space craft called "Messenger" which is tasked with achieving orbit around Mercury and gathering data.
- the last space ship sent to explore Mercury was many years ago. It was a straight shot from Earth towards Mercury. Late in the project a European mathematician explained how it would be possible for them to actually loop around Mercury so they could get two whole passes at the planet before it fell into the sun (or smashed on the planet's surface... wasn't clear what it's fate was). This flight took about 6 or 8 months of travel.
- To achieve a true orbit around Mercury, Messenger needs to be launched at a high speed (just to get off the earth, then to not get sucked into the sun, etc). Then it has to decelerate at 100Km/s... not mile per hour or meters per second, but Km per second... that's a daunting amount of deceleration. It can't be done practically with thrusters. So they chose to use a more elegant solution. The ship first circled the Earth, twice, decelerating on each pass. Then it circled Venus, twice, decelerating again each pass. Then it circled Mercury once, decelerating yet again... and started to send us data on Mercury at that time. In approximately 6 months time, the Mercury Orbit Insertion will be attempted, and if all goes well, it will remain in orbit around Mercury for several years until they run out of propellant needed to make the fine adjustments. At that time, the sun's gravity will influence the orbit and it will crash on the surface of Mercury.
- This circuitous journey is taking 6 years of travel time.
- The mission is funded for one year after the insertion date, and they hope to be extended for some time after that if the data collection is going well.
- Right now they expect to get as close as 200 Km away from the surface of the planet. They hope, towards the end, to attempt to get even closer.
- The ship had to be designed to deal with the extreme heat. Thanks to a ceramic curtain on one side, the craft will exceed 700 degrees Fahrenheit on one side facing the sun and will remain at room temperature on the other side facing Mercury. That's where the electronics and data gathering equipment (the payload) reside.
- This payload consists of about 12 devices including a high resolution camera, a magnetometer, several spectrometers, and a few things I won't remember... but sound really really cool.
- From the one spin around the planet, we have already gathered an immense amount of data including high res images (as in, this is what you would really see with your eyes if you were there), maps of the small magnetic field, composition of the atmosphere (not technically called an atmosphere as it is not dense enough... the atoms contained don't interact and are unaware of each other's presence... similar to the outer edge of Earth's atmosphere), maps of elements from the solar wind as it passes around Mercury, mineral distribution on the surface, maps of volatile compounds being emitted from the planet, evidence of volcanic activity as seen by huge impact craters that seem to be filling themselves in over time (billions of years) and even pouring over their edges, various topographical features indicating tectonic activity...
- We are going to learn a hell of a lot about planets in general, and Mercury in particular over the next couple of years.
- When you gather amazing people from many different disciplines in science, you can do mind-bendingly amazing things.
- This is a great time to be alive.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Across The Universe
Picked this up cheap on Blu-Ray at Costco. I saw some clips on YouTube and figured it was worth watching. I will give it a "should see", especially to music fans, pop culture fans, 1960's gurus, film enthusiasts, and lovers of choreography. For Beatles fans, this is a "must see"... though any true Beatles fan has already seen it, and doesn't need me to tell you that. I would put this as a modern version of the movie "Hair", but with all the music selected from The Beatles' extensive catalog.
The original Broadway play "Hair" did not have contain a narrative, but was a collage of songs, dances, and essays; the movie took those elements and wrapped them loosely around a plot. This is essentially what happens in "Across the Universe". A group of characters meet up and interact as music and dance occurs around them, sometimes occurring within the reality of the movie (such as performances by Sexy Sadie), but more often in typical musical fashion where they just break into song and dance as the plot is revealed.
This is certainly a quality production on many levels. The dancing and singing is quite good, the camera work is very imaginative, the choreography is also innovative and well executed. The script contains uncountable references to Beatles lyrics on top of the fact that all the characters take their names from Beatles tunes. There are also infinite references to various pop culture icons and events of the era. Of course the War in Vietnam is a central theme, the burning of draft cards, Yippies marching in the streets with analogous characters to Abbie Hoffman and other real life people, a scene from an "Electric Cool-Aid" party where you can see a Gerry Garcia-like character, an Allen Ginsberg, and many others.
Oddly enough, though certainly a conscious effort, there are many drug references yet the characters do not themselves partake. They mime smoking weed, but say things like "I don't even smoke". They do, however, drink beer.
The movie is speckled with well known celebrities such as Joe Cocker, Bono and Eddie Izzard (Brit comedian).
There are some anachronistic elements, such as musical interpretations that just didn't exist back then... like a bit of heavy punk-ish sounds, and general singing styles that didn't come into popularity until much later. But this is not really a problem as this is not a historical piece, it is a modern interpretation of the 60's era.
Lots of "making of" features on the Blu-Ray, director's commentary, detailed commentary on the correography, and all that good stuff. This works pretty well as a movie, and pretty well as a video album.
I recommend experiencing this one through a good audio system. I'm not sure it would hold up over plain old TV speakers. Swing on by if you want to have a look.
The original Broadway play "Hair" did not have contain a narrative, but was a collage of songs, dances, and essays; the movie took those elements and wrapped them loosely around a plot. This is essentially what happens in "Across the Universe". A group of characters meet up and interact as music and dance occurs around them, sometimes occurring within the reality of the movie (such as performances by Sexy Sadie), but more often in typical musical fashion where they just break into song and dance as the plot is revealed.
This is certainly a quality production on many levels. The dancing and singing is quite good, the camera work is very imaginative, the choreography is also innovative and well executed. The script contains uncountable references to Beatles lyrics on top of the fact that all the characters take their names from Beatles tunes. There are also infinite references to various pop culture icons and events of the era. Of course the War in Vietnam is a central theme, the burning of draft cards, Yippies marching in the streets with analogous characters to Abbie Hoffman and other real life people, a scene from an "Electric Cool-Aid" party where you can see a Gerry Garcia-like character, an Allen Ginsberg, and many others.
Oddly enough, though certainly a conscious effort, there are many drug references yet the characters do not themselves partake. They mime smoking weed, but say things like "I don't even smoke". They do, however, drink beer.
The movie is speckled with well known celebrities such as Joe Cocker, Bono and Eddie Izzard (Brit comedian).
There are some anachronistic elements, such as musical interpretations that just didn't exist back then... like a bit of heavy punk-ish sounds, and general singing styles that didn't come into popularity until much later. But this is not really a problem as this is not a historical piece, it is a modern interpretation of the 60's era.
Lots of "making of" features on the Blu-Ray, director's commentary, detailed commentary on the correography, and all that good stuff. This works pretty well as a movie, and pretty well as a video album.
I recommend experiencing this one through a good audio system. I'm not sure it would hold up over plain old TV speakers. Swing on by if you want to have a look.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Bizarre occurance on my way to Florida
Finally got around to writing this one up...
So I guess I bit off a bit more than I could chew on my trip to Florida at the end of January. I was leaving on a flight from McArthur Airport on Wednesday at 4:10. So in the best of all worlds, I should have been at the airport at 2:10. But I had noticed that the registration on my car was about to expire, and since I had recently changed license plates, I really wanted to go to DMV in person to be sure all went smoothly. How long could it POSSIBLY take to get my car registered anyway? Half an hour? Forty minutes? An hour? OK, so I budgeted a good hour and a half and gave myself some wiggle room on top of that. I was all packed and ready to go. Just had to get the reggie, and drive 45 minutes to an hour over to Islip.
At the Yonkers DMV I got my form and my "deli" ticket... I was number C706. Checking the light board I saw C660. OK, so I guess there were about 46 people in front of me. Or perhaps more than that, but 46 people in front of me who were there to register their cars? So I sit and wait... and wait... and I see that their are lots of other numbers being called, that begin with A, B, D, E, F, G, H, and I. Oh bloody hell... there could be NINE TIMES forty six people in front of me... and apparently there were. Two and a half hours later, they are up to C700, but I could not wait for one second longer. I would miss my flight. So I ran out of there as angry as a human could be, without actually killing somebody.
Mind you, I was sitting there ready to go with my license, old registration, insurance card, form, and debit card all in my nice little folder ready to just drop at the desk. I shouldn't have had to say a word, and the transaction should have taken about 5-7 minutes.
So out I ran, and headed towards Islip. My travel mate, Corey, assured me that McArthur Airport security is pretty lax, that the place is more like a bus terminal than an airport, and that it's quick to get in and out. Still, I was seriously pressed for time at this point. The plan all along was to leave my car at Corey's house, and have his wife Dom drop us off at the airport. On the way I called ahead and Corey was nervous... he said he's gonna have Dom drop him off at the airport, and then she could make a second trip with me if I got there in time. There was traffic on the Throg's Neck Bridge, but I made good time on the L.I.E. I pulled up to Dom and Corey's house as Dom was on her way back from her first trip. Five minutes later, I'm on my way to the airport, Dom laughing at me the whole time for being so predictably late.
Well I got to the airport a good 20 minutes before the plane was supposed to take off. Corey was right... curb side check-in was a breeze. I gave my bag and told him my name, and had my boarding pass printed up in seconds... keeping my backpack of electronics with me.
So now I'm doing the "Go OJ" through the airport up to security. HERE's where it gets weird.
So I come up to the security maze and pull out my wallet to get out my license. OMFG !!! My license NEVER leaves my wallet... where the HELL is my license ?!?!? Nooooooo... it's in the folder in the compartment of my car along with the DMV form and my insurance card.
So I guess that's it.. there's no way to get my ID in time to catch the flight... and BOY am I gonna hear it from Dom. So this TSA uniform guy sees the look of panic on my face and says "What's the matter son?" Mind you, he was about my age. So I say "I left my license in the car back at the house." He asks, "Well, what DO you have? You got a Costco card???" I simply don't believe he just said that. It's just too surreal to believe. I said "Yeah I have a Costco card... I got credit cards... got a New Jersey boating safety certificate (stamped with the State of NJ seal), etc..."
He looks at my stuff and grills me for about a minute... "You live in New York but your boating certificate if from NJ?? Where are you going anyway? What for? When will you be back???" Apparently I did OK and he could tell that I was not a sweating stammering underwear bomber... though I was nervous as hell and completely upset with myself.
He said "OK, I'm convinced that you are who you say you are. Let me sign off on this boarding pass" as he scribbles with his pen. He said "I don't know what will happen on the other side when you make the return trip, though." He then unhooks the velvet rope and lets me to the front of the line for security check. I unload all my gear into bins, zip through the check point, pack up my gear, and head to the gate.
I still can't believe it happened. I meet up w/ Corey and Ant and we still have 15 minutes before the plane starts to board. I'm totally convinced that any second somebody is gonna come by and say "Would you step over here sir..." but it never happened. In fact, once on the plane, the 4:10 flight actually was IN THE AIR at 4:13. I said "What happened to the 45 minute approach to the runway?" Corey assured me that that NEVER happens at McArthur.
Eventually after a few minutes in the air I finally convinced myself that this was not a dream, ant that this actually happened. BTW: Dom overnighted my license to me. And it's a good thing she did, because there was NO WAY I could have gotten through Tampa airport without it... never mind the obvious fact that this COULD NOT happen at LGA or JFK.
So I guess I bit off a bit more than I could chew on my trip to Florida at the end of January. I was leaving on a flight from McArthur Airport on Wednesday at 4:10. So in the best of all worlds, I should have been at the airport at 2:10. But I had noticed that the registration on my car was about to expire, and since I had recently changed license plates, I really wanted to go to DMV in person to be sure all went smoothly. How long could it POSSIBLY take to get my car registered anyway? Half an hour? Forty minutes? An hour? OK, so I budgeted a good hour and a half and gave myself some wiggle room on top of that. I was all packed and ready to go. Just had to get the reggie, and drive 45 minutes to an hour over to Islip.
At the Yonkers DMV I got my form and my "deli" ticket... I was number C706. Checking the light board I saw C660. OK, so I guess there were about 46 people in front of me. Or perhaps more than that, but 46 people in front of me who were there to register their cars? So I sit and wait... and wait... and I see that their are lots of other numbers being called, that begin with A, B, D, E, F, G, H, and I. Oh bloody hell... there could be NINE TIMES forty six people in front of me... and apparently there were. Two and a half hours later, they are up to C700, but I could not wait for one second longer. I would miss my flight. So I ran out of there as angry as a human could be, without actually killing somebody.
Mind you, I was sitting there ready to go with my license, old registration, insurance card, form, and debit card all in my nice little folder ready to just drop at the desk. I shouldn't have had to say a word, and the transaction should have taken about 5-7 minutes.
So out I ran, and headed towards Islip. My travel mate, Corey, assured me that McArthur Airport security is pretty lax, that the place is more like a bus terminal than an airport, and that it's quick to get in and out. Still, I was seriously pressed for time at this point. The plan all along was to leave my car at Corey's house, and have his wife Dom drop us off at the airport. On the way I called ahead and Corey was nervous... he said he's gonna have Dom drop him off at the airport, and then she could make a second trip with me if I got there in time. There was traffic on the Throg's Neck Bridge, but I made good time on the L.I.E. I pulled up to Dom and Corey's house as Dom was on her way back from her first trip. Five minutes later, I'm on my way to the airport, Dom laughing at me the whole time for being so predictably late.
Well I got to the airport a good 20 minutes before the plane was supposed to take off. Corey was right... curb side check-in was a breeze. I gave my bag and told him my name, and had my boarding pass printed up in seconds... keeping my backpack of electronics with me.
So now I'm doing the "Go OJ" through the airport up to security. HERE's where it gets weird.
So I come up to the security maze and pull out my wallet to get out my license. OMFG !!! My license NEVER leaves my wallet... where the HELL is my license ?!?!? Nooooooo... it's in the folder in the compartment of my car along with the DMV form and my insurance card.
So I guess that's it.. there's no way to get my ID in time to catch the flight... and BOY am I gonna hear it from Dom. So this TSA uniform guy sees the look of panic on my face and says "What's the matter son?" Mind you, he was about my age. So I say "I left my license in the car back at the house." He asks, "Well, what DO you have? You got a Costco card???" I simply don't believe he just said that. It's just too surreal to believe. I said "Yeah I have a Costco card... I got credit cards... got a New Jersey boating safety certificate (stamped with the State of NJ seal), etc..."
He looks at my stuff and grills me for about a minute... "You live in New York but your boating certificate if from NJ?? Where are you going anyway? What for? When will you be back???" Apparently I did OK and he could tell that I was not a sweating stammering underwear bomber... though I was nervous as hell and completely upset with myself.
He said "OK, I'm convinced that you are who you say you are. Let me sign off on this boarding pass" as he scribbles with his pen. He said "I don't know what will happen on the other side when you make the return trip, though." He then unhooks the velvet rope and lets me to the front of the line for security check. I unload all my gear into bins, zip through the check point, pack up my gear, and head to the gate.
I still can't believe it happened. I meet up w/ Corey and Ant and we still have 15 minutes before the plane starts to board. I'm totally convinced that any second somebody is gonna come by and say "Would you step over here sir..." but it never happened. In fact, once on the plane, the 4:10 flight actually was IN THE AIR at 4:13. I said "What happened to the 45 minute approach to the runway?" Corey assured me that that NEVER happens at McArthur.
Eventually after a few minutes in the air I finally convinced myself that this was not a dream, ant that this actually happened. BTW: Dom overnighted my license to me. And it's a good thing she did, because there was NO WAY I could have gotten through Tampa airport without it... never mind the obvious fact that this COULD NOT happen at LGA or JFK.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Saga Continues
So yesterday I went to take care of the Manhattan leg of my car ticket woes. Already took care of Yonkers last week. I was enlightened, disgusted, relieved, and befuddled.
Quick recap (not posted on this blog, sorry)... my front license plate had been missing, and I got a few tickets before I realized it was gone, and another after I got new plates, but before I could get the front plate mounted on my bumper. Had one Spanish guy at the local auto parts store try to screw it into my metal bumper and then had to attempt to explain that he would actually need a drill to do it because the bumper is not plastic. Finally got J and Tray's guy in Riverdale to do it.
So the plan was to plead to the judge that I got four tickets for the same offense, tried hard to get it fixed as soon as possible, and made all attempts to rectify the situation. So the day before, I checked online to see if there was any info I might be able to use to make my case. HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER !!! There were SEVEN additional tickets that I didn't know about. I had almost $1000 of outstanding fines. I'm AMAZED my car had not been towed. I immediately brought the car to the parking garage so the sharks w/ the tow trucks didn't scoop me up. All these tickets were BEFORE the first ticket I had ever seen for the missing plate... they were parking IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, double parking, alternate side parking, missing registration and inspection, and missing front plate. HUH? I didn't do any of those things... except missing front plate. Further scrutiny of the tickets (immaged online) and I saw the vehicle description... Blue Ford Pickup !!! I drive a BLACK JEEP !!! Now it all makes sense. Bucci called it right away, though it never occurred to me... somebody either swiped my plate off my car, or off the ground, and slapped it on the back of his unregistered vehicle and parked wherever he felt like parking. I wish I checked the vehicle description on my Yonkers tickets... wish the judge bothered to look too. Some of the NYC tix had a note saying VIN not visible, but two of them had a VIN listed which was NOT mine.
OK, so here's where it gets weird. Down at 66 John Street to the NYC department of finance where you can adjudicate your tickets and pay your fines. First step they send you to a window to get a printout of all your tickets. Next you go to the waiting area where you read the posters which detail the procedure. You have TWO CHOICES. First you go to a clerk, not a judge, and (s)he will automatically offer you a significant reduction of your fines (for most offenses). Then you can choose to take this reduced fine, OR go see the judge. The judge is not allowed to reduce the fines. He can dismiss the ticket or uphold the ticket. It's an actual gamble that you are taking.
So, before I get to the clerk/judge, there's the incompetent lady. She's got the clip board, calls the numbers, ushers people into seats where you wait for the clerk. She tells me, "fill out this form, go down this hall and have a seat". I ask politely if there is a pen I could use (my fault, I shouldn't go anywhere... especially court... without a pen). She assures me there's a clip board down the hall. So I walk a few feet to the end of the hall and there are chairs on both sides. I take a seat as she walks past me and wanders further down the hall. I spot the clipboard, stand up to get it, am walking back to my seat while fitting my form into the clipboard. She starts to berate me... "Sir, PLEASE have a seat. There's no reason for you to be standing up." I sit down and start to fill out the form. She says "So you're going to see the judge?" I say, "Yes, I intend to. But first I'd like to see what the reduced fine is." (This was spelled out clearly on the posters) Incompetent lady then says "No, you already gave up that choice." I calmly said "I'm sorry, but I didn't make any such choice." She said "But you're sitting on this side of the hall, that means you chose to see the judge." I said, "No, I sat where you told me to, and have not many any choices yet. I'd like to see what my reduced fines will be." She said "Then why are you on THIS SIDE... you should be on THAT side." (she points to seats three feat away on the other side of the narrow hall). "OK, thanks, I'll sit there then."
Clerk calls "NEXT", and I go talk to her. She's a little better, but still seemed befuddled by the task of doing exactly what she's been doing all day, every day, for God knows how long. Seemed like a novelty that she had to go through a pile of copies of tickets, and check them off, and figure out what the reduction would be. I told her that I was planning on seeing the judge about the first 7 tickets... she said "Which are the first seven?" I said, "you see that form on top that lists my 11 tickets? The first seven on that list are the first seven tickets." Oddly enough, she seemed incapable of looking through a stack of papers without spreading them out haphazardly on her desk, and then stacking them back up in a random order. She did help me out, though. She noted that of the four tickets that actually seemed to be written for MY car, for an offense that was (arguably) my responsibility, that two of them were issued on the same day, so she waved that one right away. The reduced the other three from $95/$75/$75 down to $43 each. At that point I said, I'll take that deal and see the judge about the rest.
OK, now back out to the hall and sit on what I now know is the correct side. Incompetent lady is now ushering other people into seats. Mind you, she's supposed to put people in seats IN ORDER, because that's how they determine who is NEXT. She seats an Asian guy, who clearly has little capacity in English, on the correct side and he starts filling out his form. He says "Miss, can you please give me back my ticket." She says "Ticket? I don't have your ticket? How did you lose your ticket? I don't take nobody's ticket!!!" He talks to the Asian guy next to him, and he sayd "Miss, he says you took his ticket, and he needs it to show the clerk." She says "Oh wait... I DID take your ticket and I have no idea what I did with it." She wanders around aimlessly for a minute or two, then walks back to the front waiting area where the other girl working there says "Hey, you left this stuff here !!" She brings back his ticket.
Meanwhile, several people on my side have been called in to see the judge, so there are a couple of open seats. As incompetent lady ushers a few more people down the hall, they fill in the open seats, one of which was IN FRONT of me, others were in front of other people behind me. So she can't even seat people in the correct order, or keep track of people's documents... which is ALL she does ALL DAY.
OK, then judge calls me in to an office, swears me in, hears my story, looks at the tickets, believes me, and dismisses all seven tickets. We talk VERY briefly as he's printing out the documents for me... I can see things lightened up as soon as he decided I was not a liar or scammer. He asked if I called the police when I realized somebody was using my plates. I said I didn't figure it out until yesterday, but I figure as soon as I re-registered my care for the new plates, the old ones would raise a red flag for any police officer writing a ticket for the OLD plates. He laughed and said, "No, they just write the tickets. Nobody runs plates. You'd think writing a ticket for a vehicle with a missing plate, no registration, and no inspection, with the VIN covered up would be enough to have him call for it to be towed... wouldn't you?"
OK, yippie-ay-oh-kay-ay !!! I just saw $950 in fines turn into $130. Now all I have to do is pay. Over to the other side of the office and wait on fairly long line, but not TOO bad. I read carefully my paying options on the posters. Credit cards, debit cards, money orders, checks, cash... all good. In fact, one window kept yelling "anybody paying by check, please step up !!" I waited, since I was paying w/ debit. I get to the window, plunk down the paperwork and my debit and license. The guy in the window says "Sorry, we don't take VISA anymore." I said, "It's a debit, not a credit card." He said, "Yeah, but it's a VISA, and we don't accept them." (Now I'm getting mad) I said angrily "The sign says you take debit. It doesn't say anything about VISA. Where does it say that you don't take VISA." He said, "It doesn't, but that's the rules." I ask where there's a cash machine, he says "Outside the building and across the street." He was nice enough to offer that I come back to him without waiting on the line. (oh, and BTW there would have been a $3 PER TICKET fee for using debit... even though they swipe it ONCE, and there's ONE transaction, they somehow multiply the fee per ticket.)
OK, across the street, a bank of the super fast Citi-bank machines save me $6 since they only hit me for the one $3 fee. Back to the building where the front doors are LOCKED !!! Inside the glass doors I see velvet rope across all doors, and a sign saying "building closes at 4:30. I check my watch and see it's 4:10. Steam is now pouring out of my ears... but luckily a stranger who works there says "Don't worry, last door on the left is still open until 4:30. Thank god, or I might be in jail right now !!!!!
Back upstairs, pay my fine, and get the hell out of there ASAP. Hopefully I will never darken their doorstep again !!!
Quick recap (not posted on this blog, sorry)... my front license plate had been missing, and I got a few tickets before I realized it was gone, and another after I got new plates, but before I could get the front plate mounted on my bumper. Had one Spanish guy at the local auto parts store try to screw it into my metal bumper and then had to attempt to explain that he would actually need a drill to do it because the bumper is not plastic. Finally got J and Tray's guy in Riverdale to do it.
So the plan was to plead to the judge that I got four tickets for the same offense, tried hard to get it fixed as soon as possible, and made all attempts to rectify the situation. So the day before, I checked online to see if there was any info I might be able to use to make my case. HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER !!! There were SEVEN additional tickets that I didn't know about. I had almost $1000 of outstanding fines. I'm AMAZED my car had not been towed. I immediately brought the car to the parking garage so the sharks w/ the tow trucks didn't scoop me up. All these tickets were BEFORE the first ticket I had ever seen for the missing plate... they were parking IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, double parking, alternate side parking, missing registration and inspection, and missing front plate. HUH? I didn't do any of those things... except missing front plate. Further scrutiny of the tickets (immaged online) and I saw the vehicle description... Blue Ford Pickup !!! I drive a BLACK JEEP !!! Now it all makes sense. Bucci called it right away, though it never occurred to me... somebody either swiped my plate off my car, or off the ground, and slapped it on the back of his unregistered vehicle and parked wherever he felt like parking. I wish I checked the vehicle description on my Yonkers tickets... wish the judge bothered to look too. Some of the NYC tix had a note saying VIN not visible, but two of them had a VIN listed which was NOT mine.
OK, so here's where it gets weird. Down at 66 John Street to the NYC department of finance where you can adjudicate your tickets and pay your fines. First step they send you to a window to get a printout of all your tickets. Next you go to the waiting area where you read the posters which detail the procedure. You have TWO CHOICES. First you go to a clerk, not a judge, and (s)he will automatically offer you a significant reduction of your fines (for most offenses). Then you can choose to take this reduced fine, OR go see the judge. The judge is not allowed to reduce the fines. He can dismiss the ticket or uphold the ticket. It's an actual gamble that you are taking.
So, before I get to the clerk/judge, there's the incompetent lady. She's got the clip board, calls the numbers, ushers people into seats where you wait for the clerk. She tells me, "fill out this form, go down this hall and have a seat". I ask politely if there is a pen I could use (my fault, I shouldn't go anywhere... especially court... without a pen). She assures me there's a clip board down the hall. So I walk a few feet to the end of the hall and there are chairs on both sides. I take a seat as she walks past me and wanders further down the hall. I spot the clipboard, stand up to get it, am walking back to my seat while fitting my form into the clipboard. She starts to berate me... "Sir, PLEASE have a seat. There's no reason for you to be standing up." I sit down and start to fill out the form. She says "So you're going to see the judge?" I say, "Yes, I intend to. But first I'd like to see what the reduced fine is." (This was spelled out clearly on the posters) Incompetent lady then says "No, you already gave up that choice." I calmly said "I'm sorry, but I didn't make any such choice." She said "But you're sitting on this side of the hall, that means you chose to see the judge." I said, "No, I sat where you told me to, and have not many any choices yet. I'd like to see what my reduced fines will be." She said "Then why are you on THIS SIDE... you should be on THAT side." (she points to seats three feat away on the other side of the narrow hall). "OK, thanks, I'll sit there then."
Clerk calls "NEXT", and I go talk to her. She's a little better, but still seemed befuddled by the task of doing exactly what she's been doing all day, every day, for God knows how long. Seemed like a novelty that she had to go through a pile of copies of tickets, and check them off, and figure out what the reduction would be. I told her that I was planning on seeing the judge about the first 7 tickets... she said "Which are the first seven?" I said, "you see that form on top that lists my 11 tickets? The first seven on that list are the first seven tickets." Oddly enough, she seemed incapable of looking through a stack of papers without spreading them out haphazardly on her desk, and then stacking them back up in a random order. She did help me out, though. She noted that of the four tickets that actually seemed to be written for MY car, for an offense that was (arguably) my responsibility, that two of them were issued on the same day, so she waved that one right away. The reduced the other three from $95/$75/$75 down to $43 each. At that point I said, I'll take that deal and see the judge about the rest.
OK, now back out to the hall and sit on what I now know is the correct side. Incompetent lady is now ushering other people into seats. Mind you, she's supposed to put people in seats IN ORDER, because that's how they determine who is NEXT. She seats an Asian guy, who clearly has little capacity in English, on the correct side and he starts filling out his form. He says "Miss, can you please give me back my ticket." She says "Ticket? I don't have your ticket? How did you lose your ticket? I don't take nobody's ticket!!!" He talks to the Asian guy next to him, and he sayd "Miss, he says you took his ticket, and he needs it to show the clerk." She says "Oh wait... I DID take your ticket and I have no idea what I did with it." She wanders around aimlessly for a minute or two, then walks back to the front waiting area where the other girl working there says "Hey, you left this stuff here !!" She brings back his ticket.
Meanwhile, several people on my side have been called in to see the judge, so there are a couple of open seats. As incompetent lady ushers a few more people down the hall, they fill in the open seats, one of which was IN FRONT of me, others were in front of other people behind me. So she can't even seat people in the correct order, or keep track of people's documents... which is ALL she does ALL DAY.
OK, then judge calls me in to an office, swears me in, hears my story, looks at the tickets, believes me, and dismisses all seven tickets. We talk VERY briefly as he's printing out the documents for me... I can see things lightened up as soon as he decided I was not a liar or scammer. He asked if I called the police when I realized somebody was using my plates. I said I didn't figure it out until yesterday, but I figure as soon as I re-registered my care for the new plates, the old ones would raise a red flag for any police officer writing a ticket for the OLD plates. He laughed and said, "No, they just write the tickets. Nobody runs plates. You'd think writing a ticket for a vehicle with a missing plate, no registration, and no inspection, with the VIN covered up would be enough to have him call for it to be towed... wouldn't you?"
OK, yippie-ay-oh-kay-ay !!! I just saw $950 in fines turn into $130. Now all I have to do is pay. Over to the other side of the office and wait on fairly long line, but not TOO bad. I read carefully my paying options on the posters. Credit cards, debit cards, money orders, checks, cash... all good. In fact, one window kept yelling "anybody paying by check, please step up !!" I waited, since I was paying w/ debit. I get to the window, plunk down the paperwork and my debit and license. The guy in the window says "Sorry, we don't take VISA anymore." I said, "It's a debit, not a credit card." He said, "Yeah, but it's a VISA, and we don't accept them." (Now I'm getting mad) I said angrily "The sign says you take debit. It doesn't say anything about VISA. Where does it say that you don't take VISA." He said, "It doesn't, but that's the rules." I ask where there's a cash machine, he says "Outside the building and across the street." He was nice enough to offer that I come back to him without waiting on the line. (oh, and BTW there would have been a $3 PER TICKET fee for using debit... even though they swipe it ONCE, and there's ONE transaction, they somehow multiply the fee per ticket.)
OK, across the street, a bank of the super fast Citi-bank machines save me $6 since they only hit me for the one $3 fee. Back to the building where the front doors are LOCKED !!! Inside the glass doors I see velvet rope across all doors, and a sign saying "building closes at 4:30. I check my watch and see it's 4:10. Steam is now pouring out of my ears... but luckily a stranger who works there says "Don't worry, last door on the left is still open until 4:30. Thank god, or I might be in jail right now !!!!!
Back upstairs, pay my fine, and get the hell out of there ASAP. Hopefully I will never darken their doorstep again !!!
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